Blue Mountain State s02e12 / Штат Блу Маунтин
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Welcome back to the Dan Patrick Show.
Joining us on the phone
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we got the coach Marty Daniels
from Blue Mountain State.
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– Hey, coach, how's it going?
– Good, Dan, and thanks for having me on.
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Be honest now, you came into
the season rank 14th
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and everybody was writing you off,
they said personally you were washed up.
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00:00:16,739 --> 00:00:19,371
So here you are, you're one game
away from being perfect.
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You've never been perfect
before in your life. 12-0.
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Number one ranking. What do you
think about that? Gotta feel good.
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Well, if I'm being honest,
yeah, it does feel good.
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And I hope those pricks
who wrote me off choke.
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Speaking of choking,
I gotta tell you,
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This is a trap game on Saturday.
This is a 1-10 team.
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Everybody's saying it's a lock for you
guys, and it's gonna set the stage
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For something dramatic.
You gotta be a little bit worried.
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No no, I'm not worried.
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Well, neither is
your quarterback.
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Radon Randell called the show
yesterday and he guaranteed a win.
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He did?
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Yeah, he guaranteed a win.
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He even predicted
the score here.
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He's got you guys
winning 115 to zip.
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– You still there, coach?
– Yeah, I'm sure he was just kidding around.
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No no no. I'm gonna read it to you.
I got the exact quote.
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"I, Radon Randell, will bury this
Pinkerton team singlehandedly.
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I'm guaranteeing a win
for my fans--
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115-0.
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I'm scoring four touchdowns
on the ground,
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throwing for five
in the air.
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and I'm also gonna see
if they'll let me beatbox
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'God Bless America'
at halftime."
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Well, I admire his enthusiasm,
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But we still have to
play the game.
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This could be your last shot
at redemption. You know that?
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I'd hate to see you blow it,
but I really think you're going to.
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What the hell's
your problem today, Dan?
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Is it because I tried to make out
with your sister at the ESPYs?
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That was not my sister.
That was my wife.
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And you better believe it.
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– ( crowd cheering )
– man: Can you feel that?
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You better hold on.
This one's about to get bumpy.
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♪ give me a hell,
give me a yeah ♪
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♪ hell yeah ♪
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♪ stand up right now ♪
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♪ give me a hell,
give me a yeah ♪
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♪ stand up right now,
right now ♪
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00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:07,111
♪ give me a hell,
give me a yeah ♪
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♪ stand up right now. ♪
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Sync by Alex1969
www.addic7ed.com
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Blue 16! Blue 16!
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Set! Hit!
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Hey, coach, this Q.B. shit is
just too easy, man.
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I wanna play receiver
on Saturday.
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Really? And I wanna bang
the queen of England,
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But that ain't happening either.
Get back in there and run the play.
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Trips right, 55 scissor.
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Get in there.
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Screw him, man.
Let's have some fun, fellas.
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Eagle go turn-in, two on one.
( laughs ) Ready?
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All: Break!
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Blue 16! Blue 16!
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Set! Hit!
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Pass!
Pass!
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– ( Thad shouts )
– ( Radon grunts )
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– God damn it!
– Whoooo!
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Stick a fork in him--
he's done, baby!
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What is wrong with you?
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You don't hit the quarterback
during practice.
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My shoulder! Ow!
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He was a receiver
and he was in my zone.
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Anybody who comes
in my zone gets laid out.
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That's what I do.
I lay people out!
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You know what?
I oughta lay you out.
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Just a stinger, coach.
He'll be okay.
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You're one lucky
son of a bitch.
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( Radon panting )
Shoot.
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He was in my zone.
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♪ from the bottom,
we packed up and reroute ♪
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♪ I hit 'em real light, though,
fatigued up and timed out... ♪
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«Penis gobblers--
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Wrap your pecker in these
delicious edible condoms
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and she'll be dying for a romantic
dessert after dinner.»
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Yup, penis gobblers.
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I found an old box
under my bed.
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They're delicious,
and girls love 'em.
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You expect me to believe
that penis gobblers
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– help you pick up women?
– Uh-huh.
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Hey, asshole. Those penis gobblers
made me throw up all weekend.
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Are you sure I didn't
hit your gag reflex?
( laughing )
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Keep laughing. My brother's coming
here this weekend
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and he's gonna
kick your ass.
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Well, I'm not a fighter,
so...
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So what does that
make you, a pussy?
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What did you
just call me?
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I called you a pussy,
pussy.
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– Call me a pussy again, see what happens.
– Miss, please don't.
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– You're a pussy!
– Your brother's a dead man!
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See you on
Saturday then, pussy.
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( stammers )
Yeah.
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♪ you can put your hands
on it, I want it now... ♪
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Ahh! Whoo!
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I'm telling you,
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The party after we win that game is
gonna be awesome.
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Maybe we should drink alone
in your room instead.
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– I like that idea.
– Hey, Alex.
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– Radon says you're starting
the game on Saturday.
– Is it true?
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No no. Radon's
just got a stinger.
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He's gonna be fine
for the game.
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Well, if that changes
and you are starting,
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– call us.
– Oh.
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We would love to get
to know you better.
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Oh. You guys share
the same phone number?
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We share everything.
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And we mean everything.
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Well, why don't you
sluts share a goodbye?
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– There it is.
– See you at cheer practice.
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– Can't wait to toss you up in the air.
– They're nice.
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– You're not really starting, are you?
– Wasn't planning on it.
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But actually,
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that's not a bad idea.
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I mean, this game is a lock.
If I bring home a 12-0, I'm a hero.
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That's low risk, high reward.
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– Radon's gonna be fine.
– Yeah.
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Oh shit.
Alex, look!
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It's Chuck Liddell,
the UFC fighter.
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– What? That's not Chuck Liddell.
– Yeah, it is.
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– What are you eating? What is this?
– These are penis gobblers.
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I'm gonna go say hi.
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Did he say penis gobblers?
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– Chuck? You Chuck Liddell?
– Yes, I am.
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– Hey, it's him. Alex, I told you it was him.
– Right.
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Wow, man. Big fan.
Big fan of yours.
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You want a penis gobbler?
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– What the hell is a penis gobbler?
– Edible condoms.
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They're delicious, but they got me
into a little bit of trouble.
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– Yeah, I'll try one.
– They're good.
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What kind of trouble
are you in?
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This girl sucked a penis gobbler
off my pecker and it made her sick.
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Now her brother's coming
to beat me up.
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You don't have to
fight, man.
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I usually don't. I usually just
tell people I jerked them off
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and they leave me alone.
But she called me a pussy.
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Oh well, that's different.
You gotta fight now.
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– Meet me tomorrow. I'll train you.
– Yeah?
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Yeah.
Gimme another one.
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– See you tomorrow.
– Wow.
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– Protect the quarterback this time!
– Spread spread!
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Come on, D.
Get off your butt.
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Oh boy.
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Blue 16.
Blue 16.
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Set! Hit!
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– ( Thad shouts )
– ( Radon screams )
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Down down down.
Don't hit me.
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Radon, what the hell
was that?
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I'm injured, coach.
I shouldn't be playing.
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The trainers and the doctors
said you're fine. Come on.
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Radon:
Moran should start Saturday.
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– Quit being such a gigantic--
– Back off, Thad.
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Hey wait,
maybe Radon's right.
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Why don't I take
a shot at this?
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– Yeah.
– I mean, we're gonna win anyway, right?
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Why don't we let Radon
rest till the bowl game?
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Shut up, Moran. Now come on,
try it one more time.
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Huddle up.
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Look, I think that
hit yesterday
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shook something loose
in Radon's head.
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We got a very delicate
situation here.
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I want you to call Mia, the one who
helped me get through my divorce.
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The one with
the nice cupcakes.
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You wanna put him
in therapy?
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00:07:28,566 --> 00:07:30,333
I can't afford to lose him.
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And I'm not gonna let that idiot
lose another big game for me.
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Standing right here, coach.
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Radon,
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Your coach tells me you're having
some confidence issues.
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It has nothing to do
with confidence.
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I'm injured. I've never been
injured before.
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Okay, we're going to play a word
association game.
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I'll say a word and you just say
the first thing that comes to your mind.
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You ready?
Football.
180
00:08:01,790 --> 00:08:03,958
Titties.
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00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,193
– Water.
– Titties.
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00:08:06,261 --> 00:08:08,195
– Shoulder.
– Titties again.
183
00:08:08,263 --> 00:08:10,431
I think you're searching
for a mother.
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00:08:10,499 --> 00:08:13,768
I know where my mom is.
She's in the air force.
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00:08:16,404 --> 00:08:19,306
Oh, you want
to write some shit down?
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00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,575
I can write some shit down too.
187
00:08:21,643 --> 00:08:24,011
Bet you don't know
what I wrote down.
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You wrote something
about my tits.
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00:08:26,281 --> 00:08:28,249
Nope.
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I drew them.
191
00:08:30,952 --> 00:08:33,020
Tv reporter:
We're two days away
from the final game
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00:08:33,088 --> 00:08:36,190
of the regular season
and BMS fans are buzzing
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00:08:36,258 --> 00:08:39,193
at the possibility
of an undefeated season.
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00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:42,396
But the big news on campus
is that Radon Randell
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00:08:42,464 --> 00:08:45,366
has been a no-show
at practice the past two days,
196
00:08:45,433 --> 00:08:48,335
putting sophomore Alex Moran
in the spotlight.
197
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:49,703
Back to you, Diane.
198
00:08:49,771 --> 00:08:52,106
Alex, you do
something to me.
199
00:08:52,174 --> 00:08:54,809
Well, if you call me after the game,
I will make sure that I do.
200
00:08:57,112 --> 00:08:59,046
This school is set
to explode, man.
201
00:08:59,114 --> 00:09:02,817
I know. And I am ready
to light the fuse.
202
00:09:02,884 --> 00:09:04,652
Any word from Radon?
203
00:09:04,719 --> 00:09:08,389
No, he hasn't
returned my calls.
204
00:09:08,456 --> 00:09:11,692
Are you feeling all right, Marty?
205
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,861
Yeah yeah, it's just
a little-- just hot out.
206
00:09:16,565 --> 00:09:18,833
'cause I am bringing home that w.
I guarantee it.
207
00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:20,835
( cheering )
208
00:09:20,902 --> 00:09:24,271
( groaning )
209
00:09:24,339 --> 00:09:26,140
Marty, Marty,
Marty, Marty!
210
00:09:26,208 --> 00:09:29,443
Somebody call
an ambulance! Help!
211
00:09:29,511 --> 00:09:33,314
Look, there he is--
dead meat.
212
00:09:33,381 --> 00:09:35,916
You pussy!
213
00:09:35,984 --> 00:09:37,751
Chuck?
214
00:09:42,490 --> 00:09:45,759
Chuck, Chuck! Hey, look,
Chuck, it's Sammy!
215
00:09:45,827 --> 00:09:48,796
Chuck, what in God's name are you
doing right now, man?
216
00:09:48,864 --> 00:09:50,664
Practicing my new move.
217
00:09:50,732 --> 00:09:52,633
I consider it the best fight move
in the world.
218
00:09:52,701 --> 00:09:55,636
Chuck, you gotta teach me that move,
man. Have a penis gobbler.
219
00:09:55,704 --> 00:09:58,539
– They're delicious.
– You're not ready for that move.
220
00:09:58,607 --> 00:10:01,442
Let's start small.
Ever been in a fight before?
221
00:10:01,509 --> 00:10:04,278
I haven't, Chuck.
But I'll do any-- Jesus!
222
00:10:04,346 --> 00:10:07,381
First rule in a fight,
don't get hit.
223
00:10:07,449 --> 00:10:08,949
Yeah, good to know, Chuck.
224
00:10:09,017 --> 00:10:11,518
Right after you punch me
in the face, you tell me that.
225
00:10:11,586 --> 00:10:14,488
– They are delicious, though.
– I told you they were good.
226
00:10:14,556 --> 00:10:16,290
Please don't die. Please don't die.
Please don't die. Please don't die.
227
00:10:16,358 --> 00:10:18,492
Whoa whoa whoa.
Family members only.
228
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:20,594
We're just gonna wait out here.
229
00:10:22,731 --> 00:10:25,099
I'm really scared you're
gonna lose this game for us.
230
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,468
You know you won't be able to show
your face at the school again, right?
231
00:10:27,535 --> 00:10:28,869
You're not helping right now.
232
00:10:28,937 --> 00:10:30,871
I'm just saying.
It's the media.
233
00:10:30,939 --> 00:10:33,274
Don't move. I have to check my hair
in the reflection in your eyes.
234
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,209
Don't move.
235
00:10:35,277 --> 00:10:38,279
Alex, Clay Travis, AOL Fanhouse,
how's your coach doing?
236
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,947
Well, he had a heart attack.
237
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:42,816
He's awake
and he's in good hands.
238
00:10:42,884 --> 00:10:45,319
Are you worried that if you lose
this game it might kill him?
239
00:10:45,387 --> 00:10:48,722
– I wasn't a minute ago. Jesus!
– I am.
240
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,629
You feel safe in here, don't you?
241
00:10:55,764 --> 00:10:59,233
I come here to think
and to party sometimes.
242
00:10:59,301 --> 00:11:02,236
You like it here because it represents
your mother's womb.
243
00:11:02,304 --> 00:11:05,039
So you mean to tell me
this whole time
244
00:11:05,106 --> 00:11:07,708
I've been partying
in my mom's vagina?
245
00:11:07,776 --> 00:11:11,145
Yes. Now I'm going to
rub your shoulder
246
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,881
and I'd want you to nurse from
my breast while I do it.
247
00:11:13,949 --> 00:11:17,017
You want me to do what?
248
00:11:17,085 --> 00:11:19,987
I'm going to present my breast
and I want you to nurse from it.
249
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,922
But I'm lactose intolerant.
250
00:11:21,990 --> 00:11:25,726
I'm not really lactating.
It's symbolic. Now go.
251
00:11:25,794 --> 00:11:27,861
Yes, ma'am.
252
00:11:31,366 --> 00:11:33,067
Go!
253
00:11:33,134 --> 00:11:36,570
Oh yeah!
Ooh yeah!
254
00:11:36,638 --> 00:11:38,472
Baby!
Whoo! Yeah!
255
00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:39,873
( cheering )
256
00:11:39,941 --> 00:11:43,010
Blue 16! Blue 16!
257
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,912
Hut! Hut!
258
00:11:52,954 --> 00:11:55,089
– Shake it off.
– It's okay, Alex.
259
00:11:55,156 --> 00:11:57,291
Kate and kara:
We still love you!
260
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:03,097
– What a pussy.
– Yeah.
261
00:12:03,164 --> 00:12:04,732
♪ any day
my ship could sink ♪
262
00:12:04,799 --> 00:12:07,735
♪ I've got nothing
to lose... ♪
263
00:12:07,802 --> 00:12:09,336
Come on, Chuck.
Come on!
264
00:12:09,404 --> 00:12:11,739
Chuck, okay, okay.
265
00:12:11,806 --> 00:12:14,541
– ( singing bms fight song )
– ( monitors beeping )
266
00:12:17,645 --> 00:12:21,382
I think it's time we both take
responsibility for what happened.
267
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:25,052
I shouldn't have hit
Radon like I did.
268
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,754
But now that I think about it,
he was in my zone.
269
00:12:26,821 --> 00:12:28,622
So that was his fault.
270
00:12:28,690 --> 00:12:30,958
Your turn.
271
00:12:31,026 --> 00:12:33,727
Are you kidding me?
This is completely your fault.
272
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:36,263
There wouldn't have been
an injury or a heart attack
273
00:12:36,331 --> 00:12:37,765
if you hadn't have hit Radon.
274
00:12:37,832 --> 00:12:40,200
Oh, there he is--
Mr. blame game.
275
00:12:40,268 --> 00:12:43,037
– So nice to see you again.
– Stop saying blame game.
276
00:12:43,104 --> 00:12:45,606
( moans )
277
00:12:45,673 --> 00:12:48,842
Look, maybe we can work
together to fix Radon.
278
00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:50,811
I vote we hit him again.
279
00:12:50,879 --> 00:12:52,713
My freshman year
I got hit in the nads so hard,
280
00:12:52,781 --> 00:12:54,681
they went up inside
my body for weeks.
281
00:12:54,749 --> 00:12:56,784
You know how I got those puppies
to drop back down again?
282
00:12:56,851 --> 00:12:59,953
– I have an idea, yeah.
– I told someone to hit me in the nads again.
283
00:13:00,021 --> 00:13:02,890
Look, I'm willing
to try anything, all right?
284
00:13:02,957 --> 00:13:05,325
Because the game starts
in 12 hours.
285
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:07,428
Are you sure that
this is gonna work?
286
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,696
I've never been more sure
of anything in my life.
287
00:13:09,764 --> 00:13:11,398
That's what I'm afraid of.
288
00:13:11,466 --> 00:13:14,868
This is stupid. Can I just suck
your titties again?
289
00:13:14,936 --> 00:13:17,604
We're never going to get anywhere
if you don't open up.
290
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:21,041
– Just tell me what you see.
– All right, fine.
291
00:13:21,109 --> 00:13:23,844
– They look like my coaches.
– Tell me about them.
292
00:13:23,912 --> 00:13:26,647
I see all my coaches.
293
00:13:26,714 --> 00:13:28,315
And they're just trying
294
00:13:28,383 --> 00:13:31,518
to exploit my athleticism.
295
00:13:31,586 --> 00:13:34,688
They don't care about me. They only
care about the touchdown factory.
296
00:13:34,756 --> 00:13:36,924
What's the touchdown factory?
297
00:13:36,991 --> 00:13:39,793
It's what I call my body.
( crying )
298
00:13:42,564 --> 00:13:44,731
I always thought
you had mommy issues.
299
00:13:44,799 --> 00:13:47,634
Now I realize you
have coach issues.
300
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,938
You need to tell
him how you feel.
301
00:13:51,005 --> 00:13:54,241
Can I offer you a blowjob
before you leave?
302
00:13:54,309 --> 00:13:56,977
If you think that it'd help me out
in this time of need,
303
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,546
I'll accept your offer.
304
00:13:59,746 --> 00:14:00,946
Good morning, Goat fans.
305
00:14:01,204 --> 00:14:04,906
We're just hours away from the
final game of the regular season.
306
00:14:05,074 --> 00:14:06,974
Can this team
finish undefeated
307
00:14:07,042 --> 00:14:09,277
without the arm
of Radon Randell
308
00:14:09,345 --> 00:14:11,813
or the leadership
of coach Marty Daniels?
309
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,049
– We'll find out today.
– Hey, Alex. Good luck with the game.
310
00:14:15,117 --> 00:14:18,519
– Yup.
– Hey, Alex, hey. We need to talk.
311
00:14:18,587 --> 00:14:20,955
I can't talk right now.
I have a perfect season to ruin.
312
00:14:21,023 --> 00:14:22,957
If we win tonight, are you gonna
bang the head cheerleaders?
313
00:14:23,025 --> 00:14:24,792
I don't know.
Maybe. I don't know.
314
00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:26,961
Okay, well, what if we lose?
315
00:14:27,029 --> 00:14:28,963
If we lose, I'll have to
transfer schools.
316
00:14:29,031 --> 00:14:31,466
Just so you know,
I'd go with you.
317
00:14:31,533 --> 00:14:34,302
Great. Thank you. That's exactly
what I need to hear right now.
318
00:14:34,370 --> 00:14:35,870
Thank you.
I'll talk to you later.
319
00:14:35,938 --> 00:14:37,739
Good to know
you're an asshole.
320
00:14:40,209 --> 00:14:41,843
Is this pussy gonna
show or what?
321
00:14:44,346 --> 00:14:46,748
This pussy showed up
all right.
322
00:14:46,815 --> 00:14:48,883
And he's gonna kick
some ass.
323
00:14:48,951 --> 00:14:50,752
Becca, you blew this guy?
324
00:14:50,819 --> 00:14:54,122
What do you want me to say?
His penis tasted like cherries.
325
00:14:54,189 --> 00:14:56,958
Before we get started,
I'd just like to let you know
326
00:14:57,025 --> 00:14:59,394
that I've been getting
personally trained by this guy--
327
00:14:59,461 --> 00:15:01,062
Chuck «The Iceman» Liddell.
328
00:15:01,130 --> 00:15:02,563
( crowd laughing )
329
00:15:02,631 --> 00:15:04,165
Really?
Chuck Liddell?
330
00:15:05,634 --> 00:15:07,668
That's good.
331
00:15:07,736 --> 00:15:09,971
You believe these guys, Ch--
Chuck, where'd you go?
332
00:15:10,038 --> 00:15:12,373
– You were just right here.
– Sammy, I'm here.
333
00:15:12,441 --> 00:15:14,075
But you're the only
one who can see me.
334
00:15:14,143 --> 00:15:15,777
What? Bullshit!
335
00:15:15,844 --> 00:15:17,478
The blonde girl was right.
336
00:15:17,546 --> 00:15:19,781
Those penis gobblers you've
been eating, they're expired.
337
00:15:21,617 --> 00:15:23,484
You've been hallucinating.
338
00:15:27,089 --> 00:15:28,656
Chuck:
That wasn't me you
met at the bar.
339
00:15:28,724 --> 00:15:30,892
Oh my god. Alex, look!
It's Chuck Liddell.
340
00:15:30,959 --> 00:15:33,795
– Right.
– Wow, man.
341
00:15:33,862 --> 00:15:35,830
Big fan of yours.
342
00:15:35,898 --> 00:15:37,231
Chuck:
And it wasn't me
who's been training you.
343
00:15:37,299 --> 00:15:39,634
Yeah, buddy, whoo!
344
00:15:39,701 --> 00:15:41,536
Chuck:
You've been alone
this whole time.
345
00:15:41,603 --> 00:15:44,772
What a pussy.
346
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,774
Chuck:
You couldn't handle
being called a pussy.
347
00:15:46,842 --> 00:15:49,043
You knew you couldn't win
the fight on your own,
348
00:15:49,111 --> 00:15:51,546
so you created me
as your courage.
349
00:15:51,613 --> 00:15:54,015
Oh shit!
350
00:15:54,082 --> 00:15:56,117
Man on radio:
I just don't think
Alex Moran can do it.
351
00:15:56,185 --> 00:15:58,486
He sucked in the Cypress bowl
last year and he--
352
00:15:58,554 --> 00:16:00,755
( turns radio off )
353
00:16:00,823 --> 00:16:02,690
( sighs )
354
00:16:02,758 --> 00:16:05,626
Hey, Mia, I could use
a little mothering right now.
355
00:16:05,694 --> 00:16:09,330
First things first. Radon has
something he'd like to share.
356
00:16:09,398 --> 00:16:11,032
Go ahead.
What do you have to say?
357
00:16:12,835 --> 00:16:15,403
Okay, my coaches
358
00:16:15,471 --> 00:16:17,705
have always been like my dads.
359
00:16:17,773 --> 00:16:21,142
Like, they took care of me. They took
me places. They bought me shit.
360
00:16:21,210 --> 00:16:23,044
But you're not like that.
361
00:16:23,111 --> 00:16:26,514
If I get hurt or injured,
362
00:16:26,582 --> 00:16:28,516
you're gonna just drop me
363
00:16:28,584 --> 00:16:31,085
and I'm never
gonna see you again.
364
00:16:31,153 --> 00:16:34,388
So that's why
I don't wanna play.
365
00:16:34,456 --> 00:16:36,524
You know, Radon,
366
00:16:36,592 --> 00:16:38,860
there's something I've
been meaning to tell you,
367
00:16:38,927 --> 00:16:41,496
something I wish I would
have told you days ago.
368
00:16:41,563 --> 00:16:44,065
You're being a pussy.
369
00:16:44,132 --> 00:16:47,134
I'm being a what?
370
00:16:47,202 --> 00:16:49,437
Did you just hear
what he just said to me?
371
00:16:49,505 --> 00:16:52,874
Yes, I agree.
You're being a gigantic pussy.
372
00:16:52,941 --> 00:16:55,109
I'm being a pussy?
373
00:16:55,177 --> 00:16:58,379
He's being a pussy.
He's the one in the hospital bed.
374
00:16:58,447 --> 00:17:00,548
I just had a freakin'
heart attack, you pussy.
375
00:17:00,616 --> 00:17:02,283
Man, stop calling
me a pussy, you pussy.
376
00:17:02,351 --> 00:17:04,552
You're the one that got all the stuff
hanging out your chest, man.
377
00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:05,720
Don't call me no pussy
no more.
378
00:17:05,787 --> 00:17:07,655
Oh, you wanna play that game?
379
00:17:07,723 --> 00:17:09,190
Okay.
( groaning )
380
00:17:09,258 --> 00:17:11,225
Radon, you need
to decide right now.
381
00:17:11,293 --> 00:17:13,661
Do you want to spend the rest of
your life sucking on mommy's titties
382
00:17:13,729 --> 00:17:17,565
like a little pussy? Or do you want
to play football like a man
383
00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:20,234
and maybe suck on some
cheerleader titties?
384
00:17:20,302 --> 00:17:22,837
Hey, I'm walking out
of this hospital
385
00:17:22,905 --> 00:17:25,139
and right onto the sidelines.
386
00:17:25,207 --> 00:17:27,241
And you're too much
of a pussy to ever do that.
387
00:17:27,309 --> 00:17:30,578
I'll walk out on the sidelines
right now with you, you pussy.
388
00:17:30,646 --> 00:17:33,414
– Let's friggin' go then.
– Well, let's go then.
389
00:17:33,482 --> 00:17:35,016
Chuck, how can you
do this to me?
390
00:17:35,083 --> 00:17:37,451
Who's this idiot talking to?
391
00:17:37,519 --> 00:17:39,554
You were supposed to teach me
the best fight move in the world.
392
00:17:39,621 --> 00:17:41,222
Sammy, you created me.
393
00:17:41,290 --> 00:17:43,658
That means you created the best
fight move in the world too.
394
00:17:46,428 --> 00:17:48,362
What in God's name are you
doing right now, man?
395
00:17:48,430 --> 00:17:50,431
Practicing my new move.
396
00:17:50,499 --> 00:17:52,800
I consider it the best
fight move in the world.
397
00:17:52,868 --> 00:17:54,869
Come on, Kyle.
Put him in a body bag.
398
00:17:54,937 --> 00:17:57,371
Let's do this, man.
Bring it on, pussy.
399
00:17:57,439 --> 00:17:59,373
I like you, Sammy.
I always have.
400
00:17:59,441 --> 00:18:02,276
( snaps fingers )
Always will.
401
00:18:02,344 --> 00:18:04,178
I like you too, Chuck.
402
00:18:07,349 --> 00:18:10,785
Okay, listen up.
403
00:18:10,852 --> 00:18:13,854
«In any man's finest hour,
404
00:18:13,922 --> 00:18:16,490
he must rise to the challenges
in his path.»
405
00:18:19,861 --> 00:18:22,964
He's not coming. No, we're screwed.
I'm sure I'm screwed.
406
00:18:23,031 --> 00:18:24,498
«Glory comes to the man...»
407
00:18:24,566 --> 00:18:26,434
It's over. I should learn
these plays.
408
00:18:26,501 --> 00:18:28,669
Oh shit.
Where the hell's Thad?
409
00:18:28,737 --> 00:18:30,705
«What he does--»
Marty!
410
00:18:30,772 --> 00:18:33,007
– Ha ha!
– Radon.
411
00:18:33,075 --> 00:18:35,076
Who's ready to win
a football game, baby?
412
00:18:35,143 --> 00:18:36,711
( cheering )
413
00:18:36,778 --> 00:18:39,814
– Get suited up, Radon.
– I'm back, baby.
414
00:18:39,881 --> 00:18:43,217
– I'm back!
– Thank God!
415
00:18:43,285 --> 00:18:46,187
I'm back, baby.
I'm back, man!
416
00:18:47,556 --> 00:18:51,225
I'm back, baby!
417
00:18:51,293 --> 00:18:54,095
♪ that's the only way to go, I hope
you know what you're talking about ♪
418
00:18:54,162 --> 00:18:56,530
♪ 'cause I get my hustle on,
dawg, that's what I'm about ♪
419
00:18:56,598 --> 00:18:58,232
♪ get your hustle
on, dawg ♪
420
00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:01,102
♪ that's what it's about
and keep it rolling, man ♪
421
00:19:01,169 --> 00:19:03,504
♪ you gotta be up on it,
that's the only way to go now ♪
422
00:19:03,572 --> 00:19:05,806
♪ know what
you're talking about ♪
423
00:19:05,874 --> 00:19:07,908
♪ but I get my hustle on,
dawg, that's what I'm about ♪
424
00:19:07,976 --> 00:19:09,744
♪ get your hustle
on, dawg ♪
425
00:19:09,811 --> 00:19:11,646
♪ that's what it's about
and keep it rolling, man ♪
426
00:19:11,713 --> 00:19:14,582
♪ you gotta be up on it,
that's the only way to go ♪
427
00:19:14,650 --> 00:19:16,917
♪ I hope you know what
you're talking about ♪
428
00:19:16,985 --> 00:19:19,654
♪ 'cause I get my hustle on,
dawg, that's what I'm about ♪
429
00:19:19,721 --> 00:19:21,455
♪ get your hustle
on, dawg ♪
430
00:19:21,523 --> 00:19:23,824
♪ that's what it's about
and keep it rolling, man ♪
431
00:19:23,892 --> 00:19:26,127
♪ you gotta get it on, and that's for sure,
know what I'm talking about? ♪
432
00:19:26,194 --> 00:19:29,430
Yeah, suck on that, you pussy.
433
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,035
( groans )
434
00:19:34,102 --> 00:19:37,705
Did we do it, Chuck?
Did we win?
435
00:19:37,773 --> 00:19:40,141
You gotta lay off those
penis gobblers, my man.
436
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:45,851
– Get off him! Radon.
437
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:47,619
( Radon screams )
438
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,956
– Are you freakin' crazy?
– Marty, your heart.
439
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:53,992
He's cured now, coach.
You're welcome.
440
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:56,495
Oh, my shoulder.
441
00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:58,330
He's really hurt this time.
442
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:03,235
No no no no.
Shit shit shit.
443
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:07,439
– Our plan didn't work out, bro.
– No shit!
444
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:08,940
Let's go get 'em.
445
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:11,176
And no pressure, but if
you lose this game...
446
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:12,611
Both:
coach is probably gonna die.
447
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:15,847
– I know. I got it.
– I believe in you, Moran,
448
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:18,750
mostly because
I don't have a choice.
449
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:22,421
Don't let all of us down.
450
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:23,955
Oh.
451
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,961
This is hell.
452
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,331
Aw shit.
453
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:36,101
Okay, let's do this.
454
00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:44,443
( mutters )
455
00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:48,113
Oh, shit.
00:00:02,442 --> 00:00:04,873
Welcome back to the Dan Patrick Show.
Joining us on the phone
2
00:00:04,933 --> 00:00:07,632
we got the coach Marty Daniels
from Blue Mountain State.
3
00:00:07,796 --> 00:00:10,873
– Hey, coach, how's it going?
– Good, Dan, and thanks for having me on.
4
00:00:11,225 --> 00:00:13,855
Be honest now, you came into
the season rank 14th
5
00:00:13,915 --> 00:00:16,679
and everybody was writing you off,
they said personally you were washed up.
6
00:00:16,739 --> 00:00:19,371
So here you are, you're one game
away from being perfect.
7
00:00:19,438 --> 00:00:22,007
You've never been perfect
before in your life. 12-0.
8
00:00:22,074 --> 00:00:25,377
Number one ranking. What do you
think about that? Gotta feel good.
9
00:00:25,444 --> 00:00:28,546
Well, if I'm being honest,
yeah, it does feel good.
10
00:00:28,614 --> 00:00:30,448
And I hope those pricks
who wrote me off choke.
11
00:00:30,516 --> 00:00:32,217
Speaking of choking,
I gotta tell you,
12
00:00:32,284 --> 00:00:36,287
This is a trap game on Saturday.
This is a 1-10 team.
13
00:00:36,355 --> 00:00:39,557
Everybody's saying it's a lock for you
guys, and it's gonna set the stage
14
00:00:39,625 --> 00:00:41,960
For something dramatic.
You gotta be a little bit worried.
15
00:00:42,028 --> 00:00:44,195
No no, I'm not worried.
16
00:00:44,263 --> 00:00:46,264
Well, neither is
your quarterback.
17
00:00:46,332 --> 00:00:50,868
Radon Randell called the show
yesterday and he guaranteed a win.
18
00:00:50,935 --> 00:00:52,636
He did?
19
00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:54,138
Yeah, he guaranteed a win.
20
00:00:54,205 --> 00:00:55,639
He even predicted
the score here.
21
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:59,143
He's got you guys
winning 115 to zip.
22
00:00:59,210 --> 00:01:02,713
– You still there, coach?
– Yeah, I'm sure he was just kidding around.
23
00:01:02,781 --> 00:01:04,982
No no no. I'm gonna read it to you.
I got the exact quote.
24
00:01:05,050 --> 00:01:08,552
"I, Radon Randell, will bury this
Pinkerton team singlehandedly.
25
00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:10,554
I'm guaranteeing a win
for my fans--
26
00:01:10,622 --> 00:01:12,890
115-0.
27
00:01:12,957 --> 00:01:15,059
I'm scoring four touchdowns
on the ground,
28
00:01:15,126 --> 00:01:16,827
throwing for five
in the air.
29
00:01:16,895 --> 00:01:18,629
and I'm also gonna see
if they'll let me beatbox
30
00:01:18,696 --> 00:01:20,564
'God Bless America'
at halftime."
31
00:01:20,632 --> 00:01:22,599
Well, I admire his enthusiasm,
32
00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:26,236
But we still have to
play the game.
33
00:01:26,304 --> 00:01:28,272
This could be your last shot
at redemption. You know that?
34
00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:31,175
I'd hate to see you blow it,
but I really think you're going to.
35
00:01:31,242 --> 00:01:33,944
What the hell's
your problem today, Dan?
36
00:01:34,012 --> 00:01:37,047
Is it because I tried to make out
with your sister at the ESPYs?
37
00:01:37,115 --> 00:01:38,715
That was not my sister.
That was my wife.
38
00:01:38,783 --> 00:01:40,784
And you better believe it.
39
00:01:41,452 --> 00:01:44,021
– ( crowd cheering )
– man: Can you feel that?
40
00:01:47,292 --> 00:01:51,161
You better hold on.
This one's about to get bumpy.
41
00:01:51,229 --> 00:01:54,665
♪ give me a hell,
give me a yeah ♪
42
00:01:54,732 --> 00:01:56,366
♪ hell yeah ♪
43
00:01:56,434 --> 00:01:58,001
♪ stand up right now ♪
44
00:01:58,069 --> 00:02:01,505
♪ give me a hell,
give me a yeah ♪
45
00:02:01,573 --> 00:02:03,807
♪ stand up right now,
right now ♪
46
00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:07,111
♪ give me a hell,
give me a yeah ♪
47
00:02:07,178 --> 00:02:09,379
♪ stand up right now. ♪
48
00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:12,009
Sync by Alex1969
www.addic7ed.com
49
00:02:12,484 --> 00:02:16,120
Blue 16! Blue 16!
50
00:02:16,187 --> 00:02:17,821
Set! Hit!
51
00:02:20,859 --> 00:02:24,228
Hey, coach, this Q.B. shit is
just too easy, man.
52
00:02:24,295 --> 00:02:26,230
I wanna play receiver
on Saturday.
53
00:02:26,297 --> 00:02:28,932
Really? And I wanna bang
the queen of England,
54
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,568
But that ain't happening either.
Get back in there and run the play.
55
00:02:31,636 --> 00:02:33,570
Trips right, 55 scissor.
56
00:02:33,638 --> 00:02:35,539
Get in there.
57
00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:39,543
Screw him, man.
Let's have some fun, fellas.
58
00:02:39,611 --> 00:02:42,412
Eagle go turn-in, two on one.
( laughs ) Ready?
59
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,149
All: Break!
60
00:02:45,216 --> 00:02:49,052
Blue 16! Blue 16!
61
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:50,787
Set! Hit!
62
00:02:53,324 --> 00:02:54,725
Pass!
Pass!
63
00:02:56,728 --> 00:02:58,462
– ( Thad shouts )
– ( Radon grunts )
64
00:02:58,530 --> 00:03:00,464
– God damn it!
– Whoooo!
65
00:03:00,532 --> 00:03:04,168
Stick a fork in him--
he's done, baby!
66
00:03:04,235 --> 00:03:05,769
What is wrong with you?
67
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,938
You don't hit the quarterback
during practice.
68
00:03:08,006 --> 00:03:09,806
My shoulder! Ow!
69
00:03:09,874 --> 00:03:13,443
He was a receiver
and he was in my zone.
70
00:03:13,511 --> 00:03:16,413
Anybody who comes
in my zone gets laid out.
71
00:03:16,481 --> 00:03:20,250
That's what I do.
I lay people out!
72
00:03:20,318 --> 00:03:22,186
You know what?
I oughta lay you out.
73
00:03:22,253 --> 00:03:25,322
Just a stinger, coach.
He'll be okay.
74
00:03:25,390 --> 00:03:27,591
You're one lucky
son of a bitch.
75
00:03:27,659 --> 00:03:29,526
( Radon panting )
Shoot.
76
00:03:29,594 --> 00:03:31,962
He was in my zone.
77
00:03:32,030 --> 00:03:34,231
♪ from the bottom,
we packed up and reroute ♪
78
00:03:34,299 --> 00:03:37,401
♪ I hit 'em real light, though,
fatigued up and timed out... ♪
79
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:38,936
«Penis gobblers--
80
00:03:39,003 --> 00:03:41,705
Wrap your pecker in these
delicious edible condoms
81
00:03:41,773 --> 00:03:44,641
and she'll be dying for a romantic
dessert after dinner.»
82
00:03:44,709 --> 00:03:47,044
Yup, penis gobblers.
83
00:03:47,111 --> 00:03:49,213
I found an old box
under my bed.
84
00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:51,181
They're delicious,
and girls love 'em.
85
00:03:51,249 --> 00:03:55,052
You expect me to believe
that penis gobblers
86
00:03:55,119 --> 00:03:57,054
– help you pick up women?
– Uh-huh.
87
00:03:57,121 --> 00:04:00,958
Hey, asshole. Those penis gobblers
made me throw up all weekend.
88
00:04:01,025 --> 00:04:03,193
Are you sure I didn't
hit your gag reflex?
( laughing )
89
00:04:03,261 --> 00:04:05,729
Keep laughing. My brother's coming
here this weekend
90
00:04:05,797 --> 00:04:07,364
and he's gonna
kick your ass.
91
00:04:07,432 --> 00:04:09,099
Well, I'm not a fighter,
so...
92
00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:12,369
So what does that
make you, a pussy?
93
00:04:15,540 --> 00:04:17,040
What did you
just call me?
94
00:04:17,108 --> 00:04:20,978
I called you a pussy,
pussy.
95
00:04:21,045 --> 00:04:23,647
– Call me a pussy again, see what happens.
– Miss, please don't.
96
00:04:23,715 --> 00:04:27,217
– You're a pussy!
– Your brother's a dead man!
97
00:04:27,285 --> 00:04:30,487
See you on
Saturday then, pussy.
98
00:04:30,555 --> 00:04:33,190
( stammers )
Yeah.
99
00:04:33,258 --> 00:04:35,759
♪ you can put your hands
on it, I want it now... ♪
100
00:04:35,827 --> 00:04:38,462
Ahh! Whoo!
101
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,197
I'm telling you,
102
00:04:40,265 --> 00:04:43,300
The party after we win that game is
gonna be awesome.
103
00:04:43,368 --> 00:04:46,270
Maybe we should drink alone
in your room instead.
104
00:04:46,337 --> 00:04:49,373
– I like that idea.
– Hey, Alex.
105
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:52,276
– Radon says you're starting
the game on Saturday.
– Is it true?
106
00:04:52,343 --> 00:04:55,012
No no. Radon's
just got a stinger.
107
00:04:55,079 --> 00:04:57,881
He's gonna be fine
for the game.
108
00:04:57,949 --> 00:05:00,884
Well, if that changes
and you are starting,
109
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:03,086
– call us.
– Oh.
110
00:05:03,154 --> 00:05:05,389
We would love to get
to know you better.
111
00:05:05,456 --> 00:05:08,091
Oh. You guys share
the same phone number?
112
00:05:08,159 --> 00:05:09,760
We share everything.
113
00:05:09,827 --> 00:05:12,863
And we mean everything.
114
00:05:12,930 --> 00:05:15,265
Well, why don't you
sluts share a goodbye?
115
00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:18,902
– There it is.
– See you at cheer practice.
116
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:22,339
– Can't wait to toss you up in the air.
– They're nice.
117
00:05:22,407 --> 00:05:25,042
– You're not really starting, are you?
– Wasn't planning on it.
118
00:05:25,109 --> 00:05:27,077
But actually,
119
00:05:27,145 --> 00:05:28,979
that's not a bad idea.
120
00:05:29,047 --> 00:05:32,149
I mean, this game is a lock.
If I bring home a 12-0, I'm a hero.
121
00:05:32,216 --> 00:05:34,017
That's low risk, high reward.
122
00:05:34,085 --> 00:05:35,919
– Radon's gonna be fine.
– Yeah.
123
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:37,321
Oh shit.
Alex, look!
124
00:05:37,388 --> 00:05:39,289
It's Chuck Liddell,
the UFC fighter.
125
00:05:39,357 --> 00:05:42,125
– What? That's not Chuck Liddell.
– Yeah, it is.
126
00:05:42,193 --> 00:05:44,828
– What are you eating? What is this?
– These are penis gobblers.
127
00:05:44,896 --> 00:05:47,898
I'm gonna go say hi.
128
00:05:47,965 --> 00:05:50,767
Did he say penis gobblers?
129
00:05:50,835 --> 00:05:53,704
– Chuck? You Chuck Liddell?
– Yes, I am.
130
00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:57,107
– Hey, it's him. Alex, I told you it was him.
– Right.
131
00:05:58,409 --> 00:06:00,510
Wow, man. Big fan.
Big fan of yours.
132
00:06:00,578 --> 00:06:02,779
You want a penis gobbler?
133
00:06:02,847 --> 00:06:05,549
– What the hell is a penis gobbler?
– Edible condoms.
134
00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:08,251
They're delicious, but they got me
into a little bit of trouble.
135
00:06:08,319 --> 00:06:10,387
– Yeah, I'll try one.
– They're good.
136
00:06:10,455 --> 00:06:12,089
What kind of trouble
are you in?
137
00:06:12,156 --> 00:06:14,858
This girl sucked a penis gobbler
off my pecker and it made her sick.
138
00:06:14,926 --> 00:06:16,827
Now her brother's coming
to beat me up.
139
00:06:16,894 --> 00:06:18,628
You don't have to
fight, man.
140
00:06:18,696 --> 00:06:20,297
I usually don't. I usually just
tell people I jerked them off
141
00:06:20,365 --> 00:06:24,034
and they leave me alone.
But she called me a pussy.
142
00:06:24,102 --> 00:06:26,536
Oh well, that's different.
You gotta fight now.
143
00:06:26,604 --> 00:06:28,805
– Meet me tomorrow. I'll train you.
– Yeah?
144
00:06:28,873 --> 00:06:30,607
Yeah.
Gimme another one.
145
00:06:30,675 --> 00:06:33,143
– See you tomorrow.
– Wow.
146
00:06:33,211 --> 00:06:36,646
– Protect the quarterback this time!
– Spread spread!
147
00:06:36,714 --> 00:06:37,681
Come on, D.
Get off your butt.
148
00:06:37,749 --> 00:06:40,784
Oh boy.
149
00:06:40,852 --> 00:06:43,854
Blue 16.
Blue 16.
150
00:06:43,921 --> 00:06:46,156
Set! Hit!
151
00:06:46,224 --> 00:06:48,225
– ( Thad shouts )
– ( Radon screams )
152
00:06:48,292 --> 00:06:50,193
Down down down.
Don't hit me.
153
00:06:50,261 --> 00:06:52,028
Radon, what the hell
was that?
154
00:06:52,096 --> 00:06:54,398
I'm injured, coach.
I shouldn't be playing.
155
00:06:54,465 --> 00:06:57,167
The trainers and the doctors
said you're fine. Come on.
156
00:06:57,235 --> 00:06:58,702
Radon:
Moran should start Saturday.
157
00:06:58,770 --> 00:07:01,605
– Quit being such a gigantic--
– Back off, Thad.
158
00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:03,373
Hey wait,
maybe Radon's right.
159
00:07:03,441 --> 00:07:05,275
Why don't I take
a shot at this?
160
00:07:05,343 --> 00:07:07,177
– Yeah.
– I mean, we're gonna win anyway, right?
161
00:07:07,245 --> 00:07:09,246
Why don't we let Radon
rest till the bowl game?
162
00:07:09,313 --> 00:07:12,082
Shut up, Moran. Now come on,
try it one more time.
163
00:07:12,150 --> 00:07:14,985
Huddle up.
164
00:07:15,052 --> 00:07:16,820
Look, I think that
hit yesterday
165
00:07:16,888 --> 00:07:19,122
shook something loose
in Radon's head.
166
00:07:19,190 --> 00:07:21,291
We got a very delicate
situation here.
167
00:07:21,359 --> 00:07:24,528
I want you to call Mia, the one who
helped me get through my divorce.
168
00:07:24,595 --> 00:07:26,129
The one with
the nice cupcakes.
169
00:07:26,197 --> 00:07:28,498
You wanna put him
in therapy?
170
00:07:28,566 --> 00:07:30,333
I can't afford to lose him.
171
00:07:30,401 --> 00:07:33,470
And I'm not gonna let that idiot
lose another big game for me.
172
00:07:33,538 --> 00:07:35,472
Standing right here, coach.
173
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:45,139
Radon,
174
00:07:45,207 --> 00:07:47,475
Your coach tells me you're having
some confidence issues.
175
00:07:47,542 --> 00:07:49,510
It has nothing to do
with confidence.
176
00:07:49,578 --> 00:07:52,379
I'm injured. I've never been
injured before.
177
00:07:52,447 --> 00:07:56,050
Okay, we're going to play a word
association game.
178
00:07:56,118 --> 00:07:59,120
I'll say a word and you just say
the first thing that comes to your mind.
179
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,722
You ready?
Football.
180
00:08:01,790 --> 00:08:03,958
Titties.
181
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,193
– Water.
– Titties.
182
00:08:06,261 --> 00:08:08,195
– Shoulder.
– Titties again.
183
00:08:08,263 --> 00:08:10,431
I think you're searching
for a mother.
184
00:08:10,499 --> 00:08:13,768
I know where my mom is.
She's in the air force.
185
00:08:16,404 --> 00:08:19,306
Oh, you want
to write some shit down?
186
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,575
I can write some shit down too.
187
00:08:21,643 --> 00:08:24,011
Bet you don't know
what I wrote down.
188
00:08:24,079 --> 00:08:26,213
You wrote something
about my tits.
189
00:08:26,281 --> 00:08:28,249
Nope.
190
00:08:28,316 --> 00:08:30,885
I drew them.
191
00:08:30,952 --> 00:08:33,020
Tv reporter:
We're two days away
from the final game
192
00:08:33,088 --> 00:08:36,190
of the regular season
and BMS fans are buzzing
193
00:08:36,258 --> 00:08:39,193
at the possibility
of an undefeated season.
194
00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:42,396
But the big news on campus
is that Radon Randell
195
00:08:42,464 --> 00:08:45,366
has been a no-show
at practice the past two days,
196
00:08:45,433 --> 00:08:48,335
putting sophomore Alex Moran
in the spotlight.
197
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:49,703
Back to you, Diane.
198
00:08:49,771 --> 00:08:52,106
Alex, you do
something to me.
199
00:08:52,174 --> 00:08:54,809
Well, if you call me after the game,
I will make sure that I do.
200
00:08:57,112 --> 00:08:59,046
This school is set
to explode, man.
201
00:08:59,114 --> 00:09:02,817
I know. And I am ready
to light the fuse.
202
00:09:02,884 --> 00:09:04,652
Any word from Radon?
203
00:09:04,719 --> 00:09:08,389
No, he hasn't
returned my calls.
204
00:09:08,456 --> 00:09:11,692
Are you feeling all right, Marty?
205
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,861
Yeah yeah, it's just
a little-- just hot out.
206
00:09:16,565 --> 00:09:18,833
'cause I am bringing home that w.
I guarantee it.
207
00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:20,835
( cheering )
208
00:09:20,902 --> 00:09:24,271
( groaning )
209
00:09:24,339 --> 00:09:26,140
Marty, Marty,
Marty, Marty!
210
00:09:26,208 --> 00:09:29,443
Somebody call
an ambulance! Help!
211
00:09:29,511 --> 00:09:33,314
Look, there he is--
dead meat.
212
00:09:33,381 --> 00:09:35,916
You pussy!
213
00:09:35,984 --> 00:09:37,751
Chuck?
214
00:09:42,490 --> 00:09:45,759
Chuck, Chuck! Hey, look,
Chuck, it's Sammy!
215
00:09:45,827 --> 00:09:48,796
Chuck, what in God's name are you
doing right now, man?
216
00:09:48,864 --> 00:09:50,664
Practicing my new move.
217
00:09:50,732 --> 00:09:52,633
I consider it the best fight move
in the world.
218
00:09:52,701 --> 00:09:55,636
Chuck, you gotta teach me that move,
man. Have a penis gobbler.
219
00:09:55,704 --> 00:09:58,539
– They're delicious.
– You're not ready for that move.
220
00:09:58,607 --> 00:10:01,442
Let's start small.
Ever been in a fight before?
221
00:10:01,509 --> 00:10:04,278
I haven't, Chuck.
But I'll do any-- Jesus!
222
00:10:04,346 --> 00:10:07,381
First rule in a fight,
don't get hit.
223
00:10:07,449 --> 00:10:08,949
Yeah, good to know, Chuck.
224
00:10:09,017 --> 00:10:11,518
Right after you punch me
in the face, you tell me that.
225
00:10:11,586 --> 00:10:14,488
– They are delicious, though.
– I told you they were good.
226
00:10:14,556 --> 00:10:16,290
Please don't die. Please don't die.
Please don't die. Please don't die.
227
00:10:16,358 --> 00:10:18,492
Whoa whoa whoa.
Family members only.
228
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:20,594
We're just gonna wait out here.
229
00:10:22,731 --> 00:10:25,099
I'm really scared you're
gonna lose this game for us.
230
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,468
You know you won't be able to show
your face at the school again, right?
231
00:10:27,535 --> 00:10:28,869
You're not helping right now.
232
00:10:28,937 --> 00:10:30,871
I'm just saying.
It's the media.
233
00:10:30,939 --> 00:10:33,274
Don't move. I have to check my hair
in the reflection in your eyes.
234
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,209
Don't move.
235
00:10:35,277 --> 00:10:38,279
Alex, Clay Travis, AOL Fanhouse,
how's your coach doing?
236
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,947
Well, he had a heart attack.
237
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:42,816
He's awake
and he's in good hands.
238
00:10:42,884 --> 00:10:45,319
Are you worried that if you lose
this game it might kill him?
239
00:10:45,387 --> 00:10:48,722
– I wasn't a minute ago. Jesus!
– I am.
240
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,629
You feel safe in here, don't you?
241
00:10:55,764 --> 00:10:59,233
I come here to think
and to party sometimes.
242
00:10:59,301 --> 00:11:02,236
You like it here because it represents
your mother's womb.
243
00:11:02,304 --> 00:11:05,039
So you mean to tell me
this whole time
244
00:11:05,106 --> 00:11:07,708
I've been partying
in my mom's vagina?
245
00:11:07,776 --> 00:11:11,145
Yes. Now I'm going to
rub your shoulder
246
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,881
and I'd want you to nurse from
my breast while I do it.
247
00:11:13,949 --> 00:11:17,017
You want me to do what?
248
00:11:17,085 --> 00:11:19,987
I'm going to present my breast
and I want you to nurse from it.
249
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,922
But I'm lactose intolerant.
250
00:11:21,990 --> 00:11:25,726
I'm not really lactating.
It's symbolic. Now go.
251
00:11:25,794 --> 00:11:27,861
Yes, ma'am.
252
00:11:31,366 --> 00:11:33,067
Go!
253
00:11:33,134 --> 00:11:36,570
Oh yeah!
Ooh yeah!
254
00:11:36,638 --> 00:11:38,472
Baby!
Whoo! Yeah!
255
00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:39,873
( cheering )
256
00:11:39,941 --> 00:11:43,010
Blue 16! Blue 16!
257
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,912
Hut! Hut!
258
00:11:52,954 --> 00:11:55,089
– Shake it off.
– It's okay, Alex.
259
00:11:55,156 --> 00:11:57,291
Kate and kara:
We still love you!
260
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:03,097
– What a pussy.
– Yeah.
261
00:12:03,164 --> 00:12:04,732
♪ any day
my ship could sink ♪
262
00:12:04,799 --> 00:12:07,735
♪ I've got nothing
to lose... ♪
263
00:12:07,802 --> 00:12:09,336
Come on, Chuck.
Come on!
264
00:12:09,404 --> 00:12:11,739
Chuck, okay, okay.
265
00:12:11,806 --> 00:12:14,541
– ( singing bms fight song )
– ( monitors beeping )
266
00:12:17,645 --> 00:12:21,382
I think it's time we both take
responsibility for what happened.
267
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:25,052
I shouldn't have hit
Radon like I did.
268
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,754
But now that I think about it,
he was in my zone.
269
00:12:26,821 --> 00:12:28,622
So that was his fault.
270
00:12:28,690 --> 00:12:30,958
Your turn.
271
00:12:31,026 --> 00:12:33,727
Are you kidding me?
This is completely your fault.
272
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:36,263
There wouldn't have been
an injury or a heart attack
273
00:12:36,331 --> 00:12:37,765
if you hadn't have hit Radon.
274
00:12:37,832 --> 00:12:40,200
Oh, there he is--
Mr. blame game.
275
00:12:40,268 --> 00:12:43,037
– So nice to see you again.
– Stop saying blame game.
276
00:12:43,104 --> 00:12:45,606
( moans )
277
00:12:45,673 --> 00:12:48,842
Look, maybe we can work
together to fix Radon.
278
00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:50,811
I vote we hit him again.
279
00:12:50,879 --> 00:12:52,713
My freshman year
I got hit in the nads so hard,
280
00:12:52,781 --> 00:12:54,681
they went up inside
my body for weeks.
281
00:12:54,749 --> 00:12:56,784
You know how I got those puppies
to drop back down again?
282
00:12:56,851 --> 00:12:59,953
– I have an idea, yeah.
– I told someone to hit me in the nads again.
283
00:13:00,021 --> 00:13:02,890
Look, I'm willing
to try anything, all right?
284
00:13:02,957 --> 00:13:05,325
Because the game starts
in 12 hours.
285
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:07,428
Are you sure that
this is gonna work?
286
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,696
I've never been more sure
of anything in my life.
287
00:13:09,764 --> 00:13:11,398
That's what I'm afraid of.
288
00:13:11,466 --> 00:13:14,868
This is stupid. Can I just suck
your titties again?
289
00:13:14,936 --> 00:13:17,604
We're never going to get anywhere
if you don't open up.
290
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:21,041
– Just tell me what you see.
– All right, fine.
291
00:13:21,109 --> 00:13:23,844
– They look like my coaches.
– Tell me about them.
292
00:13:23,912 --> 00:13:26,647
I see all my coaches.
293
00:13:26,714 --> 00:13:28,315
And they're just trying
294
00:13:28,383 --> 00:13:31,518
to exploit my athleticism.
295
00:13:31,586 --> 00:13:34,688
They don't care about me. They only
care about the touchdown factory.
296
00:13:34,756 --> 00:13:36,924
What's the touchdown factory?
297
00:13:36,991 --> 00:13:39,793
It's what I call my body.
( crying )
298
00:13:42,564 --> 00:13:44,731
I always thought
you had mommy issues.
299
00:13:44,799 --> 00:13:47,634
Now I realize you
have coach issues.
300
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,938
You need to tell
him how you feel.
301
00:13:51,005 --> 00:13:54,241
Can I offer you a blowjob
before you leave?
302
00:13:54,309 --> 00:13:56,977
If you think that it'd help me out
in this time of need,
303
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,546
I'll accept your offer.
304
00:13:59,746 --> 00:14:00,946
Good morning, Goat fans.
305
00:14:01,204 --> 00:14:04,906
We're just hours away from the
final game of the regular season.
306
00:14:05,074 --> 00:14:06,974
Can this team
finish undefeated
307
00:14:07,042 --> 00:14:09,277
without the arm
of Radon Randell
308
00:14:09,345 --> 00:14:11,813
or the leadership
of coach Marty Daniels?
309
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,049
– We'll find out today.
– Hey, Alex. Good luck with the game.
310
00:14:15,117 --> 00:14:18,519
– Yup.
– Hey, Alex, hey. We need to talk.
311
00:14:18,587 --> 00:14:20,955
I can't talk right now.
I have a perfect season to ruin.
312
00:14:21,023 --> 00:14:22,957
If we win tonight, are you gonna
bang the head cheerleaders?
313
00:14:23,025 --> 00:14:24,792
I don't know.
Maybe. I don't know.
314
00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:26,961
Okay, well, what if we lose?
315
00:14:27,029 --> 00:14:28,963
If we lose, I'll have to
transfer schools.
316
00:14:29,031 --> 00:14:31,466
Just so you know,
I'd go with you.
317
00:14:31,533 --> 00:14:34,302
Great. Thank you. That's exactly
what I need to hear right now.
318
00:14:34,370 --> 00:14:35,870
Thank you.
I'll talk to you later.
319
00:14:35,938 --> 00:14:37,739
Good to know
you're an asshole.
320
00:14:40,209 --> 00:14:41,843
Is this pussy gonna
show or what?
321
00:14:44,346 --> 00:14:46,748
This pussy showed up
all right.
322
00:14:46,815 --> 00:14:48,883
And he's gonna kick
some ass.
323
00:14:48,951 --> 00:14:50,752
Becca, you blew this guy?
324
00:14:50,819 --> 00:14:54,122
What do you want me to say?
His penis tasted like cherries.
325
00:14:54,189 --> 00:14:56,958
Before we get started,
I'd just like to let you know
326
00:14:57,025 --> 00:14:59,394
that I've been getting
personally trained by this guy--
327
00:14:59,461 --> 00:15:01,062
Chuck «The Iceman» Liddell.
328
00:15:01,130 --> 00:15:02,563
( crowd laughing )
329
00:15:02,631 --> 00:15:04,165
Really?
Chuck Liddell?
330
00:15:05,634 --> 00:15:07,668
That's good.
331
00:15:07,736 --> 00:15:09,971
You believe these guys, Ch--
Chuck, where'd you go?
332
00:15:10,038 --> 00:15:12,373
– You were just right here.
– Sammy, I'm here.
333
00:15:12,441 --> 00:15:14,075
But you're the only
one who can see me.
334
00:15:14,143 --> 00:15:15,777
What? Bullshit!
335
00:15:15,844 --> 00:15:17,478
The blonde girl was right.
336
00:15:17,546 --> 00:15:19,781
Those penis gobblers you've
been eating, they're expired.
337
00:15:21,617 --> 00:15:23,484
You've been hallucinating.
338
00:15:27,089 --> 00:15:28,656
Chuck:
That wasn't me you
met at the bar.
339
00:15:28,724 --> 00:15:30,892
Oh my god. Alex, look!
It's Chuck Liddell.
340
00:15:30,959 --> 00:15:33,795
– Right.
– Wow, man.
341
00:15:33,862 --> 00:15:35,830
Big fan of yours.
342
00:15:35,898 --> 00:15:37,231
Chuck:
And it wasn't me
who's been training you.
343
00:15:37,299 --> 00:15:39,634
Yeah, buddy, whoo!
344
00:15:39,701 --> 00:15:41,536
Chuck:
You've been alone
this whole time.
345
00:15:41,603 --> 00:15:44,772
What a pussy.
346
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,774
Chuck:
You couldn't handle
being called a pussy.
347
00:15:46,842 --> 00:15:49,043
You knew you couldn't win
the fight on your own,
348
00:15:49,111 --> 00:15:51,546
so you created me
as your courage.
349
00:15:51,613 --> 00:15:54,015
Oh shit!
350
00:15:54,082 --> 00:15:56,117
Man on radio:
I just don't think
Alex Moran can do it.
351
00:15:56,185 --> 00:15:58,486
He sucked in the Cypress bowl
last year and he--
352
00:15:58,554 --> 00:16:00,755
( turns radio off )
353
00:16:00,823 --> 00:16:02,690
( sighs )
354
00:16:02,758 --> 00:16:05,626
Hey, Mia, I could use
a little mothering right now.
355
00:16:05,694 --> 00:16:09,330
First things first. Radon has
something he'd like to share.
356
00:16:09,398 --> 00:16:11,032
Go ahead.
What do you have to say?
357
00:16:12,835 --> 00:16:15,403
Okay, my coaches
358
00:16:15,471 --> 00:16:17,705
have always been like my dads.
359
00:16:17,773 --> 00:16:21,142
Like, they took care of me. They took
me places. They bought me shit.
360
00:16:21,210 --> 00:16:23,044
But you're not like that.
361
00:16:23,111 --> 00:16:26,514
If I get hurt or injured,
362
00:16:26,582 --> 00:16:28,516
you're gonna just drop me
363
00:16:28,584 --> 00:16:31,085
and I'm never
gonna see you again.
364
00:16:31,153 --> 00:16:34,388
So that's why
I don't wanna play.
365
00:16:34,456 --> 00:16:36,524
You know, Radon,
366
00:16:36,592 --> 00:16:38,860
there's something I've
been meaning to tell you,
367
00:16:38,927 --> 00:16:41,496
something I wish I would
have told you days ago.
368
00:16:41,563 --> 00:16:44,065
You're being a pussy.
369
00:16:44,132 --> 00:16:47,134
I'm being a what?
370
00:16:47,202 --> 00:16:49,437
Did you just hear
what he just said to me?
371
00:16:49,505 --> 00:16:52,874
Yes, I agree.
You're being a gigantic pussy.
372
00:16:52,941 --> 00:16:55,109
I'm being a pussy?
373
00:16:55,177 --> 00:16:58,379
He's being a pussy.
He's the one in the hospital bed.
374
00:16:58,447 --> 00:17:00,548
I just had a freakin'
heart attack, you pussy.
375
00:17:00,616 --> 00:17:02,283
Man, stop calling
me a pussy, you pussy.
376
00:17:02,351 --> 00:17:04,552
You're the one that got all the stuff
hanging out your chest, man.
377
00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:05,720
Don't call me no pussy
no more.
378
00:17:05,787 --> 00:17:07,655
Oh, you wanna play that game?
379
00:17:07,723 --> 00:17:09,190
Okay.
( groaning )
380
00:17:09,258 --> 00:17:11,225
Radon, you need
to decide right now.
381
00:17:11,293 --> 00:17:13,661
Do you want to spend the rest of
your life sucking on mommy's titties
382
00:17:13,729 --> 00:17:17,565
like a little pussy? Or do you want
to play football like a man
383
00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:20,234
and maybe suck on some
cheerleader titties?
384
00:17:20,302 --> 00:17:22,837
Hey, I'm walking out
of this hospital
385
00:17:22,905 --> 00:17:25,139
and right onto the sidelines.
386
00:17:25,207 --> 00:17:27,241
And you're too much
of a pussy to ever do that.
387
00:17:27,309 --> 00:17:30,578
I'll walk out on the sidelines
right now with you, you pussy.
388
00:17:30,646 --> 00:17:33,414
– Let's friggin' go then.
– Well, let's go then.
389
00:17:33,482 --> 00:17:35,016
Chuck, how can you
do this to me?
390
00:17:35,083 --> 00:17:37,451
Who's this idiot talking to?
391
00:17:37,519 --> 00:17:39,554
You were supposed to teach me
the best fight move in the world.
392
00:17:39,621 --> 00:17:41,222
Sammy, you created me.
393
00:17:41,290 --> 00:17:43,658
That means you created the best
fight move in the world too.
394
00:17:46,428 --> 00:17:48,362
What in God's name are you
doing right now, man?
395
00:17:48,430 --> 00:17:50,431
Practicing my new move.
396
00:17:50,499 --> 00:17:52,800
I consider it the best
fight move in the world.
397
00:17:52,868 --> 00:17:54,869
Come on, Kyle.
Put him in a body bag.
398
00:17:54,937 --> 00:17:57,371
Let's do this, man.
Bring it on, pussy.
399
00:17:57,439 --> 00:17:59,373
I like you, Sammy.
I always have.
400
00:17:59,441 --> 00:18:02,276
( snaps fingers )
Always will.
401
00:18:02,344 --> 00:18:04,178
I like you too, Chuck.
402
00:18:07,349 --> 00:18:10,785
Okay, listen up.
403
00:18:10,852 --> 00:18:13,854
«In any man's finest hour,
404
00:18:13,922 --> 00:18:16,490
he must rise to the challenges
in his path.»
405
00:18:19,861 --> 00:18:22,964
He's not coming. No, we're screwed.
I'm sure I'm screwed.
406
00:18:23,031 --> 00:18:24,498
«Glory comes to the man...»
407
00:18:24,566 --> 00:18:26,434
It's over. I should learn
these plays.
408
00:18:26,501 --> 00:18:28,669
Oh shit.
Where the hell's Thad?
409
00:18:28,737 --> 00:18:30,705
«What he does--»
Marty!
410
00:18:30,772 --> 00:18:33,007
– Ha ha!
– Radon.
411
00:18:33,075 --> 00:18:35,076
Who's ready to win
a football game, baby?
412
00:18:35,143 --> 00:18:36,711
( cheering )
413
00:18:36,778 --> 00:18:39,814
– Get suited up, Radon.
– I'm back, baby.
414
00:18:39,881 --> 00:18:43,217
– I'm back!
– Thank God!
415
00:18:43,285 --> 00:18:46,187
I'm back, baby.
I'm back, man!
416
00:18:47,556 --> 00:18:51,225
I'm back, baby!
417
00:18:51,293 --> 00:18:54,095
♪ that's the only way to go, I hope
you know what you're talking about ♪
418
00:18:54,162 --> 00:18:56,530
♪ 'cause I get my hustle on,
dawg, that's what I'm about ♪
419
00:18:56,598 --> 00:18:58,232
♪ get your hustle
on, dawg ♪
420
00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:01,102
♪ that's what it's about
and keep it rolling, man ♪
421
00:19:01,169 --> 00:19:03,504
♪ you gotta be up on it,
that's the only way to go now ♪
422
00:19:03,572 --> 00:19:05,806
♪ know what
you're talking about ♪
423
00:19:05,874 --> 00:19:07,908
♪ but I get my hustle on,
dawg, that's what I'm about ♪
424
00:19:07,976 --> 00:19:09,744
♪ get your hustle
on, dawg ♪
425
00:19:09,811 --> 00:19:11,646
♪ that's what it's about
and keep it rolling, man ♪
426
00:19:11,713 --> 00:19:14,582
♪ you gotta be up on it,
that's the only way to go ♪
427
00:19:14,650 --> 00:19:16,917
♪ I hope you know what
you're talking about ♪
428
00:19:16,985 --> 00:19:19,654
♪ 'cause I get my hustle on,
dawg, that's what I'm about ♪
429
00:19:19,721 --> 00:19:21,455
♪ get your hustle
on, dawg ♪
430
00:19:21,523 --> 00:19:23,824
♪ that's what it's about
and keep it rolling, man ♪
431
00:19:23,892 --> 00:19:26,127
♪ you gotta get it on, and that's for sure,
know what I'm talking about? ♪
432
00:19:26,194 --> 00:19:29,430
Yeah, suck on that, you pussy.
433
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,035
( groans )
434
00:19:34,102 --> 00:19:37,705
Did we do it, Chuck?
Did we win?
435
00:19:37,773 --> 00:19:40,141
You gotta lay off those
penis gobblers, my man.
436
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:45,851
– Get off him! Radon.
437
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:47,619
( Radon screams )
438
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,956
– Are you freakin' crazy?
– Marty, your heart.
439
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:53,992
He's cured now, coach.
You're welcome.
440
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:56,495
Oh, my shoulder.
441
00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:58,330
He's really hurt this time.
442
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:03,235
No no no no.
Shit shit shit.
443
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:07,439
– Our plan didn't work out, bro.
– No shit!
444
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:08,940
Let's go get 'em.
445
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:11,176
And no pressure, but if
you lose this game...
446
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:12,611
Both:
coach is probably gonna die.
447
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:15,847
– I know. I got it.
– I believe in you, Moran,
448
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:18,750
mostly because
I don't have a choice.
449
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:22,421
Don't let all of us down.
450
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:23,955
Oh.
451
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,961
This is hell.
452
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,331
Aw shit.
453
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:36,101
Okay, let's do this.
454
00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:44,443
( mutters )
455
00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:48,113
Oh, shit.
Оглавление:
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Перевод
- Перевод:
- субтитры с английского на русский
- Создан:
- 22 января 2011, владелец: cetver
- Права доступа:
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