Онаним / Onanym: Фильм первый

...so, that is all of funny.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 09:02

So what? What kind of an office monkey are not jerking
off on the regular basis?

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:40

Yep, they all do. When you have to stare at the laptop
the whole day at …the work in progress…

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:40

You’d get excited! So what can I do? I need some
sort of release. I can’t go home…

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:41

Fuck!

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:41

Sasha? Great!

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:41

Wait a minute! You are IT guy,
but you talk like an office bunny.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:42

Oh, come on. By the way, do you know why I am not able to log in on
Odnokalssniki and Vkontakte from here? (my facebook isn’t working)

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:42

As far as I know it was the boss’s order.
But you are a gown up, are you?
Do you really think I come here to work?

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:43

Sasha, don’t be an ass. It’s the very first rule!
Come on, be a sport, go wash your sweater,
comb your beard and turn everything back on.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:43

Tell him to fuck off. Tell him if he’s gonna
be a jerk we are gonna pee on his server.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:43

Sasha, shut up. We are not laughing here.
We really are capable of that. We really can fill your toys with urine.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:44

That Sashs is a real asshole.
That fuckhead is always being a dick, jerk.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:44

That stinky bastard smells like old socks.
Sometimes I think I can feel that smell when I talk to him on the phone.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:44

Because there are so many jerks like him, the world sucks.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:45

Did you forget the sigarettes?

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:45

Nope, right here, I thought I forgot them.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:45

Holy fuck!

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:45

What happened?

paushu_ruslan 02.12.11 в 16:08

I have a tic because of this shit.
I don’t wanna feel like crap because of that.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:46

- What?
- What? Are you gonna tell me?

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:47

- I’m freaking out a little
- Why did you ask me to come?

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:47

That jerk said my dick is too small!

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:48

Oh come on, I knew you were gonna laught.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:48

Oh, I’m sorry, It won’t happen again. Come tell me.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:48

There is nothing to tell, really. I just took my pants
off and that asshole told me right to my face “you have a small dick!”.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:48

What are you laughing at?

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:48

Why wouldn’t I laugh when
you are so intimate with him.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:49

With whom?

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:49

With Sasha, the IT guy!

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:49

What IT guy? I was talking about my girlfriend.
The first time we did it.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:49

Dude, you won’t believe that, but that’s the first time
I got what brain fuck really means.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:50

I was really picturing you standing in front of the
IT guy with your pants off and he was like “that’s not big enough!”

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:50

You are having an awesome day.
Is it really that small?

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:50

It’s normal.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:50

Come on, chill out!

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:51

Not funny.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:51

Yep, it’s not much fun.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:51

I mean if it’s really the case.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:51

So after that, I got paranoid and I was thinking
everybody hints I have a small dick.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:51

Like everywhere I look, there’re signs, like they are mocking me.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:52

He wispers “ you have a small thing”.
And the janitor is holding a broom just to show the tip.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:52

And the secretary is showing me her little finger,
and the accountants are talking about their miniature cactuses…

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:53

I saw around ten mini Coopers today!

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:53

Is it supposed to be funny?

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:53

Why not? It’s quite useful.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:54

It’s such a cliché. Kindergarden.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:54

Just accept it. That’s it.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:55

It’s just a gift. All guys are giving it to each other.

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:55

Is it in inches, isn’t it?

paushu_ruslan 05.12.11 в 08:55