Тейлор Поттер и философский виал / Taylor Potter and the Philosophical Vial: Глава 10. Два одиночества

Chapter 10. Two Solitudes
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Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 17:44

By New Year's, Taylor realized that Wormwarts had completely ceased to be a magical place for her. All those technological marvels, all those superpowers — it all seemed empty and unnecessary. Using her own superpower brought back sad memories and almost disgust, as if she'd been transformed back into an ordinary person, one who regarded insects with disgust and revulsion. She cleared out the artificial insect nests on three of Eidolorin's "defense" lines, but didn't tell Lisa.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:58

None of the three of them spoke to each other these days, and Victoria became distant, like a stranger. Wandering the corridors of Wormwarts, Taylor couldn't shake the feeling that the school was pushing her away, trying to shake her off like a foreign element. It was exhausting and debilitating, and Taylor tried to forget and distract herself, but she couldn't. Everything around her reminded her of the wonderful times that had come before.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:58

School, friends, miracles, fun, and mysteries—it all seemed alien now, as if it weren't happening to Taylor, as if Potter herself had watched a film about another girl's life and was now trying to play her role. It was stupid and delusional, but there was no one to support Taylor with words or advice, and she didn't want to go to the teachers. She felt especially ashamed in front of Professor Niceguy, who had taught them so much about teamwork. Why, Taylor had been convinced they had a team! An unbreakable, strong team, which, upon closer inspection, turned out to be made of glass, shattered by the slightest nudge from life.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:59

And so after the New Year, Taylor went to visit Hagrid.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:47

Rachel wasn't easy to talk to, and she could be a bit strange at times, but you could always come visit. Or rather, not really. If Hagrid considered you one of her own, you could just come and live with her, if you wanted. Now, as she walked down the snowy path to Rachel's hut, adjacent to her kennel, Taylor seriously considered just that: up and move in with Hagrid! The snowy Forbidden Forest all around, no insects, no Wormwarts, nothing else. No Lisa's smirk and attentive gaze, no Amy's sad puppy eyes and sighs, no Victoria, with her fanaticism and immodest enthusiasm.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 22:04

Manipulation, manipulation everywhere!

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 22:04

Rachel wasn't home, but Taylor, knowing the routine, simply walked inside. She wandered around for a while, taking in the furnishings and photographs on the walls, but it didn't last long. The house was simple and reliable, like Hagrid herself, and the photographs of the various dogs were monotonous, even the one of Rachel hugging Fluffy's three heads with her muscular arms.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 22:06

Taylor pulled out a cauldron of thick stew and began heating it over the fire in the fireplace. Simply because it suited the surroundings better, it occupied the time, and, frankly, it awakened something primal within Potter. Adding more wood to the fire, Taylor stared at the flames, feeling herself slipping into a kind of trance, her mind emptying, her mind swamped by the delicious smell of rich meat stew, her drooling uncontrollably… the smell!

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 22:07

Taylor jumped up, nearly knocking over her cauldron, and began hastily removing it, burning herself. And of course, in the midst of all this fuss, Hagrid arrived! Taylor was about to apologize, but one look at Rachel was enough to understand: the Keeper of Wormwarts's lands and beasts was overcome with sorrows greater than any Potter had ever experienced. Her snow-covered and icy face was contorted with agony, pain, and suffering. Rachel threw off her mittens with a clatter and thud, removed her ice-covered, frozen hat and coat, and slammed her shoes against the wall, creating a couple of snowdrifts at the entrance.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 22:09

Without saying a word, Hagrid took the cauldron from Taylor and said.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 22:09

"Get lost."

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:48

"But..."

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:47

"Get lost!" Rachel growled, turning around.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 22:14

Taylor didn't remember jumping outside, flying straight into a snowdrift. Floundering in the snow, she heard howling and thumping coming from the house. The next second, she realized Hagrid was in her hut, kicking the dogs in the pen, punching the stones of the walls and floor. What could have happened... but Taylor immediately realized she didn't want to find out. Hagrid's words, "Get lost!" rang in her ears, and the young Potter, checking her glasses, wandered away. On the Quidditch pitch, still torn up and plowed, a pair of construction machines were slowly and deliberately busy, and Taylor suddenly felt a strong urge to throw her head back and howl like Hagrid.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 22:47

The joy drained from life, which had suddenly transformed from a wonderful adventure into a grueling struggle. The minutes dragged on slowly and drearily, turning into tedious hours and even more tedious days. Lisa became distant, Amy didn't speak, Victoria didn't hang around her neck, and Taylor suddenly found herself in a void. The students continued to ignore her, and the fact that the strange incidents and attacks had ceased only strengthened their resolve. The "gang" led by Amy, Taylor, and Lisa had yet to suffer a defeat at the hands of other students in Flitwick and Snape's classes, solely because of Potter. Quidditch and training were cancelled, according to the official statement, "until the field systems were fully repaired," and Taylor tried to maintain her Tactician form, at least in this way, against paper plans, electronic forms, and rumors.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 23:04

But all of this was just an imitation, a weak semblance, incapable of bringing true satisfaction. The cancellation of Quidditch left a void around Taylor, cutting her off from everyone, even the team. Ray Sprout, having lost his beloved combat tree and strictly forbidden from growing another, became distracted and behaved strangely in horticulture lessons. In Hannah's lessons, Taylor mechanically assembled and disassembled weapons, mechanically answering questions, halfheartedly grateful for something to occupy her hands. Things were no better in Survival, and Defense Against the Dark Powers was out of the question—teamwork was out of the question.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 23:05

"The Dark Cape books?" Jess Binns asked, her expression instantly becoming understanding.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:44

Frankly, Taylor was glad of it. She had neither the desire nor the energy to explain the true nature of her "interest" in the Dark Capes. She put it in quotes because it wasn't really an interest, more a mishmash of attempts to occupy her mind and distract herself, the consequences of past events, and the fact that Lisa wasn't on the team. Only now, alone, did Taylor realize how many questions and problems Granger had solved so effortlessly, playfully, and naturally that even the thought of "Oh, that's a problem!" hadn't even crossed her mind.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 23:07

So if Professor Binns decided that Potter's interest in Dark Capes stemmed from Taylor's past, then so be it. No further explanation is needed, and the fact that Taylor is unlikely to find what Lisa missed in the books — well, at least the time will pass faster. I guess.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 23:07

"Okay," Jess gestured a few times across her tablet screen. "Here, start with these three public domain books; they'll help you gain a general understanding of the subject and decide which direction you want to go. And, we'll be covering Eden de Wald next year; you can check out the third-year textbook; I've given you access to it in the library."

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 23:08

"Thank you, Professor Binns," Taylor replied.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:39

Her tablet screen displayed the titles of three books recommended by her Cape History professor: "The Dark Capes: Rise and Fall," "The Birth of Cape Society," and "The 100 Greatest Events of the 20th Century."

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:43

It wasn't that the books were a panacea for everything, but they had at least provoked a reaction from her friends... ex-friends, Taylor mentally corrected herself. More precisely, only one of them, "The Rise of Cape Society," had provoked a reaction, most likely because it was a paper. And thick. And old. Still, there were reactions — even if they weren't particularly pleasant (Amy frowned, Lisa grinned silently) that was a step forward. Taylor hadn't yet decided whether the battle to restore their friendship was worth it, but if she had to, she'd already made a start.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:44

And the books could not be called completely useless.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:35

The history of the capes, especially the earliest ones, was a terrifying mixture of fear, rage, misunderstanding, and the struggle for a place in the sun. The crisis in Europe had been brewing for some time, but only the emergence of the Capes provided the necessary impetus, and World War I began. For a time, everything calmed down, both because many died, because the Founders intervened, demonstrating their power, and because the human states had no time to concern themselves with the incomprehensible capes.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:36

As a result, unresolved issues and problems remained on both the human and cape sides, all of which escalated, intensified, and intertwined, leading to the Second World War and Eden de Wald, which, in fact, gave rise to the entire Dark Cape problem. The power, or rather, the many powers within one person, made her Dark. Why Eidolon wasn't considered a Dark Cape, Taylor never understood, and books aimed at children, for the masses, avoided such issues. Or smoothed out the corners.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:37

At the same time, it was Eden who essentially defined the current face of Cape society, as the struggle against her revealed and exposed many dangers, demonstrating the depth and power of the problems and the Capes who took on the task of solving them through battle. Taylor also understood the rise of superhero culture and comics after World War II as a holistic solution to several problems: the obfuscation and concealment of the true state of affairs, the indoctrination and formation of a certain mentality in children so that the shock of cape society would be less severe later on, and the slow remoralization of society as a whole, weakening or mitigating potential problems should it suddenly come to the point where capes are forced to emerge from their pocket dimensions—enclaves and live among humans.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:38

And the real shock for Taylor was that Dark Cape Zion de Mort was initially considered a hero, perhaps the most powerful of heroes, and many seriously believed in his good intentions and that he would lead Cape society to new heights of prosperity. True, Taylor never solved the mystery of the Dimension of Secrets, but she was nonetheless enriched by new knowledge, and the gray, dreary, empty days truly did pass, just a little bit, but still faster.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:39

At the end of January, Professor Niceguy asked Taylor to stay after her DADP class.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 22:51

"Tell me, Miss Potter," said Lockhart, "has something happened to you?"

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:34

The professor himself didn't look his best, either, as if something were gnawing at him from within, and he was working long and hard to rid himself of his worries and fears. This realization awakened in Taylor a feeling of sympathy and a sense of connection, even a kinship. She liked Niceguy, but this was something else, not a physical attraction, but rather an understanding through personal experience. Taylor also suddenly thought that Lockhart must be struggling with all this attention and admiration, and this added a peculiar note of sympathy, as the fame of "The Girl Who Lived" periodically bit Potter in the ass, surfacing at the most inopportune moments or acting as an argument where it only made matters worse.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 22:52

So Taylor plucked up her courage and told Lockhart her story frankly.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:28

"Yes, it's sad when friends turn their backs on you," Niceguy said sincerely. "I won't tell you not to worry, because that's impossible, but I will try to do something to fix the situation."

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:35

"Teamwork doesn't work in class, Professor," Taylor sighed.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 22:53

"It just means you need to come up with something different," Lockhart smiled. "Never settle for just one method, Taylor; variety is the key to true power, and if you settle on one or two techniques, sooner or later it will fail you."

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:27

Taylor nodded in response. Carlos had described something similar, and the books even mentioned it, as "one-trick capes" — those who had two or three moves at their disposal, either because of limitations of powers or because they wanted to master them, or both. Their moves would eventually reveal weaknesses, and then such masters would be easily and effortlessly defeated. Carlos Wood, of course, had described all this in the context of Quidditch, but it was easy to imagine something similar in real life. Now, having become more familiar with the workings of Cape society, Taylor could easily picture such a scenario.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:27

"Thank you, Professor," Taylor replied.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 19:44

As she left Lockhart's office, she caught Amy's suspicious gaze and turned away with a twitch of her cheek.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 19:45

Amy, realizing her mistake, bit her lip in frustration, but it was too late. Now Taylor would think Amy had been spying on her, and in fact, part of it was, but how could she explain it? How could she even explain it in words? Lisa might have managed, but Granger had withdrawn and was now wandering alone, like that cat. Amy even considered, in moments of despair, actually turning Lisa, if not into a cat, then at least growing her fur, and then anonymously reporting it to Doctor Pomfrey. Wormwarts' systems were now working funny with Amy's malfunctioning tablet. Imaginary images of the Doctor pulling Lisa by the tail and stuffing her with potions amused Amy, but only briefly.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 19:46

She didn't transform anyone, of course, and returned to her gloomy, lonely existence. The most frustrating thing was that Amy's power did not affect her. She'd removed Victoria's compulsion and obsession, simultaneously breaking her own vow not to influence her mind, and now she was suffering, as luck would have it, just when she was left without friends who could help her. And were they really friends, if Taylor had subdued her and forced her to influence her, forcibly compelling her to break that very same prohibition?

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 19:48

She was left without a family, in a sense, because Lisa's words about Amy being adopted... oh, it was a cruel, yet bearable blow, but the fact that Carol, Eric, and Crystal knew about it—that's what finished her off and broke her, leaving her with a feeling of betrayal and a stab in the back. How and why she came to this conclusion, Amy herself couldn't have answered, but as a result, she was left alone. No family, no friends, and Amy herself was afraid to approach Vicki.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 19:49

Not because she was ashamed of what she'd done, although she was, but because Vicki's influence hadn't gone away. Taylor and Lisa had somehow shaken it off, freed themselves, and Amy acted as if she'd shaken off Vicki's influence, too, but in reality, things were far more tragic. Victoria's aura was still there, inspiring adoration for Taylor, that traitor and enslaver... and also reminding them of what Amy herself had done.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:25

She did it consciously, and there is no need to hide behind excuses regarding Taylor.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 21:25

Amy's clearing of Vicki's mind from the harmful influence of others didn't solve the problem; it only distanced it, and in a perverse sense, even intensified it. For having consciously violated a prohibition once, she would have been much more willing to break it a second time, and wouldn't have even considered it a third time. Touch Victoria, touch Taylor, touch Lisa, touch everyone else, reclaiming everything—love, friends, family—while completely violating and destroying all her moral principles.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 19:25

One step down the slippery slope and that's it, you're rolling into a pit of mud or worse.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 19:25

There was only one benefit to all this: Amy's sway from Professor Lockhart's influence faded. In fact, she only became aware of its influence after she had freed herself from it, under the influence of Vicky's aura. Taylor's fanatical adoration, instilled in her younger, not-quite-now sister, overwhelmed the power of Niceguy, but that didn't make things any easier. So, she realized it, so what? The realization didn't change the fact that Amy had transgressed her own inhibitions, cast aside her vow, and immediately lost her friends and family. The immorality and other aspects of Vicky's aura contributed to the tangle of neuroses and despair into which Amy had become over the past month.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 19:36

Actually, Amy didn't think Professor Niceguy was up to no good; it was just... he was clearly doing something else besides the DADP. He often visited the center of the Sphere, where some massive construction work was going on, and he was plotting something against Taylor. Probably.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 19:19

“I’m a cape, I have to fight,” Amy muttered under her breath in confusion and sighed heavily, not knowing how or what to do.

Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 19:15

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Camrad_RIP 22.01.26 в 19:15