ShaRiRash: переводы

→With one final bending, breaking, tearing cry, that armored shell gave way, and the hilltop collapsed inward like the hoof of an angry goddess. Finally, I thought… annihilated with a smile.

→The halls of 99 echoed around me with the screams of a dying stable as I lay in the center of the atrium. A thousand years seemed to pass, the wall rusting before my eyes, the bodies mouldering, liquefying, black fungus spreading from their corpses as the metal pitted and corroded. Acidic water hissed and bubbled in pools that slowly ate their way through the floor and covered the walls in a caustic sheen.

→“This is the greatest day ever! We need to celebrate your birthday, babies, ‘cause you were just born today!”

→Was it my imagination, or did that lump under the sheets give a soft snort of outrage?

→Vanity sighed, making a face of annoyed resignation. “Good Goddesses, pull yourself together. If anypony sees you like this, they’re never going to stop talking!” He herded the exhausted, frazzled-looking Blueblood out the door. “Now, get some sleep, get something to eat, and, above all… wash. Then we’ll schedule a proper grooming. You simply have to put her behind you. She’s just one silly old mare who can’t appreciate you.”

→Blueblood seemed completely oblivious to both Vanity’s comment and the ball under the covers as he threw his forelegs wide. “She’s gone, Vanity! She was here, right here in Hoofington, at some tawdry shop. And then she was gone!”

→The emerald-maned buck shook himself and rubbed his temples. “So nice to see you’re back from Canterlot early. You know, even the Princesses don’t attend to others in their beds, Blueblood. If the manor isn’t aflame, then can this please wait for later?” The mare looked as if she was attempting to dig through the mattress to escape.

→I’d never really seen him up close pre-ghoulification before, but Blueblood was clearly a suave-looking buck, even if he was more than twice my age. Right now though, he was a complete mess, his mane long and straggly and his eyes bloodshot. He smelled of stale grapes and pony sweat. “Vanity! Are you here? Vanity!”

→Finally--really, three times?--finally, they rolled off each other, and a shimmer of blue swept the drapes back to reveal the bedroom. The mare gave a groan of complete delight as she lay back in the sheets. He started to kiss along her pale neck, but then the doors banged open. Like magic, the mare was transformed into a ball underneath the sheets as Blueblood stomped in.

→Cheque please. Why wasn’t there a cancel feature on memory orbs?

→Soft sheets. Green velvet drapes around the bed. A very nice-smelling mare. And two ponies having a very good time. I gave a mental roll of my eye and did my best to think of the Ironshod Firearms catalogue. Okay, IF-80 is a twenty gauge… nope, that’s a twelve gauge… shotgun. Pump… action. Shoots a variety of ammo types including… buckshot… Sweet Celestia, shoot me now. Why on earth was he licking… oh… okay… that’s new…

→Okay… not quite what I was expecting.

→oooOOOooo

→The shimmering image seemed to consider him before responding. “I am Professor Zodiac. What you’re looking at is a arcane projection. A nice little modification of the planetarium system developed by Flash Industries. It’s a pleasant way for me to have conversations with ponies.” She gave a little shudder I nearly missed. “As for how I know… well… I was there two hundred years ago.” She looked right into my eyes and gave an apologetic little smile. “I was one of the research leads of the Office of Interministry Affairs.”

→I looked at the shimmering projection, the others followed my gaze, and then P-21 asked the questions on all our minds. ”What are you, and how do you know all this?”

→The Professor shrugged. “They were used to working for Celestia too. They expected straightforward deals from their ruler. Friendship. Trust.” She sighed and shook her head. “Luna respected the Ministry Mares and their capabilities, but... really, I was always shocked they were sucked in as readily as they were. They really seemed to believe Luna was their friend. I doubt that the Princess ever had a real friend.”

→“But you can’t tell me the Ministry Mares were okay with that!” Glory protested as I slumped against her shoulder. Had she always smelled this good?

→The Professor chuckled softly. “Oh, Goldenblood was a sneaky bastard, but, really, back then, most ponies didn’t think about things like that. They were used to a thousand years of Celestia running things. Celestia was always open and honest. Luna’s government was as different as night from day, using deception and obfuscation to keep ponies confused and obedient. And Goldenblood knew all the loopholes, tricks, and intricacies. After all, he helped Luna set them up.” She rubbed her ghostly chin. “And I suspect that Luna herself enjoyed the games on some level.”

→“But how could the O.I.A. pull off such a widespread deception?” P-21 asked. “Didn’t anypony think to check what he was up to?”

→A few hours later, their questions for me were exhausted, as was I. I’d told them every bit I could think of about Goldenblood, the O.I.A., and the projects. The only things I omitted were Gardens of Equestria and Spike. The Professor, using more robots, had brought drinks and snacks, playing the part of the contrite host. My friends’ reactions varied from worried, to baffled, to suspicious, to bored, to angry. I never expected Lacunae to be the angry one. “That… that fiend. That plotter! That… oooh… the Goddess does not want to hear any more!”