bes_smusla: переводы

→House: I don’t think it’s a tumor.
Foreman: First year of medical school if you hear hoof beets you think horses not zebras.
House: Are you in first year of medical school? No. First of all, there’s nothing on the CAT scan. Second of all, if this is a horse then the kindly family doctor in Trenton makes the obvious diagnosis and it never gets near this office. Differential diagnosis, people: if it’s not a tumor what are the suspects? Why couldn’t she talk?
Chase: Aneurysm, stroke, or some other ischemic syndrome.
House: Get her a contrast MRI.
Cameron: Creutzfeld-Jakob disease.
Chase: Mad cow?
House: Mad zebra.
Foreman: Wernickie's encephalopathy?
House: No, blood thiamine level was normal.
Foreman: Lab in Trenton could have screwed up the blood test. I assume it’s a corollary if people lie, that people screw up.
House: Re-draw the blood tests. And get her scheduled for that contrast MRI ASAP. Let’s find out what kind of zebra we’re dealing with here.

→Cameron: Dr. House doesn’t like dealing with patients.
Foreman: Isn’t treating patients why we became doctors?
House: No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors, treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.
Foreman: So you’re trying to eliminate the humanity from the practice of medicine.
House: If you don’t talk to them they can’t lie to us, and we can’t lie to them. Humanity is overrated.

→Foreman: It’s a lesion.
House: And the big green thing in the middle of the bigger blue thing on a map is an island. I was hoping for something a bit more creative.
Foreman: Shouldn’t we be speaking to the patient before we start diagnosing?
House: Is she a doctor?
Foreman: No, but
House: Everybody lies.

→Wilson: Protein markers for the three most prevalent brain cancers came up negative.
House: That’s an HMO lab; you might as well have sent it to a high school kid with a chemistry set.
Wilson: No family history.
House: I thought your uncle died of cancer.
Wilson: Other side. No environmental factors.
House: That you know of.
Wilson: And she’s not responding to radiation treatment.
House: None of which is even close to dispositive. All it does is raise one question. Your cousin goes to an HMO?
Wilson: Come on! Why leave all the fun for the coroner? What’s the point of putting together a team if you’re not going to use them? You’ve go three overqualified doctors working for you. Getting bored.

→Wilson: The 29 year old female
House: The one who can’t talk, I liked that part.
Wilson: She’s my cousin.
House: And your cousin doesn’t like the diagnosis. I wouldn’t either. Brain tumor, she’s gonna die, boring.
Wilson: No wonder you’re such a renowned diagnostician. You don’t need to actually know anything to figure out what’s wrong.
House: You’re the oncologist; I’m just a lowly infectious disease guy.
Wilson: Hah, yes, just a simple country doctor. Brain tumors at her age are highly unlikely.
House: She’s 29. Whatever she’s got is highly unlikely.