violectra: переводы

→Nice Guys avoid conflict. Nice Guys seek to keep their world smooth. To do this, they avoid doing things that might rock the boat or upset anyone.

→approval or avoid disapproval. This is especially true in their relationships with women.

→Nice Guys seek approval from others. A universal trait of the Nice Guy Syndrome is the seeking of validation from others. Everything a Nice Guy does or says is at some level calculated to gain someone's

→Nice Guys fix and caretake. If a person has a problem, has a need, is angry, depressed or sad, Nice Guys will frequently attempt to solve or fix the situation (usually without being asked).

→Nice Guys are givers. Nice Guys frequently state that it makes them feel good to give to others. These men believe their generosity is a sign of how good they are and will make other people love and appreciate them.

→Every Nice Guy is unique, but all have a cluster of similar characteristics. These traits are the result of a script, often formed in childhood, that guides their lives. While other men may have one or two of these traits, Nice Guys seem to possess a significant number.

→Characteristics of Nice Guys

→all.

→He is the man whose life seems so under control, until BOOM, one day he does something to destroy it

→He is the dependable guy at church or the club who will never say "no," but would never tell anyone if they were imposing on him.

→He is the man who lets people walk all over him because he doesn't want to rock the boat.

→He is the boss who tells one person what they want to hear, then reverses himself to please someone else.

→He is the guy who frustrates his wife or girlfriend because he is so afraid of conflict that nothing ever gets resolved.

→He is the buddy who will do anything for anybody, but whose own life seems to be in shambles.

→Up to now we haven't paid much attention to the Nice Guy, but he is everywhere. He is the relative who lets his wife run the show.

→I call these men Nice Guys.

→"good" and do everything "right," they will be loved, get their needs met, and have a problem-free life. This attempt to be good typically involves trying to eliminate or hide certain things about themselves (their mistakes, needs, emotions) and become what they believe others want them to be (generous, helpful, peaceful, etc.).

→Jose, a business consultant in his late thirties, has spent the last five years in a relationship with a woman he considers needy and dependent. Jose began thinking about breaking up the day she first moved in. He is afraid that his girlfriend wouldn't be able to make it on her own if he left her. Although he has made several aborted attempts to break up, his girlfriend always becomes such an "emotional basket case" that he gets back together with her. Jose spends just about every waking moment trying to figure out how to get out of the relationship without hurting his girlfriend or looking like a jerk.

→Jose

→Lyle, a devout Christian, tries to do everything right. He teaches Sunday school and is an elder in his church. Nevertheless, he has struggled since adolescence with an addiction to pornography. Lyle masturbates compulsively, often three to four times a day. He spends hours every day looking at sexually explicit websites on the internet. He is terrified that if anyone ever finds out the truth about his sexual compulsions, his life will be destroyed. He tries to control his problem with prayer and Bible study, although neither of these approaches has done much good.