Ойкумена / Oikumena: Глава 23

Chapter 23 Trust

Camrad_RIP 24.01.24 в 20:29

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Camrad_RIP 25.01.24 в 11:25

It was quiet, cozy, and very peaceful. Just good. The brightest flash burned out her emotions, but not to the ground, as in grief and unhappiness, but rather like a cleansing flame. There was peace, calmness, soft fatigue, and a slight drowsiness that did not turn into sleep. Elena knew, in the daytime, it would result in drowsiness, apathy, and loss of strength. But that was during the day, and now - whether it was late at night or early in the morning - she was simply very well. And she wasn't the only one.

Camrad_RIP 25.01.24 в 11:52

Elena's bed was perhaps a little wide for one person, but it was just right for two, especially if they were snuggled together, back to chest, like a two-body creature. Elena ran her palm over Flessa's side. The duchess's heart still couldn't calm down. The healer held her fingers on the thin vein beneath her breast and touched her lips to her shoulder, feeling the blood beating, frequent, steady. It could not even be called a kiss, more like a light - the lightest! - It was not even a kiss, more like a light touch, but it sent a slight shiver through Flessa's body.

Camrad_RIP 25.01.24 в 11:54

The candles were almost all burned out, and the room was warm enough that Baala had spared no slate for the hearth downstairs. It was night outside the window, the shutters muffling the faint noise of the night capital. The commotion seemed to have quieted down, at least until morning. Elena felt fleetingly sorry for the duchess's companions who had to keep vigil in the cold. On the other hand, it was warmer and cozier to see the hardships of young aristocrats under the winter moon.

Camrad_RIP 25.01.24 в 11:53

Elena moved her hand farther and lower to Flessa's waist and thigh, savoring the sensation. She was a distinct visualist, and now she was discovering how nice it could be to just touch something, to feel the silky softness at her fingertips. She lingered and lightly massaged the delightful dimple at the junction of the thigh, buttock, and waist in a circular motion. Flessa sighed intermittently, took Elena's hand, and pressed it to her breast. Took it so tightly it was as if she wanted to break her fingers. She said quietly:

Camrad_RIP 25.01.24 в 11:56

"You don't need anything from me."

Camrad_RIP 25.01.24 в 11:56

"We've already talked about..." Elena exhaled, trying not to lose her sense of complete peace. It was all too good to start a new and painful conversation.

Camrad_RIP 25.01.24 в 11:57

"Everyone needs something," the duchess said, and her voice trembled as if the young woman were holding back a weak sob. "Everyone but you. Money. Service. Privileges. Access to my father's ears and eyes. My hand and title for marriage. The glory of the conqueror, finally. So one can boast over wine among friends how one's deftly ridden the proud Flessa ausf Wartensleben. Even my father needs me as a continuation of the family and then as a daughter. The youngest, forced to be useful because all the others did not live up to expectations."

Camrad_RIP 28.01.24 в 11:04

"Don't," Elena whispered into her friend's ear, warming her with her breath.

Camrad_RIP 28.01.24 в 11:05

"And you're the only one who doesn't want anything. You want me. Just me."

Camrad_RIP 28.01.24 в 11:06

The noblewoman turned her head to the side so Elena could hear better, and the clear profile stood out against the last candlelight in a perfect sculptural line.

Camrad_RIP 28.01.24 в 11:07

"Yes. And you're mine," Elena murmured, snuggling against her friend, her cheek snuggled against Flessa's shoulder blade. "At least until morning. And beyond. As long as we want."

Camrad_RIP 28.01.24 в 11:08

She exhaled, kissed Flessa's back again, and felt the knots of old scars for the third time. Never had Elena wanted so badly to be a real sorceress, to be able to do something magical. She caressed the hard, jagged lines with her lips, desperately wishing they would disappear, melt away under the gentle kisses. But even more, she wanted the scars on the soul of the powerful, cruel, and at the same time unhappy Flessa ausf Wartensleben to dissolve.

Camrad_RIP 28.01.24 в 11:06

Elena had no illusions about her lover. She knew Flessa could kill and had killed. She could whip a negligent servant girl and only refrain in the presence of her sensitive friend. But... that was in another universe. Not here and not now. Now Elena was embracing the woman she truly, truly pitied, the woman she wanted, the woman she...

Camrad_RIP 28.01.24 в 11:10

What?..

Camrad_RIP 28.01.24 в 11:10

What word can be used here? And can it be used at all?

Camrad_RIP 28.01.24 в 11:10

"Did you love her?"

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 10:35

"What?" Elena flinched.

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 10:36

"You said I wasn't her," Flessa said in a muffled voice, turning away again. "Then..."

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 10:36

Elena felt her lips dry. She wanted to break free, to leave the bed, but as if sensing her companion's impulse, Flessa gripped her hand tighter, shackling her to herself.

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 16:17

"Did you love her?"

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 10:36

Elena sighed heavily, intermittently. Old memories awakened, breaking the thin ice of oblivion she'd worked so hard to create, freezing the pain in her soul.

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 16:48

"Give for Give," said Elena. "Are we playing? Tell me where the scars came from. And I'll tell you."

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:36

"Give for Give" was a children's - and even adult, it happened - a game known throughout the Ecumene. Revelation for revelation. A secret for a secret. It was believed that Pantocrator himself listens to the words at this moment, so lying in a seemingly harmless entertainment was unacceptable. Elena wanted to get away from the unpleasant conversation and expect Flessa not to play. Judging from the silence, the calculation was justified.

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:38

"My father beat me twice," Flessa said suddenly. "Once, the first time I got drunk. The other..."

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 16:49

She was silent again. Elena was torn between two urges. She both wanted Flessa to be silent and to keep talking. The memories hurt the duchess, troubling the old scars on her heart. She didn't need to look her in the face to realize it. But ... there was a supreme trust in the intimate knowledge Flessa shared. To reject it was to insult her. And Elena listened.

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 16:50

"My father had a henchman. From a good family, a side branch of the true primators. High-born, higher than us, but poor. Poor for their class, of course. It's unbecoming of them to be subservient to those lower by blood. But the boy was the fifth son. He has no future in the family. In such cases, one closes one's eyes and forgives a certain derogation...."

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:29

Flessa sighed. Elena slid her right hand between the pillow and the duchess's head and put her arm around her neck, stroking her slightly damp cheek.

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 16:50

"The family allowed him to go into service with the Wartensleben's to strengthen the family's friendship. And the boy... fell in love with me."

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:30

Flessa shook her head to make Elena's nails press more tightly against her cheek, rubbing herself quite catlike.

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:30

"And I fell in love with him," the Duchess said briefly.

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:33

"How old were you?" The question sounded stupid, but it came out of her mouth.

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:29

"Not much. But he was handsome. Young. In love. And me... too."

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:33

Elena couldn't see it, but she could easily imagine the candlelight reflecting in Flessa's blue pupils, playing a living flame reflected in her tears.

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:34

Both he and I already knew we were Bonoms. We have been given much by birthright. We have led and will continue to lead a life that the lower classes can only futilely dream of. But.

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:35

Another sigh.

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:17

"But such a life imposes obligations, debt. Charges a fee."

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:16

Draftsman said something similar. In a different time, about different things, but the essence is the same. In gaining, you always sacrifice something, even if you don't want to.

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:16

"We had gotten used to the idea that we were celestials. But we didn't realize that even the highest creatures had to follow rules."

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:15

"Did you run?" Again, the question followed ahead of the thought.

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:15

"Yeah. We thought it would be like the novels. Ballads. We'd become husband and wife, live happily ever after, and get lost in Southern towns."

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:14

This time, Elena was silent, but Flessa answered as if the question had been spoken:

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 17:14

"Yeah. We didn't get very far."

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 16:53

The healer ran her fingers over the grid of scars again. She said, affirming rather than asking:

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 16:52

"Whip."

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 16:52

"Vartensleben is known for its leather crafts," Flessa smiled sadly. "My father had good... crafts."

Camrad_RIP 25.01.24 в 11:27

//"And the stupid boy with the wind in his head went back home to his family, of course..." - Elena mentally continued.

Camrad_RIP 29.01.24 в 16:51

"My father hung the page on the window grate in my bedroom. He ordered to keep it up until the warmth of spring."

Camrad_RIP 25.01.24 в 11:26

"Fuck..." Elena exhaled.

Camrad_RIP 25.01.24 в 11:26