Настучать в бубен / Hit the tambourine: Глава 4.2

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Having finished acquiring knowledge—albeit minor ones—the shaman turned his attention to the tokens and was initially quite pleased, for all three of the system’s “normal” gifts turned out to be just that: gifts. The first was called “Minor Meta-Skill Renewal” and applied only to an individual meta-skill, rather than to all of them at once like its older sibling, “Significant Meta-Skill Renewal,” but it had twenty-five charges instead of ten. It was almost too tiresome to list all the times a similar trick had already saved him, and all the possible futures in which this token might come to Stepan’s rescue.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 13:52

The second of the normal tokens was called “Call for a Neutral Complex Group System Assignment. It had five charges and, upon activation, issued that assignment—one that was complex relative to Stepan’s status at the time of activation. He would gladly kiss each of the ten charges on this token—the tasks are always neutral, unlike those from the Patroness. This is truly a gem among all the rewards he’s received, because it’s the only way for him, Yula, Singha, and Sylvia to level up!

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 13:54

And most importantly—the ability to choose for yourself the best time to start working on assignments, rather than worrying about being assigned one when you’re already busy. Well, just like that, a surprisingly ill-timed assignment to subdue Malter’s nest, because of which he lost such a convenient and reliable chance to subdue a certain lovely and beautiful demoness before she landed on Stepan’s face and neck simultaneously.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 13:56

The last token bore the somewhat ironic name “Rushing to the Rescue”; it had five charges and allowed the token’s owner to be transported to any member of their group, regardless of distance—as long as they were within the same world—and through any form of protection. The only exceptions were rifts into demonic dimensions or something comparable. Otherwise, not even the highest-level spatial fold or lacuna could provide protection. The catch was that the token didn’t transport the user directly to the target in need of rescue, but rather to any safe and unobservable location within a five-kilometer radius. If no such location existed within that radius, it would transport them to the nearest available one.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 13:57

The teleportation isn’t instantaneous; like the “Dot on the Map,” it requires a few minutes of inactivity and the absence of active shield spells. First, teleport; then, look around, take your time preparing for battle, and emerge in a blaze of glory—like cavalry appearing from behind a hill to rescue your companion. It’s much more situational than the previous two tokens, but simply invaluable when needed.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 14:00

And then Stepan, inspired by the awards he’d received, smoothly moved on to the auto-milf tokens, already anticipating all sorts of swear words he’d use in his mental monologue. She didn’t let him down! Oh, she didn’t let him down at all—she lived up to every expectation Stepan had in this regard! To be honest, he understood why Singh had asked him not to tell her about these little gifts, so as not to tempt her too much.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 14:01

The first token was called “Anal Pump”; it had three charges and was automatically applied to Stepan upon first activation, significantly increasing the amount of semen produced. It was somewhat similar to how that demonic crap worked back then in the tavern and afterward, but the increase wasn’t quite as significant. But the catch is that every woman in Stepan’s group, as soon as she receives a dose of anal sex, gains three attribute points—one for each of her three least-developed attributes. Stepan himself receives one point for every woman he fucks. The stat point will go to the attribute that is most developed in a woman. If, however, he engages in anal sex with someone outside the group, she will receive only two points, but also in her least developed attributes.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 14:06

Stepan's reward will not change.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 14:06

The token’s next two activations can be applied to other targets as well, but they must always be male. The ability—common to all tokens—to make changes to the body’s performance and increase its attributes without the subject’s awareness remains intact. All in all, given the presence of Sylvia and her nest, using such a token is entirely possible... and this thought only made Stepan’s anger grow. He felt that he wasn’t just being bought—he’d already almost been bought, almost lured to the dark side—and all he could do was grind his teeth.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 14:37

The second gift turned out to be just as good—or rather, “just as good”—with a charge of five and the name “Fast Bender.” For a month, it would change the gender of a chosen man (!), alive and healthy, to female, while also making that woman very beautiful on the outside. It also greatly increased the likelihood of being screwed over—first mentally, and then in the classic sense. A special bonus was the ability to make the effect partially conscious—the victim would realize that some crazy shit had happened, but the rest of the world wouldn’t. Even more than that: the victim’s screams will simply be ignored, dismissed as nonsense, or the poor girl will be considered to have had a mental breakdown—no one will take her seriously; they’ll brush it off as if it were a mosquito’s buzz.

Camrad_RIP 07.07.26 в 11:00

One to three attribute points over the course of a month—the token’s validity period—are hardly any consolation, nor is the fact that reverting might make what happened seem as if it were a strange dream—and not one you were part of. For the system’s host, of course, it worked, and his reward ranged from two to four attribute points. No, thanks—a shaman can level up just fine without bonuses like that. He hasn’t given up that much yet.

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 18:56

The name of the token brought an involuntary smile to his face. It took him a moment to recall the reference from which the token’s design had inspired the name. He even felt like rewatching *Futurama*. The only thing stopping him was the fact that he couldn’t watch it without the right equipment and the DVD. And paying the store SUCH a price the toad will strangle him..Not just strangle, but it would have felt like good old Scrooge himself had come to life, cackling menacingly and brandishing a golden plunger.

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 18:59

Shaking the strange image from his mind, Stepan turned to the last of the tokens, “Forgetting Underwear.” This gift had exactly ten charges and permanently implanted in the mind of a pretty female victim a suggestion that made her forget to put on underwear, while significantly normalizing that suggestion. The victim would realize that she was flashing her private parts at all of high (or low) society; she would feel ashamed, but she wouldn’t suspect that for years now she had been forgetting to put on her underwear every morning—nothing out of the ordinary. Just like anyone else, even if it were a professional mentalist conducting a thorough mental scan for surprises.

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 19:03

As a reward, the victim receives one random powerful aura property, preferably of a lewd nature, but it could be anything at all. Stepan thought to himself with no small amount of cynicism that the lion’s share of the women in this world wouldn’t suffer at all from this token due to a lack of money for underwear, which is often a status symbol, especially if it’s beautiful and elegant. Not to mention some cultural traditions. Black-skinned women of the savannas and jungles, just like green-skinned orc women, hardly ever wear lace panties. And the steppe women of the human tribe, too, don’t always—it’s hard to overlook this fact given his perception.

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 19:06

And in the case of those Dark Elves—the token might not work on them at all, given their wardrobes. Their outfits either don’t include underwear, or, compared to them, such underwear would seem like an extremely conservative, modest outfit straight out of a remote Muslim village. Different cultural values, you see!

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 19:47

Having mentally decided not to tell Singhe about this token—in accordance with her earlier request—the shaman moved on to the final sections of the updated status. Neither the new Deals nor the new status sub-section weighed on him in the slightest; he took them in calmly through the help section. To be honest, he didn’t even want to open the Deals section—long and firmly forgotten, and practically covered in virtual dust. But he opened it anyway—perhaps hoping for a miracle and the presence of a normal Deal, not some twisted variant, or perhaps simply out of a strange desire to once again fathom the depths of the abyss. That very desire that compels a person not to turn off the monitor while watching a GIF of a goose and a dog.

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 19:48

Taking a deep breath, as if before a dive, he finally stepped into this maelstrom, taking in the details of both new Deals. Well, to put it mildly, his expectations weren’t exactly met. The first of the perverted leveling options that appeared was called “The Coming of NoNutNovember,” but it wasn’t tied to the calendar. Simply put, under the effect of this Deal, for an entire month there’s no chance of climaxing. Any woman—whether a hired prostitute or a fully submissive Malter—will, for some reason, do nothing but tease, arouse, and caress, but never bring him to the peak. If he tries to take matters into his own hands more forcefully, every woman near Stepan will suddenly display the skills of an experienced seductress, a heartbreaker, a hypnotist—and all of these at once.

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 19:50

Yes, there will undoubtedly be intimacy; Stepan will satisfy his partner—or partners—in every way possible, and there will even be sex as such, but he won’t be getting any release. You’ll fall asleep, get exhausted, and zone out just as she reaches her climax; you’ll moan into your gag until morning while, bound as you are, you’re caressed, kissed, stroked, and tickled—held right on the edge, but you won’t come. And even if you decide to relieve the tension yourself, events will strangely unfold in such a way that a member of the opposite sex will appear nearby, preventing you from climaxing. For dessert, Bearer of the Tablet, you’ll receive an extraordinary surge in seductiveness and a willingness to flirt and tease you—even from girls and women you know very well—and to top it all off, you’ll forget all about the deal itself.

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 19:52

Without that last point, to be honest, Stepan could have taken a chance by simply devoting a month to meditation and self-control—it would have been tough, but the text of the Deal explicitly states that they won’t hypnotize or cast a spell on him, but will only seduce and tease him. Well, that is, until he decides to be more persistent or simply decides to use hands. That’s when they’ll start. In theory, it’s entirely possible to hold out without losing control or breaking the terms… if you know about the Deal. But the moment the month-long distortion of reality kicks in, he’ll immediately forget the very fact of that choice, just like with all the other Deals.

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 19:57

In general, even four stats and seven talent points are not worth this future humiliation.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 14:38

Probably.

Camrad_RIP 01.07.26 в 18:30

Incidentally, the rewards for past Deals had also been gradually changing, growing, and increasing, as if adjusting to his rising level and expanding capabilities. It wasn’t as if he had ever seriously considered accepting any of the offers, but he did take note of the fact itself. Nothing truly incredible—nothing that would make him risk his self-awareness or self-respect—was on offer there anyway.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 14:39

The second of the proposed options was called “The Choice of the Mistress,” differing somewhat from previous Deal mechanics as such. Upon activating this shit, Stepan would receive a list of several names—anywhere from three to nine—from which he would have to choose one option for a period of six months. The list contains only beautiful women—and only those whom Stepan knows at least in passing, even if only through a very fleeting personal or quasi-personal encounter. In other words, the Elven Queen, whom he’d only heard about and admired in engravings—thanks to you, Sylvia and Rowena—will never appear on this list. But Lady de Fell or Magister Clementina—whom he has at least seen through Sylvia’s memories and with whom he has interacted in roundabout ways—might very well be on it.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 14:41

Once a choice is made—and if no choice is made, one will be selected automatically, but for double the duration—that woman will gain control over a certain humble shaman. This is not a meta-effect, but something on the level of the doll that subjugated Sylvia—also magical, theoretically detectable, yet in practice utterly definitive. The method and type of control, again, depend on the woman chosen. The lady herself will not be the least bit surprised that this control has fallen into her hands; she will very quickly realize exactly what she has gained and begin to make use of the shaman who has forgotten about the Deal. Of course, she’ll use him in the most vulgar sense—but not only in that sense. It won’t even occur to her to do anything that would reveal her control over the bearer of the Tablet of the Soul, nor will she share this secret.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 14:43

But using all of Stepan’s skills to her own advantage—absolutely, in all sorts of ways, including some rather vulgar ones. However, there were certain safeguards in place: with Stepan now under his command, they wouldn’t do anything truly despicable or dangerous to his life, health, or magical gift, and it wouldn’t even occur to either him or the “lady” to harm Stepan’s loved ones and friends. In other words, Yula, Taira, the two mares, and other allies, friends, and comrades—should they appear in his presence—are out of danger. Unlike Malter, for example, who, under the terms of this deal, is apparently considered Stepan’s property and will come under new management.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 14:48

Well, if this management is not handed over to her by Stepan himself.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 14:49

The reward is divided into two parts—seven mandatory skill points and three attributes, as well as a unique bonus reward that depends on whom you grant your freedom to. And no, even if he completely loses his mind, deciding to use this junk and handing over six months of control over himself to that same Singh, who has already proven her superior moral character, it won’t help. Singha will betray him immediately, because on a meta-level, she’ll want to possess him in every sense—even if they discuss everything in advance. In the end, Stepan just gave a wry smile, closing the “Deals” section and moving on to the latest status update.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 14:50

Towards possible Feats.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 14:50

This subsection became available after reaching level 5 of the meta-skill for accepting quests and allowed players to select so-called “uber-quests”—quests with no deadline but offering a massive reward. A total of five such quests are available; one of them can be swapped for a different, random quest one month after reaching level 5 of the meta-skill. However, a quest that has been put on hold can return if it hasn’t been completed. The rewards are also divided into two parts—the first, much more modest, is awarded immediately, in advance. The second—absolutely mind-blowing—is awarded only after completion.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 15:02

Alas, you can’t collect the rewards from all the “Feat Quests” at once. If you take an advance payment, you automatically lock out all the others until the task is completed. Given the nature of those assignments, you might as well consider them permanently locked out, because Stepan hasn’t quite lost his mind enough to voluntarily get involved in such nonsense. Five assignments, each of which wasn’t even a quest—albeit a “difficult” one—but a true Feat, could easily have ended in death or something worse, and with far greater likelihood than ending in success.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 15:04

“City of the Dead,” “Sinister Web,” “Queen of Worms,” “Hunt for the Beast,” “Web of the Depths”: these were the five quests—feats—that had been offered to him indefinitely. His gaze involuntarily lingered on a familiar term—the very one he himself had used to describe a certain creature hidden in the jungle—and-and-and-and-and… he, of course, guessed correctly. The assignment actually required him to return to that very same cursed jungle—under his own power, with no portal transport provided, unless you count the “Dot on the Map”—and then successfully slay a creature of the level of a very powerful archmage, one that had taken root in its land through incredibly ancient sorcery.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 15:05

It’s a five-minute job—go in, go out—any idiot could handle it! He’d definitely be an idiot if he tried to get mixed up in this shit again, having barely managed to escape last time. Escape from a life a hundred times worse than death—a life that death has maimed and trampled underfoot. He scanned the mission description with his mind’s eye, let out a slightly hysterical laugh, and then skimmed even more quickly through the remaining four feats.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 15:13

Destroy and completely clear out one of the four cities of the Dead Cross—the four largest and most terrifying necropolises of the Dead North. And you must not allow the elite of this brutal undead community to escape. Yeah, right—no one has done this yet simply because no one has even tried; otherwise, all the loot would’ve been collected long ago, sure. Especially the Solar Theocrats—they couldn’t care less about the undead right under the nose of their holy theocracy—or rather, Theocracy—and haven’t even considered a permanent solution to the undead problem.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 15:14

How could they track down and capture the ancient—probably the very oldest of all existing vampires—utterly insane and just as utterly deadly, who regularly reincarnates in new and new bodies, the bodies of young bloodsuckers who have lost their minds to thirst, if yet another of the legendary Beast’s bodies had been destroyed? Stepan had heard plenty of stories about him from Sylvia—most of which he’d coaxed out of her through the doll, since the seasoned and powerful bloodsucker was genuinely afraid to even mention Him. This was definitely a challenge on par with “catching your neighbor’s runaway pug”—nothing less! People have been hunting and killing it for many centuries now—not just across the North, but literally all over the world—but to no avail—it always comes back.

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 15:15

At times, it can lay waste to nearly an entire region if the Beast is allowed to regain even a fraction of its original power. For the local population, such resurrections have long been classified as natural disasters. And need we even mention that right now, the Beast of Beasts—mighty and ancient—is almost certainly resurrected or in the process of being resurrected? That somewhere beneath the night sky, a young and foolish bloodsucker—who has already lost his mind to thirst—is going mad, as foreign thoughts, foreign memories, a foreign will, and a foreign essence take hold of his mind?

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 15:27

Perhaps, if circumstances allow, he might take part in a drive hunt—but certainly not alone; rather, as is always the case with the Beast, he would do so together with the rest of the world. In the Confederation itself, there are protocols—confirmed by the priests of Daromar and sealed with oaths—in place for the arrival of a new incarnation of the Beast of Beasts. The problem is that if he decides to join in this game of chase, everyone might forget all about the Beast and start hunting Stepan instead.

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 20:02

Perhaps a good option would be to dive to the bottom of the local ocean—which, in many places, has no bottom at all, only the Abyss and the Depths? And not just dive, but steal one of the local ancient and primordial deity’s favorite toys? Because anyone who has studied the matter knows that the Lord of the Depths loves to lay out entire mosaics of sunken ships on the seabed. And theologians around the world unanimously consider the ships of the Invincible Armada—which sank by His will—to be the jewels of His collection. The very ones built around the core of the felled Tree of Life, one for each of the sunken vessels.

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 20:04

Breaking into the main treasury of Undermountain, giving King-Under-the-Mountain’s Bravlin a little pinch on the cheek, and then stealing their entire treasury right under their noses somehow sounds safer and easier than the suicide mission described in the quest. Not by orders of magnitude, but very, very noticeably easier—and the reward, the largest of them all, three times greater than any other, confirmed that growing impression. How on earth could one steal a natural magical dreadnought—albeit a sunken one—from a divine domain?

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 20:31

The last of the assignments was also the most unusual, but only because it required not only venturing into the Underworld—to a certain shattered city called Diyarten—to capture or destroy some unknown spider-like creature there, but also because the description included a very strange addition. He was required to “form a temporary alliance, verified by the system, with another group of individuals opposing the Mistress of the Web,” which Stepan, of course, had no intention of doing. This detail just seemed strange—no other quest or feat prohibited forming alliances, hiring assistants, setting up allies, or employing other methods of social engineering. But only in this case did the system promise to establish—albeit a temporary one—a full-fledged alliance between Stepan and those who were currently trying to capture that creature.

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 20:34

Some part of the shaman sensed something was off here. He subconsciously understood that if he applied enough mental effort, he would solve the riddle—the answer to which was on the tip of his tongue, hidden somewhere in his memory; he was sure he’d heard something, somehow, sometime, from someone. Under different circumstances, he might have had a chance to catch that thought, but not now, not after the surge of system power he’d just experienced. All he wanted to do was cosplay as a jellyfish and nothing else, so he set this riddle aside for a while.

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 20:35

And with complete humility in the face of the inevitable, he opened a new tab in the “Feats” subsection. The very one that the will of the All-Merciful had further expanded, expanded, and developed—may all her forms be blessed. All in all, the feelings were roughly the same as when he’d looked at the previous section, only now there was also a huge dose of secondary shame. It’s worth acknowledging that the Auto-Goddess didn’t skimp on the reward, but at the same time, he had to admit that her assignments weren’t exactly much easier than combat missions.

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 20:37

Five quests: “The Puppet Queen,” “Mother and Magdalene,” “Dark Elven Tango,” “Life-Loving Asses,” and “Five Hundred Obscenities”—as if they were distorted reflections of normal quests in a twisted mirror. Likewise, he had no intention of completing a single one of these quests. He had no intention of turning the Forest Queen into a plaything for his pleasure, nor of doing exactly the same to the nine most notorious Dark Elf Matriarchs, nor of brainwashing a genuine angel and the equally genuine daughter of God among the local Sun Communists, and he certainly wasn’t going to meddle with the cult of the Life-Giver. In the latter case, not only because it’s difficult and fraught with the wrath of what is possibly the world’s most powerful goddess, but also because that goddess was practically the only example of a normal deity.

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 20:38

Relatively normal.

Camrad_RIP 26.07.26 в 20:38

Seriously! Everyone loves them. They love everyone back, they look great, they preach—and prove through their actions—the need to make love, not war, and there really isn’t much bad to say about them. Even after delving deeply into this issue—even with the help of the well-informed and extremely cynical Sylvia Malter—relatively little dirt was unearthed about Gaia’s clergy. Yes, there was some, just as there is with any large organization that wields power and influence. But then again, in comparison? Let’s put it this way—if the Life-Giver herself, in her avatar, were to run for president of this thrice-cursed world, Stepan would vote for her.

Camrad_RIP 27.07.26 в 08:01

He certainly won’t start carrying out a mission that requires anything even remotely similar to what a certain Master tried to pull off in a certain sunny town. Not to subjugate the goddess and her entire clergy, but to influence them—to implant a viral, gradually unfolding structure that will literally distort the religious aspect of the Life-Giver. And in addition to their breasts, her priestesses’ buttocks will also begin to grow, and those buttocks will become more sensitive and tender. And something else will also become more sensitive and elastic; prayers and grace will begin to transform that part of the body, distorting it so that it is always clean, tight, and ready for use.

Camrad_RIP 27.07.26 в 08:03

And over time—in about three or four years—the priestesses of Gaia will gradually and imperceptibly come to be known for another thing: that they take just as much pleasure in anal sex as they do in traditional sex. Given the whole array of highly distinctive fertility rituals—which can only really be described as orgies—the introduction of a new fetish common to the entire clergy may well go relatively unnoticed. All the more so because Gaia strongly disapproves of any form of pregnancy termination; therefore, for her priestesses who do not yet wish to conceive and do not know the prayers for contraception (or who do not wish to atone later for the sin of using such a prayer), entering from the other end is a fairly common practice. There’s no sin involved, and you can still enjoy yourself. The only thing is that this quest is, in essence, comparable in difficulty to “Toys of the Depths”—or perhaps even an order of magnitude more difficult to complete.

Camrad_RIP 27.07.26 в 08:08

In the end, of all five assignments set by Her Milfness, only the fifth and final one remained—the one that required brainwashing, in a perverse way, not just one specific person, but five hundred beautiful women, and you could choose any of them. All you have to do is follow the step-by-step brainwashing instructions provided for each woman and ensure that the quality doesn’t slip. It would take at least a year and a half to two years of intense work—assuming the resources are available. And there’s no room for error. The reward is significantly smaller than for any other assignment, and it’s nowhere near as good as the one for “Life-Loving Asses.”

Camrad_RIP 27.07.26 в 08:09

Once again suppressing the urge to yell a string of curses up at the stone-sealed heavens, declaring that he wouldn't take part in this farce, Stepan zoned out.

Camrad_RIP 27.07.26 в 08:10

* * *

Camrad_RIP 05.07.26 в 15:27

This time I did have dreams after all—a sort of hazy, indistinct blur that coalesced into separate images or even little scenes, which faded from my consciousness faster than new scenes could take shape there. The images took the form of either an old man with a cane walking slowly somewhere, walking a dog the size of a skyscraper, or the Woman from the Village of Fools armed with a frying pan-shooter—only for some reason dressed as the Sister of Battle—while the Man and the Sailor became a commissar and a Catachan.
Village of Fools
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MchYvdqQxw

Camrad_RIP 27.07.26 в 08:13