Помогите пожалуйста зарифмовать три строки для перевода

Ляжешь досрочно – замучишься точно.
В одиннадцать набок – к семи скушал тапок.
Ложиться под утро – вот флотская мудрость.

Нужно зарифмовать ещё один стих здесь http://notabenoid.com/book/48127/211471/58475358#17
Тут полно цитат.

Вот, что получается у Паркер

0. Mrs. Porter and her daughter wash their feet in soda-water.
1. And Agatha’s Arth is a hug-the-hearth, but my true love is false.

2. Why did you die when lambs were cropping,
you should have died when apples were dropping.

3. Shall be together, breathe and ride,
so one day more am I deified,
who knows but the world will end tonight.

4. And he shall hear the stroke of eight and not the stroke of nine.

5. They are not long, the weeping and the laughter; love and desire and hate
I think will have no portion in us after we pass the gate.

6. But none, I think, do there embrace.

7. I think that I shall never see a poem lovely as a tree.

8. I think I will not hang myself today.

9. Ay tank Ay go home now.

А вот, что она использует:
_______________________________________________________________________
0.
A rat crept softly through the vegetation
Dragging its slimy belly on the bank
While I was fishing in the dull canal
On a winter evening round behind the gashouse.
Musing upon the king my brother's wreck
And on the king my father's death before him.
White bodies naked on the low damp ground
And bones cast in a little low dry garret,
Rattled by the rat's foot only, year to year.
But at my back from time to time I hear
The sound of horns and motors, which shall bring
Sweeney to Mrs. Porter in the spring.
O the moon shone bright on Mrs. Porter
And on her daughter
They wash their feet in soda water
Et, O ces voix d'enfants, chantant dans la coupole!
(from T.S. Eliot – The Waste Land )

1.
Oh, Prue she has a patient man,
And Joan a gentle lover,
And Agatha's Arth' is a hug-the-hearth,­—
But my true love's a rover!
(Edna St. Vincent Millay)

2.
Why were you born when the snow was falling? You should have come to the cuckoo’s calling
Or when grapes are green in the cluster,
Or, at least, when lithe swallows muster
For their far off flying
From summer dying.

Why did you die when the lambs were cropping?
You should have died at the apples’ dropping,
When the grasshopper comes to trouble,
And the wheat-fields are sodden stubble,
And all winds go sighing
For sweet things dying.
(Christina Rossetti)

3.
My mistress bent that brow of hers,
Those deep dark eyes where pride demurs
When pity would be softening through,
Fix'd me a breathing-while or two
With life or death in the balance: right!
The blood replenish'd me again;
My last thought was at least not vain:
I and my mistress, side by side
Shall be together, breathe and ride,
So, one day more am I deified.
Who knows but the world may end to-night?
(Robert Browning)

4.
...And sharp the link of life will snap,
And dead on air will stand
Heels that held up as straight a chap
As treads upon the land.

So here I'll watch the night and wait
To see the morning shine,
When he will hear the stroke of eight
And not the stroke of nine;

And wish my friend as sound a sleep
As lads' I did not know,
That shepherded the moonlit sheep
A hundred years ago.
( From «A Shropshire Lad» by A.E. Housman)

5.
They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,
Love and desire and hate;
I think they have no portion in us after
We pass the gate.

They are not long, the days of wine and roses,
Out of a misty dream
Our path emerges for a while, then closes
Within a dream.
(Ernest Dowson)

6.
But at my back I always hear
Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song; then worms shall try
That long preserv'd virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust.
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none, I think, do there embrace.
(Andrew Marvell – To His Coy Mistress )

7.
I THINK that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the sweet earth's flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
(Joyce Kilmer. 1886–1918)

8.
The gallows in my garden, people say,
Is new and neat and adequately tall;
I tie the noose on in a knowing way
As one that knots his necktie for a ball;
But just as all the neighbours–on the wall–
Are drawing a long breath to shout “Hurray!”
The strangest whim has seized me. . . . After all
I think I will not hang myself to-day.
(A Ballade of Suicide by G. K. Chesterton )

9.
Любимая фраза Греты Гарбо
...Then came dietitian and health expert Gayelord Hauser, who, of all her romances, did the most to change her from the shy withdrawn creature of Hollywood into the fairly casual, publicity-hating cosmopolite. Before this, she was almost viciously solitary, famous for saying, “Ay tank ay go home now,” and “Ay vant to be alone.” Sitting on the back seat of her car, she ate raw vegetables from a wooden salad bowl. She took long walks on solitary beaches, wearing no makeup and avoiding fashionable clothes. Hauser changed all that. He taught her to eat meat, brought her to New York, introduced her to new people and even got her to wear fashionable clothes. Incidentally, in spite of the legend of her over-sized feet, they are actually size 7AA. (one she walked into Ferragamo, the Italian shoemaker, wearing worn, rope-soled shoes and became so intrigued that she ordered fifty pairs of shoes at once–all handmade.)...

Ляжешь рано – сосчитаешь сто одного барана.
Усталость и сон в одиннадцать сморят – в семь носишься аж подмётки горят.
На рассвете дремать – кому вахту не стоять.

Всем спасибо. Боюсь даже с помощью зала мне этот рассказ не перевести. Текст попался такой, что в каждом абзаце намёки да цитаты. Начиная с самого первого http://notabenoid.com/book/48127/211471/58475343#2

Здесь нужно зарифмовать эту строку ...Baby wide-eyed as a marigold. Рассказ про бессонницу. И перевод должен быть примерно таков ...по детски широко распахнутые глаза ноготков.

Источник
Alfred Douglas. 1870–

65. The Green River

I KNOW a green grass path that leaves the field
And, like a running river, winds along
Into a leafy wood, where is no throng
Of birds at noon-day; and no soft throats yield
Their music to the moon. The place is sealed,
An unclaimed sovereignty of voiceless song,
And all the unravished silences belong
To some sweet singer lost, or unrevealed.

So is my soul become a silent place....
Oh, may I wake from this uneasy night
To find some voice of music manifold.
Let it be shape of sorrow with wan face
Or love that swoons on sleep, or else delight
That is as wide-eyed as a marigold.

Зелёная река

Стезя травы зелёной через поле
Бежит, в объятьях ветра, как река,
В листвой покрытый лес, где уголка
Для трелей нет, и где стога на воле
Луне не шепчут. Глухо, как в подполье.
Здесь песня не озвучена пока,
И эта тишина – из тайника
Певца, нам неизвестного дотоле.

Моя душа – молчания юдоль.
Могу ли после ночи треволненья
Я музыки услышать голоса.
Ей скорбью стать болезненной позволь,
Любовью спящей, счастьем восхищенья,
Наивного, как бархатцев глаза.

(Перевод Александра Лукьянова)

миссис портер свои пятки моет только в минералке
у меня соседка клара моет ноги скипидаром
мойте личико в боржоми, чтобы быть как мама джоли...

tamika,
спасибо вам огромное за работу и паркер, вы какой-то огромный труд делаете по ходу своего перевода, это очевидно, то есть много всего в него вкладывайте, и, какой бы ни был результат, он уже правильный, кмк, и удачи!

Друзья ботаники,бархатцы не календула (ноготки).
Распахнутые как ноготки глаза -скорее наивные, восхищённые,восторженные ,...когда бархатные как бархатцы...влажные ,томные ,манящие...,извините...