Его не звали, но он приперся / They never called, yet he is here: Глава 32

Chapter 32

Camrad_RIP 20.01.22 в 21:04

For some reason, the first thing I chose was the point runaway, rather than a way to start the conversation gracefully. An accident, I guess. Fortunately, my will of steel and the experience of a man from the twenty-first century allowed me not to run off into the sunset, but to keep an indifferent face. For I am as undaunted and unwavering as the embodiment of tranquility and Buddha himself. And it was not panic paralysis on account of nervous overstrain at all! Do you understand? It was purely a manifestation of my awesome awesomeness. Anyone who thinks otherwise, I will personally feed to the Shadows.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 08:49

After about five seconds of silent staring, I came to my senses enough to use the shadow sphere to plot a convenient route out of the camp, and one that wouldn't catch the eyes of the sentries who were watching. Whatever the conversation was, I wouldn't be talking near other people's ears. What could we possibly have to talk about?

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 08:50

"Okay," I answer, now that I've got myself under control. "Then we'll talk. Hold on to me tightly, and don't make a fuss."

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 09:00

It was with these words that I began my maneuver. I suppose the only reason she didn't scream was that she was surprised and lost her voice. My characteristics were enough to make me a decent amount of speed, though. I could have been faster, but I was afraid of hurting Tarija by landing and stopping too abruptly.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 09:02

I accelerated, jumped, maneuvered, and then, a few seconds later, my person was outside the ring of cordons and out of reach of the lights of the many bonfires. The guards were easily dealt with. A little dust in the face of one, a second was distracted by a bird frightened away by a shadow, a third thought that something flashed on the edge of the field of vision, and as a result, no one even looked at our twosome. They just didn't turn their faces in our direction.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 09:03

She was clearly not used to this kind of adventure, and she clung to me like a life preserver, so that if my stats had been lower, I would have been bruised. She didn't show any sign of panic beside her feverish grasp. Except that her breathing was a bit labored, just a little bit.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 09:15

When I got a couple of hundred yards away from the farthest patrols, including the local rangers' campsites, I set Tarija on her feet and shook the little flask in my hands, which immediately glowed quite brightly. I even had to cover the clearing where we were staying with almost weightless shadow barriers, whose purpose was to conceal the source of the glow. Why bother working people, for they often have no sense of humor at all.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 09:37

Tarija, who had recovered from the turmoil, was now looking thoughtfully and sublimely up at the sky, which was incredibly clear and cloudless today, and, given the absence of smog in the medieval world, even the smallest stars were visible. I didn't even have to hurry her - the sight was truly delightful.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 18:05

As a child, I always dreamed that I could collect all those stars with my hands, like brightly colored glass. - She said with a kind of luminous sadness, keeping her head down from the sight that occupied her. - You know, the innkeeper's daughter in my street had a collection of colored glass. I'd always wanted one, they weren't expensive. The alchemists were always selling them - a handful for a few coppers. Even our family could afford such a purchase, but my father didn't care, and good wine was expensive, as was honey. He hadn't rolled over yet, choosing what he was going to get drunk on before he passed out. I prayed to the gods for a long time that they would give me the same glasses, that they would make my father stop beating my mother... I prayed for a lot of things. And then one day I waited for Lithia to leave her toys unattended and stole two whole handfuls for myself. That's when I realized that the gods and prayers didn't work the way I thought they would, and I begged for their forgiveness.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 18:25

To be honest, I was expecting something different - claims or accusations of callousness, but certainly not this kind of peculiar confession. It wasn't even her decency or concern for her feelings that kept her quiet, it was her trivial interest. I still didn't understand why she had started this conversation in the first place. My clairvoyance was silent, and I didn't want to strain it on my own, because the backlash would be too heavy. And why talk at all, if you always use clairvoyance at every opportunity?

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 18:27

"You know, Tin, I'm not stupid. I know exactly what you didn't like about me. It's hard to talk to someone who led the way to your death." There was a little more emotion in her words, as well as strange anger that had no target. "If you'd just lifted my hem and treated me like a thing, it would have been easier, and after what you did to me, it would have been... ...more pleasant, I guess. I've been around a long time, and I know what they do to girls like me when they get caught in the act. Except you don't even treat me like a whore bought for perpetual hire, or some kind of slave. You just ignore me. You despise me for who I am. I don't know how exactly I understand it, I just feel like I've always been able to figure out what people think of me."

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 18:30

It is surprisingly sound thinking and, it seems, also something resembling the rudiments of an intuitive understanding of the interlocutor. Perhaps it was a passive feature of her pretending skills, but even so, it was something I could develop in the right direction. It's not just her boobs that serve me, is it?

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 18:47

The words themselves did not touch me in the least, nor did the attempt to pity her, or whatever she was going to do. My opinion of her was complete enough, simply because I had looked into the very depths of her essence, finding it very simple and primitive. She had great potential to be a strong person. Even now she was smarter and perhaps deeper than her dead partners, but no more than that. She had boxed herself in, bound herself in, chosen her path and goals, which were gray and primitive to the core. All that mattered was that she still occasionally looked up at the sky, reminiscing about her childhood.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 18:48

"You know what, Tin?" Now her anger was quite addressed, though very sad and bitter, devoid of any intention to really hurt or offend. "It's not for you to judge me! You weren't the one who hid in your own house, hoping that a couple of kicks to your older sister would be enough to calm down today. You weren't the one who comforted her when he started molesting her! You weren't the one who had to drown the old freak in the ditch, where he'd fallen himself so you wouldn't be afraid to go to sleep! You weren't the one who survived in the Kraо, scrounging in dumpsters when they kicked me out of a job without paying me a penny! You weren't the one who had to pay for shelter, kneeling before another fat hog who smelled like a cesspool! Not you! Me! Me! Yes, maybe you, noble one, are disgusted by what I lived and did! I have stolen and killed and betrayed! Just to live! To live well, not as an m-mother! It's not for you to judge me!"

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 19:10

Part of it was still controlled hysteria, supported by her skill, but only part of it, and only the smallest part. She had undoubtedly stirred and inflamed herself to the proper limit, but that was all. The rest was done by memories and long-buried fears, which she was now deliberately bringing to the surface to throw them in my face. Do you sense any lies, my love? Then the truth is on you!

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 19:29

Her assumption about my "noble" origin was quite reasonable - the appearance of office plankton who had never worked a day in the field, the plasticity of my movements, and, most importantly, the high level and obscure abilities that ordinary people would not get. Even the occasional breakthrough in my speech not quite "aristocratic" turnovers did not serve in her eyes as a refutation of the theory.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 19:30

The funny thing is that if I had been a simple bandit, like one of her colleagues I killed, she wouldn't have cared much. Yes, such a one would have treated her like a thing, but with the action of the ring, she would have loved him for that, too. It was almost physically painful for her to realize that I could treat her as a human being, which she hadn't received from anyone since she was a child, but preferred to look at her as nothing. And even though I tried not to show it, there was also a certain amount of contempt, driving the person in love with me to the point of evil despair.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 19:31

The attempt to play "damsel in distress" on this side was quite obvious-one of her favorite tactics, which had helped her out quite a few times. She may have been entirely sincere now, but that didn't take away from the main point. Since she had failed the first time, when I hadn't even let her open her mouth when I knew she was going to lie, all she had to do was tell the truth. And she had the truth, and it was bitter and hurtful. In theory, after such a rebuke, the overly sensitive Aristo could really... No, not love her, but at least pity her and not push her away anymore. Surprisingly sensible and subtle move for a simple townswoman, but women, if you believe the Internet, in general, are good at such tricks, conducting them on the bare intuition. On the other hand, judging all girls by threads of unlucky guys from 4chan isn't the wisest decision, either.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 19:33

Anyway, the last thing she expected from her not quite theatrical and definitely not staging was my quiet and sad laughter. Success and my comforting embrace, she expected. Failure and a couple of slaps showing her where she belonged - she expected that, too. But not that I would start laughing as she opened her soul to me.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 19:48

"Tarija... You seem like a smart girl, but sometimes you're so stupid." I'm sad-sad, and also sincere, I stretched out in response to the incomprehensible look. "No, no, I listened to you, so please listen to me."

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 19:49

I gestured broadly around the clearing, the darkness of the forest itself, and the sky above our heads as if enveloping them in a huge imaginary circle. I also knocked her out of the hysteria that was starting to set in again.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 19:49

"You see, Tarija, my dear..." I pause for a moment to formulate my thought better. "Alurej is one big mixture of a dump and a slaughterhouse, where every creature in human or monster form sees in those around them only valuable experience. It's hard to be a good person under those conditions, very hard, almost impossible. But, you know, some people and, I suppose, non-humans are up to the task. You know, not being animals."

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 19:51

I was beginning to be carried on the wings of inspiration again, and my titles, set up to find the weak points of other people's character, only added gasoline to the fire brewing in my butt. Not yet anger, but rather simple indignation that pierces even my thick-skinned troll skin and pokes me in the buttocks with an awl.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 19:52

"I, you know, have a right to despise you, not because I'm noble and honest and you're vile and mean, but because I've seen some shit too. A lot, a lot of shit." I'm sure my smile now turned out to be utterly maniacal. "And I sincerely doubt that a drunken domestic tyrant is comparable in the degree of guaranteed trouble to a trio of hungry goblins. And I certainly find it hard to accept your position, after I've seen more of the legendary creatures than a few lifetimes ahead of me."

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 19:54

My throat literally spiraled with a growl, and a grin tore at my face as I put myself into my words. I'm surprised to realize that I'm actually saying what I believe myself to be true.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 19:54

"I am direct proof that it is possible to survive even in the biggest vat of filth, which is over my head. I hate to call myself a good person just so I don't have to lie to myself, but, you see, Tarija, at least I was trying." I went from snarling to a real hiss, angry and amused at the same time. "I tried to act not only based on profit but also simply based on banal humanity. Doing all sorts of illogical nonsense, just because I can do a good deed without losing anything. You didn't even try. You just reveled in your hatred, self-pity, and desire for a better life. It's understandable, it's right even, in terms of pure logic."

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:00

I force myself under control, not letting myself snap and push too hard, knowing intuitively that now she is one step away from breaking. How much would she need to break? She's too weak, too primitive... pathetic.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:02

"I despise you because I see you as someone I could have been. All I had to do was follow logic, turn away at the right moment, do nothing stupid, mind my own business, and take what I could take. The only difference is that with my powers I would have caused far more trouble than you could have done. It's a shame, I agree, but it's revelation night, isn't it?"

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:03

She is almost crushed by my words, and her tears no longer require any pretense at all. My words reach her not only because she is subject to the ring, but also because of their truthfulness. Somehow, this comparison of the two of us has awakened in her the deeply buried remnants of that childlike belief in the best, that she could become strong-strong and all the troubles in her life would cease.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:15

I look at the woman seated directly on the cold ground, who has nothing and probably never had anything, and then I hold out my hand, offering to get up.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:15

Here's my hand, Tarija." Trying not to shrug off the pathos, I continue my speech. "I'm not promising you a rich and prosperous life, nor am I promising you the mountain of gold and the fulfillment of fantasies you dream of. All I can offer you is the possibility of a lot of trouble and ignominious doom. All I can give you is the ability not to deceive yourself by pretending that you never had any other choice. All that I have, all that I have left to myself, I will give to you, too - the opportunity to choose for yourself."

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:18

For a moment, I thought I had finally broken her. Or that my words had passed her by, never breaking through the wall of nurtured cynicism. But a second later, the dainty hand was still in my hand, allowing me to lift its owner to her feet.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:19

I removed the silence from the hall that had been imposed for the duration of the conversation. I removed the shadow walls that concealed the light and crushed the glowing flask with the shadow so that the compound reacted with the air and stopped glowing.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:32

We walked back in silence, while the pretty girl walking behind me tried to fix her tear-stained face. Somehow this victory, a small one that no one wanted, that didn't change anything important, made me feel much better than the titles and levels I'd gotten for the orcs I'd slaughtered.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:34

For some reason, this victory seemed much more important to me.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:19

The sneaking back into the camp was as mundane as ever, and our absence was not noticed even by the coachman, who was rather tipsy and nervous from the anxiety of the day. No one else cared enough about us to pay any attention to our absence. Especially since we hadn't been gone long at all.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:35

Tarija crouched silently by my side and fell asleep without saying a word.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:35

I waited and prayed for another attack by orcs and goblins. I waited for the occasional monster or some other opportunity to pretend to be dead, but it never came. Yes, I could take my herb bag and go into the woods and say "easy, I've done this a hundred times," but I would probably be remembered very well... as a nominee for the Goodness of Maosork, the local version of the Darwin Award. Seriously, the god of the Fools, the Deceived, and the Insane do patronize the souls of those who have managed to kill themselves in a particularly stupid way. Well, unless they killed themselves on purpose.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:46

I was told about Goodness by Tarija, who, even though she was almost uneducated, knew the local folklore quite well. It's not surprising, considering that there's not much else for ordinary people to entertain themselves, and there's not much to do here.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:47

I'd already resigned myself to the fact that there wouldn't be another batch of orcs, but I kept grumbling. The nail in the coffin of my hopes was the sudden activation of the clairvoyance a few days after the massacre I had caused. The visions were filled with battles and blood, spilled exclusively by green-skinned men. The spirits of a multitude of shamans literally cloaked the night sky, the screams of hordes clashing with one another, the blood flooding the forest floor - all merged into an inexpressible cacophony, a continuous kaleidoscope of death and destruction. Apparently, my provocation had worked too well, and there was real rancor among the greens.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:49

Now if only the city forces would cooperate and strike a decisive blow, which would solve the problem of savages for the next few years! But Kraj had also suffered greatly, and the mayor and other noblemen had wisely decided to stay away from the warring Orcs for fear they would band together against a common foe. Let them fight each other off while the humans wait in the defense, protected by still strong and impregnable walls. There's a better chance of survival.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:51

If the leaders of the Krai were a little more ambitious and reckless, they would not care about the losses - the king would send new settlers here as well as provide new army units, especially if they claimed a successful punitive campaign to begin erecting new outposts deep in the wilderness.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:53

On the other hand, the new forces sent to replace them may not be friendly to the local government at all. They will send a new advisor to "help the glorious mayor in everything," and after a couple of years, they will appoint an assistant as the new mayor. This is not the first time this has happened in the same region. The current appointee got his job that way and ruined his predecessor's life, so he will have no illusions.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:54

The main conclusion from this is very simple and happy for all the locals, but sad for me - the orcs don't give a shit about us all right now.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 20:59

Communicating with Tarya was a creaky process. It wasn't even that she was withdrawn, that wouldn't be true. No, it was the difference in mentality and the norms by which we thought. With Hans and Losij, especially the latter, we were, if not on the same wavelength, then somewhere close, but with Tarija, it was more complicated. She simply did not know what to talk to me about, and I, you know, was not very good at making small talk with beautiful women either.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 21:00

To be honest, the situation was ridiculously reminiscent of some kind of love story or cheap drama that they made a shitty TV series out of. Two morally handicapped people are trying to build communication, and neither of them has any idea how to do it. If there were a third observer near us, he would have laughed his ass off watching us struggle. He would have laughed at first, and then I would have killed him, the bastard.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 21:02

Fortunately or unfortunately, there were no observers around, or I don't even know.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 21:03

There were all kinds of conversations, but mostly we just... retold stories to each other. The girl knew enough interesting stories from a purely regional point of view (from all other points of view - boring to death), and most importantly, she was well oriented in the surrounding society. I knew a lot of very interesting stories, fables, anecdotes, and other jokes, but I was a lousy storyteller, but I had an opportunity to practice.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 21:04

Now, before each camp, we were able to talk a little, but just a little. Tarija was in no hurry to make advances toward me - though she didn't miss an opportunity to squeeze in, and I pretended to believe it. As it was, life went on, no matter how boring it seemed to me.

Camrad_RIP 21.01.22 в 21:06