Его не звали, но он приперся / They never called, yet he is here: Глава 9

Chapter 9

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 01:25

Everyone has a job to do. And no amount of advancement in taking over the world is a barrier to this truth. Yes, I have managed to find the first clue, or rather a shadow of it, that might lead me to the solution to the problem of the Heroes summoned to this world. There was no thunder, no divine messengers descending from heaven, no System update, none of this happened. It's just that my suffering, resulting in an unspeakably bad migraine, was finally paying off.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 08:47

After I had blinked away the fog that had covered my eyes, the first thing I did was send everyone to do something useful. I was not in a good mood, and it wasn't because I didn't feel well. I could easily admit to myself that I was scared. Earlier I might not have made any move toward Yoke and its creators, because I didn't know which way to go. Now I saw that way, and I was afraid to go into battle against the whole fucking world.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 08:49

However, it is worth recalling the anecdote about the donkey and the dragon to show my true attitude toward the situation. Yes, I was scared. Was I going to turn back and leave my quest for someone else? Go fuck yourselves, motherfuckers! To paraphrase that same joke, I'm still going to have to look hard for a place to bury you all.
T.N.
Behind the mountains, behind the valleys, behind the green forests, there is a terrible beast in the forest. Whoever enters the forest will fuck anyone. For a long time, for a short time, the fucked animals decided to go to war against it. And since they did not want to go into the forest, they called the dragon from the neighboring kingdom: "Go," they said, "make the fucker stop!" What did the dragon want? He went to the woods. He wandered and wandered, didn't find anybody, sat down on a clearing, and saw a cave. Well, he thinks that's where he's sitting. Shouted into the cave: "Come out, scary beast!" A little donkey crawled out and was trembling. -"What," says the dragon, "are you scared?!" "Scared," says the donkey, "this is the first time I'm going to fuck such a scary one."

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 08:59

It was with that pathos thought that I fell asleep before I even had time to take off my other shoe - my strength was at its bottom, and there was no need to look for a second breath in myself. If I had a chance to rest in a friendly environment, I wouldn't have to act like a terminator, trying to show my indefatigability. Sleep first, all questions afterward.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 09:05

I slept for a long time, even skipping dinner and, if memory serves me correctly, throwing the only shoe I had taken off in the direction of Hans, who tried to wake me up. When I woke up, however, I was no longer willing to wreak havoc on anything, but only a few quirky verbal constructions in response to my rumbling stomach.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 09:07

It was late at night, and there were no moons in the sky - it was as dark as a nigger's ass. This was to my advantage, for I was going to make the most shameless raid on the kitchen and the cellar, for I was so hungry I could not endure it. My shadowy steps took me downstairs to the kitchen, where I managed to expropriate a bowl, a set of two forks, a slightly bent knife, and a large beer mug; I couldn't find the food itself, because it had either been eaten or hidden away from the munchies.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 09:33

I had to get into the cellar, where there was a real magic alarm - the first time I've ever seen this thing in a cellar. It's understandable, though, because it's a strategic point. One infiltrator with a vial of poison could give all the inhabitants of the manor mass indigestion. Need I point out that I only approve of such paranoia?

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 09:37

I really approve, because such protection will not stop me, but other fans of ruining the food supply - very much so. I took a few sausages, a bottle of wine (with the resistances hanging in the Status, it's like drinking compote) and a bunch of dried fruit on a thin rope, and I went back to the kitchen and began to munch, filling the spiritual emptiness with material food. I couldn't help but hear the quiet footsteps of someone sneaking in my direction, with my perception and the permanently active sphere.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:07

When Kasiоa entered the room, I had already managed to go into stealth and even clutched the remains of my supper and my beer mug (with wine) to my chest. At first, it seemed to me that she paid no attention to us (me and my mug): she managed, without looking back, to get to the door to the pantry, and then began to perform strange manipulations with the lock and the magical protection. For the first time in my life, I saw how the class skills of a buffer can perform the role of a magical burglar. However, it was the first time I had seen the benefic at work, too.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:30

I had already set myself up for a fun movie during the meal, but it didn't work out. After a few dozen seconds, it dawned on my unwilling companion in the night meal that the smell of sausages did not seem to her from hunger. She froze for a few beats, then slowly reached into her pocket and pulled out the magic crystal. I would have been nervous about throwing a magical grenade at the would-be assassin, but it was just a regular firefly.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:31

And in that dim blue light, she saw the sausage I'd forgotten on the table. A small bite of it. A few seconds of silence followed by a panicked whisper:

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:32

"Is someone here?" It feels like she's very... not afraid, but afraid to hear an affirmative answer to her question.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:32

I could scare her in classic "Boo!" style, but I'm still above that, especially since such an action would be at least not polite to Losij.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:33

"There's no one here." I also whisper to reassure the night visitor.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:35

For some reason, it seemed to me that she did not believe me, although the reason for this result is absolutely unclear. I told her directly that there was no one here! What an unbelieving Thomas, only in a dress.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:36

"Tin, is that you?" She had a very good memory for voices if she could tell who the whispering belonged to. I don't know if it's high perception or good hearing.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:39

"Are you hard of hearing?" I'm indignant. "I told you, I'm not here!"

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:39

"Are you making fun of me?" I don't understand why she should be outraged. One word - a woman, she came up with something herself, and then she is offended.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:40

"How could you think that of me? Don't I have anything else to do?" It was surprisingly easy to convey the sound of hurt anger without going from a whisper to a normal voice. "Of course, I'm mocking you!"

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:40

"Scum. Rude. Donkey." Abruptly calming down, she decided to burn me with a scornful accusation.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:41

Unfortunately (unfortunately for her, of course), she is not Pushkin to burn people's hearts with words, and therefore, instead of remorse, I experienced only legitimate resentment.
T.N.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:45

"What's the donkey got to do with it?" I ask only to be ignored.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:45

"Oh, leave me alone." That's all she said to me, and then she turned back to the passageway to the food storage room and started another break-in. As I realized, she was somehow using her magic, not for its effect, but to find the right frequency of this energy to open the door and turn off the alarm. A better security net would probably have reacted immediately to such an attempted break-in, but this one was too simple for any reassurance.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:46

Instead of another quip, I simply sneak into the storeroom and ask from there, causing another fright and a barely audible scolding. And it seems, such a lady! But no, she is also our man, even though she is a woman!

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:49

"Do you want something?"

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:50

I was sure she was going to send me far away, but apparently, her hunger was stronger than her pride, so Kasija decided not to escalate our conflict to a full-fledged quarrel.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:51

"There, to the left of the entrance, should be jam, with candied apple slices next to it." A clear lead-in followed. "That's what you take. Not the furthest ones, but the ones farther away."

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:52

"I understand, not a fool. A fool wouldn't have understood." I ignore the skeptical snicker and ask again. "There are also candied berries. Should I take them, because they're tasty?"

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:53

"Barik, our cook, watches them like his own wife. We take a lot and in the morning he will complain again about the night robbers." She seemed to say no, but she did not explicitly forbid it, which means veiled permission.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:54

"Ok."

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:53

One more step and I quietly pile the sweets on the table. Someone here doesn't know about proper nutrition, preferring the diet of old Winnie. The one who knew a thing or two about the right bees.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 10:59

"Did you know that eating a lot of sweets at bedtime is bad for you?" I asked, finally chewing the sweet berry mass in my mouth. "It spoils your figure."

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:00

"You'd better not start the same song!" Another shout, expressed, paradoxically, in a whisper. "I was up all night reading Septimus Blago's new manuscript! I had waited a year and a half for it to arrive, and I owed it to an acquaintance of mine! I didn't have time for dinner."

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:01

"What does a covert operation to eliminate sweets have to do with it?" I don't fall for the attempt to divert the subject while chewing on the last two sausages. "You would have woken up the cook and demanded dinner. I doubt very much you would have been refused."

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:01

"That's dinner, and this is jam and sweets. My father believes that they should not be eaten at night." The night saboteur explains in an innocent tone, spreading jam on a slice of morning bread that she pulled out of some secluded corner. "And I'm always hungry for sweets after reading."

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:13

So we tried to tease each other, filling our stomachs at the same time. I was careful to keep my mocking soul in check, not wanting to give it a nervous tic, and Kasija herself just couldn't keep up with me at trolling.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:14

All in all, it's almost idyllic.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:14

Which we were both ruined by another pair of late-night ragers, who had left the twilight for an act of retaliation against the food supply. Again, I sensed them and even managed to hide the sweets under the table, where Kasija ducked right in. So much for the noble unperturbed lady, blue blood and white bone! I think if I blabbed about this night she would hire an assassin for me... a joke, I guess.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:16

I did not jump under the table myself, because there was already too little room, and I had no intention of embarrassing the collection of sweets there with a tight embrace. Instead, I jumped to the ceiling and clung to the protruding beam, immediately turning on stealth and waiting for our guests to appear.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:18

The guests were two young maids who, in addition, could not navigate in the dark, so they used an oil lamp with minimal light. They entered the kitchen almost crawling, trying desperately not to make any noise or attract any attention. Yes, Kasija would get a scolding for stealing food, but they might get a whipping. The clairvoyants tell me that Holan is fairly liberal about such things, as long as they don't overstep their bounds, don't affect the quality of their duties, and, most importantly, remain secret. And if they are caught doing their dirty work, they'll get a beating just for the sake of protocol and edification.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:19

"Are you sure you got the right key, Ari?" The first one, the taller one, asks.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:20

"Mm-hmm. I'm sure. I remember what it looks like." And the other one is the one who was licking a dancer's feet the other day. And not just feet. And not just licked.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:23

"Are you sure the old man won't wake up?" The nervous one asks the same annoying question.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:23

"Uh-huh. Barik sleeps so that you can't wake him up with a bell until the sun comes up." Soothes the licker. "And anyway, don't make any noise. We're already at risk."

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:24

"I'm not noisy!" Even louder objected the first. "And anyway, since it's a risk, why did you come here yourself, friend?"

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:25

"I didn't have time for dinner, so I went in. And in general, be quiet."

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:25

"I know why you didn't have time and what you had for dinner," she muttered, a little angrily, but still quietly.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:27

"Jealousy in silence, my dear." The attempt at embarrassment was ignored with truly regal grace.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:28

"I like men, you shameless girl! Why should I envy you at all?" She almost burst into flames, tilting the flickering lamp dangerously, whose flame was about to fade.

Camrad_RIP 03.02.22 в 11:29