Его не звали, но он приперся / They never called, yet he is here: Глава 15

Chapter 15

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 12:22

After nearly twenty-four hours of sweet, dreamless sleep, the road back felt like a flight of wings. Part of it was really flying because I regularly switched to the shadow form when I didn't want to have to deal with obstacles. Before I flew back to the farmhouse that our company had occupied, I'd rather fly around it and look around, just in case I saw something nasty. Fortunately, no one seemed to have stormed the place during my absence, so everything remained unchanged except the apples. The harvest was already finished, though no one was in a hurry to process the fruit into cider and liqueurs.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 17:21

I stepped out of the shadowstep inside the walls, causing a passing maid to shriek softly and almost drop a pile of washed sheets, which she was purposefully carrying somewhere. However, the subcortical directives left there by Taria had calmed her down quickly, forcing her to greet my appearance with a calm and polite smile.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 17:22

"Does the master want something?"

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 17:22

To be honest, I wanted to respond with the typical for Earth forums "show me your tits," but, first of all, she would not understand the joke, and secondly, she would do as she was told, still smiling politely. I don't mind that much, but I still remember Taria's promise not to get off of me until I was satisfied. Of course, a hot bath seemed like a much more pleasant experience for me right now, but I'm all for that later. And, come to think of it, so do I during my bath time.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 17:25

"Water. Hot. Lots of it." After a pause, I give out, still refusing the tempting scenario. "To my chambers."

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 17:25

Still smiling politely and placidly, the maid ducked past the slightly wrinkled me and followed her orders. The shadow actually helped me stay clean and not stink. But all the same, this much time without a normal bath was a bit much. And it's not so much the dirt that torments me as the banal fatigue, primarily moral. These days I have not only not relaxed, but I have also kept my ass cheeks so tight that they could cut a rail. The slightest error on my part would have caused, if not death, then certainly problems, and the constant readiness to fight and retreat, hanging at the back of my mind, was no more exhausting than the fight or retreat itself.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 17:34

In short, I wanted to eat, sleep, and fuck a willing Taria, and there was an almost insensible barrier to be overcome that separated me from these actions. That is, to simply announce my return to the team. So that everyone would know that the commander was not wandering in unknown lands (read: shitholes), but was back to his native, as far as this temporary base can be native, shores. The more so that my comrades themselves, for sure, were already three times fed up with the continuous waiting, without the possibility of even going out or to the pub. The only thing left to do was to play dice and play cards and taste the ill-fated cider.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:28

I expected a certain reaction to my appearance, preferably joyful, but the expression on Hans' and Losius' faces, both of whom were already quite tipsy, was a little off-putting. First, there was a storm of joy, then thoughtfulness, and then sincere sadness, sadness, and burning guilt, which immediately made me start to have bad suspicions in my heart. These suspicions immediately began to be confirmed when the boys did explain the reasons for their mental torment:

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:30

"Forgive us, Tin." The unbrushed Losius spoke, tugging awkwardly at the cuff of the sleeve of his crumpled shirt, not noticing how dirty (for the always-clean Losius!) his fingers were staining the embroidered fabric. "We couldn't keep her safe. I'm so sorry."

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:31

"I warned her! I told her! Don't do it, I told her! It's a mistake, I said!" Hans, whose cracked voice could barely contain his anguish and rage, echoed the nobleman. "But she would not listen to me ... So young, so foolish, eh ... foolish girl!"

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:32

A thousand possible scenarios of events that ended with the death of my partner ran through my head, and the thought that clichés should not be underestimated was beating in my head. What kind of an isekai would go on a dangerous mission, leaving alone a woman with whom he had just had a heart-to-heart talk and who had promised to sleep with him on his return! It's a fucking combo! And when you consider the rest of the coincidences with the standards of classic fantasy adventure novels, it's even a triple-f*cking combo! I couldn't say that I was overwhelmed with guilt and immense sadness, but the situation itself touched something deep within my callous soul.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:33

And then my brain turned on, and I remembered that my clairvoyance insisted that Taria was quite alive and not even too ill. And the shadow sphere, to which I was so accustomed that at times I no longer noticed, also pointed out to me the location of the perfectly alive and moving girl who was now in her room. Only then did I realize that both of my companions were still talking:

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:34

"I told the silly girl that pie wasn't fresh anymore, but she knows better than anyone! She ate worse than that when she was hungry! And we're both just gluttonous woodpeckers who are wasting good food!"

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:35

I stared at both men, twitching my left eyelid at the same time, out of great sadness, and then they both started coughing and then laughing openly. And these are my faithful fucking companions, trolling their own leader and inspirer as if they were a couple of pathetic bitards!

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:36

"Fucking morons!" I nail them with a powerful argument and walk away in a halo of coolness and superiority over humans, elves, and other upright people.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:37

I must have imagined because it couldn't be, that my answer went unheard as the two drunken degenerates continued to roar like two angry horses who ate two buckets of marijuana cones instead of hay and ate half a pound of amphetamine. But of course, it was just imagination.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:38

Taria looked alive, full of hatred for the world, and a little barbaric. I mean, her color was barbaric, which was orcish, green, or rather, greenish. There were huge blue bags under her eyes, just like the ones I get when I overdo alchemy or am just really exhausted. The waste basin next to her and several jugs of water with which she was giving herself an impromptu gastric lavage completed the picture of food poisoning in a medieval setting.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:41

Actually, if you are seriously poisoned, you can die of stupidity, especially if the source of the poisoning was stale meat, but here it was not so sad. The clairvoyance clearly stated that after a few more hours of suffering and the girl would recover. I don't even know what to think about it? Maybe someone had cursed me and my love life so that the only partner in my field of vision would be Ygra alone forever? I wouldn't be the least bit surprised even by such a f*cking thing, for it fits perfectly into the phantasmagoria that surrounds me.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:42

"Are you going to laugh, too, like those two idiots?" The irritated victim of bad cuisine asks in a weak voice. "And by the way, welcome back, good to see you. I would have hugged you, but, as you can see, I'm a little mopey."

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:43

"I'm not going to laugh, although there are a few jokes on my tongue." I'm going into denial right away, pretending that I wasn't going to hit her with witty comments. "I just want to let you know that I actually have some of my medications in my room, and there are plenty of them that can help with food poisoning. And not just food poisoning, if you think about it."

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:45

"Goddamn it! Why didn't I think of that, I'm so stupid and naive! What a wretch!" Taria splayed her hands dramatically, clearly playing for the audience. "I wish all your jars were labeled so I could tell one from the other just by taste. But if I tasted like that for a long time, the stale beef would be the least of my problems."

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:47

I scratched the back of my head, understanding the rightness of the former bandit, and at the same time reminding myself to mark not only the complexes of enhancing and healing potions issued to associates but also the usual first aid kit, so as not to repeat this circus with the horses.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:48

"So, do I need to make you some kind of mixture to make you feel better?" More of an assertion than a question.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:48

"I told you I was glad to see you, didn't I?" Despite her unhealthy appearance, she still puts on an innocent, charming face. "Very, very happy!"

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:53

I hum and hide in a shadow step, going to my room, where with a quick search using the method of poke, the hope and swearing, I find at once a set of drugs that should help a lady in trouble.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:54

"By the way!" I noticed after Taria had drunk two of the potions and chewed a little bit of the bitter pill. "You could have just drank the healing potion instead of waiting for me to show up, especially since I might have stayed longer."

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:55

Before my eyes, the fresh-faced beauty, whose appearance was quickly acquiring its usual smooth and predatory beauty, looks incredulously in my direction, as if she were looking at an amphibrach-speaking ram. Eventually, she chooses the right words from her point of view:

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:56

"Don't take me for a complete fool, Tin. I'm from the city of adventurers, after all! And more than once I've heard stories about how bad it can be after the medicinal stuff. It's just like what I've been going through, shitting and puking farther than you can see, except for the rash all over the body. Why are you laughing?"

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 18:57

And one young but promising Mystical Alchemist in my face was laughing, almost to tears. And no, the reason for my laughter was not because of the dose of cheerful drugs I took.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:17

"What a comparison, Taria! That's flattering! As if I put in your first-aid kits the primitive rubbish, with which it is easier to kill the wounded than to pull out from the other world! Wake up, my dear, my compounds can already be sold by weight in gold, and those of them that go to you even for three times their weight together with the container that holds them!" Trying to pronounce the words through uncultured laughter makes my eyes go dark, but I just can not stop, apparently, from the nervous discharge after my adventures.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:18

"B-but... But we all suffered after the thugs' camp, didn't we?" The girl desperately clings to her version of events. "You gave us that new stuff to make us feel better, didn't you?"

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:19

"Yes, I did, because in addition to the passive regeneration potion, you had a whole bunch of other shit in you that allowed you to fight on equal terms with the veteran thugs. And alone, my formulas are almost harmless."

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:20

Further comments of the woman, who realized that she had tortured herself for nothing and endured all the symptoms of poisoning, and also the snide comments of her associates, whose help she first rejected arrogantly, and then did not ask for out of pride, I think I will not mention, because among them not only prepositions but even pauses between words could not be considered censorious.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:21

"It's good to have you back, Tin." Glumly declared, sobered by the spray I'd made on the fly, Losius. "We were beginning to chew the walls with boredom. If we'd had a little more time, we might have done something bad that we would have regretted later."

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:23

The sullenness of the aristocrat was ensured not only by his sobriety, but also by the fact that my mixture took away the hangover not immediately, but with a slight delay in time. So the guys would not suffer from headaches and dryness for twenty-four hours, but they would have to suffer for a couple of hours. Although, I can't rule out the possibility that they really feel bad, and I'm not talking about their joke right now. It's a miracle they didn't get so drunk that they got really serious, with all the trouble that goes with it. I suppose it was my absence and the team's awareness that I was out there doing dangerous work and that all they had to do was sit around and wait for the results of my activities. In such an environment, even very hardened personalities could lose their nerve, and all three of my friends (even Taria, who had matured) are warriors and fighters, not professional secret agents and saboteurs.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:29

So it's not just a stone in their garden, but in mine, too, and I'll get even more of it. I had behaved somewhat irresponsibly, as I now realize. I was too keen on the idea of revealing the veil of a dark secret that hid the Mechanism of the Summoning, and so I lost all sense of purpose when I set out to "adventuring". At least I hadn't lost my sense of caution. Otherwise, I could have gone straight to the attack, to show my courage and not worry about problems. The paranoia of the bastards in the fortress was a good thing if you look at it that way. All those defenses had managed to sober me up and take away my sense of false invulnerability. If the defenses had been weaker, I could have ignored the risks and gotten myself in so much trouble, I could have hanged myself.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:32

"I fucking affirm. Your return, especially in one piece, is great news. But I still say your face was priceless!" Hans never betrays himself, managing to find a way to poke fun at everyone and everything, even when he's screwed up.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:36

"Clowns." I'm going to tell you bluntly. "All three of you."

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:37

"And the Green Boobs?" The only lady among those present is indignant. "How could you forget her?"

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:38

"And she doesn't..." I was going to say "not trolling" here, but thinking back on all the episodes of our communication with her, I am beginning to doubt that fact, too, because she has a very sly face.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:38

"Not fucking?" Pouring poison on the bandit, finishing my sentence for me.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:39

"This, too." I don't fall for provocation. "Anyway, now that the greetings are over, I suggest we get down to business. Go to your rooms to your beds, and don't resist when I put you to sleep. We'll do the briefing and planning in Dream, or I won't have time for stories if I don't use that method. Only I will take a bath, and I advise you too - the hour is late."

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:44

"Well, at least it's not training again." The girl stood up with a doomed look from the table where the evening conversation was taking place. "I've had it up to here with your " imaginary" goblins, who for some reason fight in a way that some of the more experienced thugs can't. That's why they're always poking me in the liver with their iron, isn't it, Tin?"

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:45

"Because you don't cover it with a block, stupid!" Hans interjects. "If you've decided to use a dagger and crossbow as your primary weapon, then don't be lazy, okay?"

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:46

"Yes, daddy!" And then it came back to me. "Tin, let me take a bath with you, or these two will bring me to tears! I'll cry, I'll be offended, and I'll also stop eating!"

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:46

"You really ought to eat less food whose freshness is justifiably questionable.' She is already being teased by Losius, who convinces me that my pernicious influence of the network troll has already begun to infect even his pure and innocent soul, which makes me feel warmth of sincere pride in my heart.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:49

"I think I'll consider your offer after the briefing, despite how tempting it is." I politely decline. "It is better to do it now, while my memory is fresh and you are still sober."

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:50

That last banter was good enough to earn me an overzealous halo of indifference from Losius and two simultaneous obscene gestures from Hans and Taria. Well, they're almost back to normal now, getting back into shape, so to speak.
* * *

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:51

"Holy shit! They're all fucked up and over the edge and further up their asses!!!?' If anyone was impressed by the spectacle of the positions prepared by the opponents, it was poor Hans.

Camrad_RIP 14.07.22 в 19:51