Его не звали, но он приперся / They never called, yet he is here: Глава 34

Chapter 34

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 15:52

"I'm sorry, perhaps last night's libations have taken a bit of a toll on my mental health, but it sounded to me like you, Tin, had just confessed to all of us that you were not only telling the Deities to fuck off, but the Creators themselves? Don't take this as an insult, but maybe you'll tell us now that it was a joke. Just to restore my sanity, if you don't mind."

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 16:23

The recounting of the beginning of my adventures on Alurej, the curiosity in the Hall of Choice, the selection of my classes and artifact, and the involvement of Bobik, made Losij go a little over the edge. There he was, switching to the high speech trying to convince himself that he'd just overheard what he'd said.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:17

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" There was no need to simulate outrage because I was genuinely offended by such mean insinuations against me. "I told you directly that I didn't tell those f*ckers to go fuck themselves, but only politely asked if they were fucking nuts!"

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:18

For some reason, my perfectly logical sentence, which was supposed to reassure the whole group, listening with interest to my personal story (edited a bit), caused the opposite feelings. Hans just silently choked on the firewater poured into his flask (real, 100% dwarf made!), Losij made a classic earthy facepalm, and even Tarija, who is supposed to be the perfect woman, looked at me like she was planning to knock me out right now and drag me to the mental hospital.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:20

"Oh, you're just panicking!" I realized that my listeners had lost a bit of coherent speech, so I decided to continue the story as if nothing had happened. "I survived, I'm standing here in front of you, so it's okay."

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:21

"You know, Tin, that's what surprises me the most." The aging tracker sums it up philosophically, clears his throat of the wrong booze, and then adds a weighty ending. "Fucked up, of course."

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:24

"I have to agree with you, Hans, this is a truly outrageous situation." Losij came to his senses, and he interrupted his facepalm. As has our whole life since that unfortunate expedition."

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:25

"Fuck it!" With glowing eyes, Tarija interrupts the aristocrat's attempt at philosophizing. "What happened next?"

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:26

Well, at least someone is interested in my story if she hasn't decided to grind her pretense again. I remember where I left off, and then proceed to continue the story.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:27

"Well, well, well!" Once again I'm interrupted, not allowed to continue my rant, only this time it's by Hans. "I may not have been in high society, but I've seen enough contrabasses floundering under interrogation, bitch! Of course, I'm not going to squeeze your balls to get answers, but what's with all the eye-rolling? Don't tell me, but you really have the face of a kid caught red-handed in the women's baths!"

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:28

And he laughed, the bastard! I have a mental trauma here that I'm trying to work through, and he's making jokes about it. The point, though, is quite obvious - I really do need better control of my face. Or rather, I can lie better than most, just as I can tell the truth without anyone believing me. But I am not able to speak bluntly, giving away secrets. A breach in my upbringing, you might say - no one will tell the truth on the Internet, as it is customary.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:30

"If it's about your artifact, we all don't want anything from you, Tin." Losij raised his hands conciliatorily, clearly stressing the word "all," while looking at Tarija, who was bursting with curiosity. "I am well aware that many great relics lose a great deal of potential if the nature of their abilities becomes known. No one will condemn you for this mystery, that's my word."

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:31

How does that little twerp even manage to talk in a way that makes even me feel a little guilty. And I don't really want to make a secret out of the damn Ring! But fuck your grandmother! I don't feel comfortable talking about this shit with my mates. It's like showing someone the contents of a locked folder on your computer with three terabytes of instructional videos, only even scarier.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:32

"I wish it were that easy!" With irritation I declare. "Anyway, as I said before, I grabbed my mythical bullshit by literally being in flight after another kick of their omnipotence..."

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:37

"I have yet to meet anyone who combines mythical artifacts and "bullshit" in the same sentence." The duelist, who clearly enjoys this conversation, makes a caustic comment. After all, I was usually the one who trolled them, albeit lightly, and here is a chance to pay me back in the same coin.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:38

I wait for a legitimate elbow strike from both sides (from Hans, so as not to interfere with listening, and from Tarija for wanting to make a similar joke herself), which interrupts the chatterer, and then I continue.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:39

"Anyway, when I first read the description of this delightful creation, all the goblins in the neighborhood could hear my foul language. I was ready to trade this crap for five kilos of buckwheat, a warm blanket, and a normal knife... Then, however, I upgraded my levels and class abilities, but, honestly, this thing was nothing but trouble for me!"

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:41

Three silent and questioning glances hinted 'stop dragging the cat by the testicles'. Like 'We'll listen to you, of course, but it's time to get ready to go because we've already spent half the day drinking'.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:43

"Fuck it, look it, and don't tell me you didn't see this mockery of my fragile and vulnerable psyche!" With these words I dropped to the three of them an almost complete description of my ring, hiding only the active anti-admin skill. I decided to save the latter for the last resort.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:44

Apart from that, the artifact didn't get any new abilities, though I hoped it would. On the other hand, it's probably a good thing that it didn't. Otherwise, I'm afraid of what they can do there, at high levels. It's better to leave it unchanged.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:44

"Before you, especially you, little bird of speckled hair, start stirring up the wind, I'll point out that I really did lead him to death!" Tarija spoke up immediately, having just realized the message she'd received. I'm sure she's justifiably worried about my reputation, given the effect of the ring, and she doesn't want Hans or Loisij to see me as a treacherous rapist.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 14:46

"Well, I knew something like that from the beginning, even before this conversation. Though I didn't rule out the possibility that Tin had managed to inspire you to a new path with words alone. He's pretty good at it, I admit." Losij didn't even think to accuse his battlemate of anything, and it would have been strange to do otherwise. "Especially since he could do anything he wanted to you for trying to kill you. Including something far worse than a slave collar and an invitation to a bed."

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:46

"If only he'd fucked me!" The woman's resentment was not easy at all. "He's just like you, little birdie, all in his principles, like a dancer in ribbons! He, you see..."

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 14:48

Tarija's indignation is quickly interrupted by the extremely cold stare of a real fucking aristocrat of an unknown generation who has just been insulted.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 14:52

"Please be careful what you say to me and to the man who saved my life more than once. For what you tried to do, the only reward is death, and you know that very well. The fact that my friend not only did not kill you but that he did not take advantage of his position and power over you only further convinces me of his nobility. His, not yours. And to endure insults, taking them without offense, I am ready from him, not from you. Be kind, and remember this."

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 14:54

Now that was strong!

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 19:47

It felt good, too, especially knowing that he wasn't lying one bit and that he was telling the truth. I could write a book called "How to Make Faithful Friends". However, I doubt that the general public will be able to fulfill those points in which it is required to meet the legendary monsters several times, to strengthen the bonds of friendship.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 14:55

Tarija, on the other hand, looked angrily, exclusively at the "motley bird," who was, a priori, everything that the lady could not stand. And the way he reminded her of her own mistakes in a way that was not at all subtle was mildly infuriating. Still, she was just beginning to change, not completely abandoning her old habits and judgments. When I saw the former bandit's hands trembling, as if they were eager to grab a knife or pull down the corset of her dress, I decided not to cause a scandal in the team.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 14:57

"Have you finished?" I asked, looking as if I were interrupting a family quarrel, but I didn't let him answer. "Then I'll say something, too, if you'll excuse me. You, Tarija, should not think that a single decision automatically allows you to forget all your past mistakes. If you've made up your mind, do it, not boast that you've made this decision, hiding behind my back and making faces from there."

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 15:00

It hurt, and it stung, thanks to my titles, but it was effective. Still, Tarija was jealous of those of my comrades who had been with me from the beginning, and then she tried to drown them out, making herself look good in my eyes. That's why I answered harshly, making it clear at once that I would not tolerate quarrels in the party, nor any unnecessarily long and caustic tongues.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 16:00

"For you, Losij, I'll tell this: every human being and every other rational being has the right to choose. Always has been and always will be. And so do the consequences of that choice, coming from your actions. And then the choice will be made for you, for example, by trying to work the effects of an artifact on you. The previous choice brought her under that same influence. I decided to let her choose once more, instead of the choice I made for her."

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 16:03

I didn't expect myself to say it, but it had an effect. It affected Losij, and it affected Tarija. The aristocrat only nodded briefly, acknowledging my rightness, and stopped radiating contempt and disdain for the one he'd mistaken for a common "bed-warmer". Let's leave out the moral issues of the local society since even such a well-bred and relatively adequate representative of noble blood saw nothing wrong in creating a personal sex slave (even if from a criminal and a murderer).

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 16:06

Tarija didn't reduce her anger or her desire to teach the "insolent aristo" a lesson, but she pulled herself together, too. She wasn't about to lose her chance, especially over one annoying kid. Alone, for she had nothing against Hans, with whom she was almost on the same wavelength. Still, if I were Losij, I wouldn't relax... for now.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 16:10

Fuck.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 16:10

A virtually impossible mission to save or take over the world, enormous potential powers, the promise of adventure and treasure, and now quarrelsome companions. I don't fucking get it: am I an accidental traveler or a fucking Commander Shepard?

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 16:11

All the pathos of the moment was broken by a loud, full and incredibly satisfied burp from Hans, who had managed to finish the contents of the flask and decided to ask the world his question.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 16:12

These speeches of yours are very interesting, but are we going out tonight, or will we stay up all night and go out tomorrow? I'm just warning you, we're about to run out of booze.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 16:12

Hans... you just...

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 16:13

"Hans, you're like always, I swear to Heaven! Have you even anything holy, eh? It seems to me that you can even taint the coming of all the good gods, you bloody drunkard!"

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 16:13

However, all things have a price, and loyal companions who can cover your back, are certainly worth a few minutes of scandal. And probable problems in the future. And the constant tension in the team. And the fact that I'm sure to be often yanked on the little things, like an umpire. And a lot of other things...

Camrad_RIP 24.01.22 в 16:14

I hope I'm right after all.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 20:28

"No, come on, Tin, confess! I'm dying to know! Who else, huh?" Hans would not calm down, trying to get the truth out of me, and not embarrassed at all. He said I didn't have to answer before, though! Apparently, that was before it was about boobs, I mean, women.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 20:29

From my remarks, it was clear to the guys (and the girl!) that it was the second time the ring had been applied to Tarija. And now they were torturing me about "who was the first," literally cornering the poor isekai.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 20:30

"I realize, of course, that such inquiries are very personal, but amidst the uncivilized behavior of the rest of your companions, I will only note that I would not mind hearing the answer to this question." As if to indicate his polite interest unintentionally, the swordsman... for the eighth time in the last half hour.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 20:28

"Tell me! Well, at least tell me if she's beautiful! Come on, Tin! Come on, tell me!" Tarija, who suddenly realized that she could stop being "the only one," immediately showed her bulterer's grip and almost start torturing me.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 20:13

At that moment, I felt a strange urge to use my shadowy steps and run away from this crazy company. It would be better if I were back on Earth, in my own apartment.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 20:10

"Did you find a goblin?" Hans doesn't take too long to come up with all sorts of versions. "I've seen a few half-breeds, and they're all right if you're really drunk. Smallish, of course. Or was it an orc? My first sergeant, God rest his soul, said they were almost all right, even purebreds!"

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 20:10

Man, great almighty Administrator, tell me, why am I surrounded by such dickheads? Is it just because I'm like them myself?

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 20:08

"It was a swamp ogre." After choosing a moment when these sickos would simultaneously pause for another breath, I decided to unleash the truth on them and stop this mess.

Camrad_RIP 23.01.22 в 20:08