Господин Барон / The Baron: 1

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"And get this - this peckerwood is in all seriousness trying to ask me for a pass to take out valuables! From me!"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 20:43

I nodded, not listening to the details, and looked suspiciously at the figures in the report. It was clear that half of them were fake, and I had to determine this half somehow, so as not to screw up, making claims.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 20:43

"Then I take him by Adam's apple and demand, step by step, a written list of claims to the person being taken out, his job description, a documented confirmation of his ability to determine the value of the item being taken out, and so on! Then I demand the idiot who put this fool on the post to come, and then I start to find out..."

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 20:44

I did not listen to what happened next, as there were at least a dozen similar stories with my boss a month. He did not count on attention, though; he was interested in something else: to interfere with my work as much as possible.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 20:45

As Mitrich himself states, the main task in his position is to spoil the life of his employees in every way enough to make them start working, but not so much that they scatter. At first, I thought he was joking, but it was absolutely serious. The principle was implemented strictly as worded. How Mitrich managed to be a good manager, a high-class specialist, and just a normal person at the same time was still a secret to me. As soon as I figured it out, I would become a supervisor myself. Despite the fact that I had no clue whatsoever about the core business of our office.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 20:48

While Mitrich was ranting about the mischief of the working youth in his youth, I was looking through the papers, trying to find something I could understand without a reference book. I don't know anything about construction, and I'm not going to study, which doesn't prevent me from being deputy head of the department for five years now. They seem to be happy with me. I don't get involved in the small stuff. I do the day-to-day stuff, sometimes I allow myself to be yelled at. Sometimes I yell myself (only at the bosses, for which I have some respect from the employees), I get into the position of my subordinates, giving them a little indulgence (which they then repay a hundredfold). I look for budget leaks (very carefully, so as not to find something that does not need to be found), I drink vodka and tea with various people, in general, I create the appearance of employment.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 20:50

/I am considered to be a "good specialist". Many people even think I am "cool man". Sometimes everyone agrees that I'm a "top bastard," which happens when I get the blame for bonus cuts or staff reductions. In reality, I just work the best I can. Somebody has to, right?

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 20:51

"And what do you think? This fool didn't look after the "monkeys", and as a result, there were exactly five centimeters between the toilet and the closed door! But between the cistern and the wall - a meter! Can you believe it?"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 20:52

I nodded and wrote out a few phrases from the report on a sheet of paper with a satisfied smile. That's it, they're not going anywhere now! With pleasure, I poked my fist into the side of the director sitting on my desk. I took a couple of papers out from under his ass, compared them with what was written out, handed them over for review, and finally stretched myself out.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 20:53

"Mitrich! Such a nice day, and what are you doing? You're bullying the good guys, terrorizing your subordinates? Why did you make a trainee chase the workers with a stick?"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 20:55

He looked at the data and sniggered:

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 20:56

What can we do, we can't afford to be kind with such a budget. We have to motivate the proletariat somehow. As our beloved boss says, money has to come hard, otherwise, you don't appreciate it! Besides, I called the ambulance in advance!

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 20:57

The gray-haired, heavy, solid man, a respected professional in his field, suddenly jumped quietly from his desk, crept up to the door, and kicked it open. The secretary sitting in her seat looked at him with an undisguised sneer and turned away to the unchanging "solitaire". We knew she was eavesdropping on our activities in her office, but we had never been able to catch her in the act. Nor had we ever been able to find out what she was doing when no one was looking at her. She pretended to be playing solitaire. But we already figured out that it was the same batch, which Olechka had kept even three years ago. We even looked for a hint as to which cards were involved in the puzzle. We didn't find anything.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 20:59

Mitrich sighed, turned to me, and nodded over his shoulder:

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 20:59

"Maybe one of the juniors could try to spy on her? I've heard there are special spyware programs on the computer, huh?"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:00

"No way. They are more afraid of her than of us."

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:01

The owner of a red diploma and the title of "master of sports" in judo "Mad Behemoth" Olechka nodded accordingly, touched the map with her cursor, but did not move it. It seems to me that when she does, something will happen in the world. Something terrible.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:02

"Oh, I feel something bad. That redhead is digging at us!" Mitrich hands curled up and immediately, without transition, as is typical of him, jumped to another topic. "We must look for a new programmer. Anyone in mind? And let's go eat already!"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:03

We stepped out into the corridor, where employees were hanging back and forth (which mean very important work needs).

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:04

"Wasn't there a candidate? I heard - experience, seniority, all that?"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:05

"Yeah, right out of college, but with five years of experience. He registered his own firm in his first year, and every six months he promoted himself in it. He was listed as a top-class specialist by his diploma, even though he was moonlighting on small jobs!" Mitrich shook his gray head approvingly.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:05

"You fired him?"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:06

"Such a talent?! What for? I put him in the planning department. Let him gain real experience."

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:07

"That's not a good thing you did, they'll teach him bad things. Drunkenness, lashes, sodomy - that's what this planning department of yours is all about."

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:07

The two female planners standing waiting for the elevator chuckled in a pleasing way.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:08

"Let them teach him! Let him work for them, let him soak up the hatred of everything living and breathing, and in six months we'll transfer him. To work with clients!"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:10

"Right away with the customers? Don't you feel pity for him?"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:11

"If he doesn't survive then not. Woe to the loser!"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:11

"How did the hiring clerk let him in?"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:11

"She went straight into maternity, taking the secret with her. Who would she give birth to?"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:12

The employees next to us in the elevator struggled to pretend they weren't listening. Their ears turned toward us and twitched excitedly.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:13

"After fifteen years in human resources? I don't know, but it's already scary! Who's there now?"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:13

"Another "seniority, experience." The kind of "how I see myself in the company in three years"!"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:14

"So how do you see yourself in three years?"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:15

"Signing your execution order!"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:17

"You have a really imaginative mind! Why don't we fire the fool before she gets used to it?:

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:18

And we sighed sadly in unison. It's a painful issue. It's easy to fire, but who's going to work?

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:18

"At least this one has a nice ass. Speaking of asses, where's the chief?"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:19

"Contrary to all the rumors, he does not report to me."

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:19

Having neither specialized education nor any special abilities, I got the position thanks to my connections.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:20

The Chief says he hired me because of my last name. In fact, he is just nostalgic for the times when our friendly band of young rascals helped him earn his first billion while making the first real money of their lives. We met not on the best day of my life, and absolutely by chance, we got to talking... It must have been quite a scene - in the middle of a dull autumn public garden, a drunken, gloomy man in a tattered jacket was sitting on a bench, and a small, well-dressed fatty in a suit that cost the average citizen an apartment, jumped on him with cries of "Remember that?"

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:21

One word at a time, he offered me a job. The only condition I put forward was a separate office. I can't stand common rooms, crowding, chattering, and other office pleasures. In my opinion, whoever invented "open office" with "cubicles" (what a shitty word!) was a messenger of Satan on Earth. I demanded it as a joke, expecting nothing good from life, only I did not take into account the specifics of the level to which my former friend had ascended.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:24

After two days, Mitrich looked at me perplexedly and wiggled his gray eyebrows, trying to think of occupation and position that would correspond to a separate office, a good salary, and zero knowledge of the subject. As a result, I became "deputy director for general affairs," a kind of personal adjutant, in charge of everything and always to blame for everything. Mitrich has a good sense of humor, so after the expulsion of the former accounting department (which provided me personally with a friendly hatred of these evil creatures of the Abyss) and a slight redesign of the premises, we settled in two adjacent offices with a common reception area. On his door was a sign "Dmitri Ivanovich Katorgin", on mine "Alexander Nikolayevich Mogila".
T.N.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:26

The Chief thinks we make a great couple.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:29

After lunch, cunningly directing the attention of the supervisor to the randomly chosen victim and opening the window to let in a little air, I sat down in my chair and moved another stack of papers, trying to figure out what they wanted from us this time. I mean, it's clear what, money, but under what excuse?

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:30

I spent the next two hours struggling through a pile of fancy-looking specific terms while dreaming of a rack and whips for the head of the exploitation department and tea and cake for myself.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:31

Dreams were interrupted by a knock on the already open door.

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:31

"Alexander Nikolayevich, there... to you."

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:32

"I'm not here."

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:32

Olechka looked around, then shook her head negatively:

Camrad_RIP 17.11.21 в 21:32