Господин Барон / The Baron: Глава 19

Chapter 19

The wooden, iron-clad wheels of the cannon carriage were slowing things down, and I had to hold back the squires who were rushing into the fray. I stared dumbly out the window as neat little houses with orange roofs crept by, people going about their business. It was as if we were not going to war.

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 09:07

The conversation with the policeman of Eskenborg evoked a sense of deja vu - he listened to me carefully, asked me to wait until he called back a fellow Gravsteinian, and then regretfully said that he was right. And he, too, suddenly had urgent business to attend to. I couldn't even swear properly in astonishment. This is the police. They are governed by federal laws. They are notified of an offense, a threat to public order, finally! And what? A finger in the face instead of help?

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 16:04

Suppressing the urge to throw the phone out the window, I tapped my fingers on the helmet on my lap, trying to calm down. There, I calmed down. The noise of the wheels behind me, now on the tarmac, now on the stones of the towns we pass through, the radio playing something local, a singer singing. What to do now?

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 16:05

What lay ahead was no great mystery - all the barons had been brought together, and I was blocked. If it hadn't been for an over-active Leser, we would have been under siege until it was over. I could guess who had set it up. Why, again, I know. Well, it's clear now. I should have taken Fritz to the torture chamber when I had the chance, though I was a fool. I mean, not as a substitute for the playful hottie, but as a natural victim. All right, everybody's smart in hindsight. What to do? If the Knights hadn't gone bust, I'd assemble a squad of police, write them out an order to sort it out - they wouldn't go anywhere. They'd comply. Or is that out of their hands? I hadn't slept the night before, and my mind was a muddle. Where were my eighteen years and days of student binge drinking?

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 16:07

"Approaching, Sir Baron."

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 16:07

"Eggie, I remember there was an observation deck here."

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 16:08

"And now there is. Shall we go there?"

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 16:08

"Before attacking, it's a good idea to find out what's going on in the enemy camp."

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 16:09

"Got it!"

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 16:09

The Eskeborgians looked at our motorcade of three cars plus a vintage cannon quite favorably. A policeman who met us on the way nodded in agreement when asked if he was aware of the coup being prepared and, with a polite smile, assured us that everything was proceeding as it should and that measures would be taken. Then he turned to an elderly woman and began to explain something to her in a friendly and detailed manner.

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 16:11

No, I will never understand the locals after all.

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 16:11

I remembered a saying from school: "A crown for the bold, a scepter for the brave, a throne for those who say 'I will take it and I will not give it back'". - They don't make a coup to take it all back. They have plenty of examples in history, but why... even my knights ran away! Damn them.

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 16:16

Actually, I used to have my suspicions about Eggie - just vague ones. But this kind of fun was out of his league. But I knew exactly who could do it. I wish I knew how many men they had. We've got some locked up in Gravstein's cellars, but they must have some in hand. And I'm the eighth man with a gun. Loaded. Hope the cannonball will not fall out from the jolt. Shit, I'm not thinking... thinking what?

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 16:17

The observation deck was now packed with the morning's active children. Luckily, there was no waiting in line; a few older tourists, clearly recognizing me, parted the way, pulling the little ones aside. I handed my helmet to the squire and, after a respectful toss of a coin, ignoring the enthusiastic chirping of the two girls who were pushing each other away from the nearby binoculars, I surveyed the coming battlefield.

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 17:09

Eskenborg Castle was rebuilt at the beginning of the last century. While Gravstein, in the hands of its barons, was quietly dilapidated and falling apart, here, in the county capital, the castle bought back from its owners served as a museum and main attraction. Everything was repaired and painted, a beautiful garden was laid out around it, and arbors, pavilions, and galleries were built. The restoration was European-beautiful and Eskeland-appropriate - one side was decorated with rough castle walls, and the other had a typical palace façade with wide windows and balconies overlooking the square... Unfortunately, the entrance from the Dark Middle Ages was on the first-floor level, and one had to go up by the bridge over the moat, which is now a flower-filled valley. Very picturesque, the bridge was still a fairly secure barrier.

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 17:17

"It's going to be hard to storm, Yor Grace... there are at least thirty people in the yard!"

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 17:18

Smartass, justifying his nickname, rushed to the sweet shop, bought a queue from three very happy kids, and was now pushing away the other squires, commenting on what he had seen. I peered out the windows that were visible from here and found nothing in them, and finally looked at the front of the castle.

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 17:21

In this direction, i.e. from the city and the palace front, there was a more convenient entrance, several doors, information boards, large window openings just off the ground... and also some sort of cordon. The familiar figures of crossbowmen, a few halberdiers, a minibus with a whole bunch of horns on the roof, and sentries by the bars, though rather relaxed, were now strolling around the spacious courtyard, where large-scale popular festivities and fairs were periodically held, with a patrol in armor. This direction was sealed off tightly.

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 17:23

No, nothing difficult for the police, but they're self-effacing, aren't they? A couple is standing off to the side, watching the shooters and doing nothing. And we can't get through from the yard.

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 17:24

Once again, I looked at the "fortress" part of the building.

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 17:24

"Eggie, any plans for the castle?"

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 17:25

"Of course, here."

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 17:25

I squinted one eye at the clipboard and began to guess where the prisoners might be. In my place, they would be in the basement, but here...

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 17:29

"Which rooms in the castle are the most historic?"

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 17:30

"These are the windows from the front façade, along the large balcony. There's the former knight's hall, where traditionally all state-level ceremonies are held."

Camrad_RIP 14.02.23 в 17:30

I could see the balcony itself, but I couldn't see into the windows from here. But it was clear that they would not let us in from the front door. The back porch, on the other hand, had to be approached and somehow got through the locked doors. At the end of a hundred yards of the bridge, there was a blank door with openings above it. And there's no telling how many people are waiting inside. But not many. So that's our way in...

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:08

After chasing away the tourists who were trying to have a selfie in front of a gun attached to the car and refusing to fire the cannon for the public's entertainment (no, not even for money... man, get the hell out of here... yes, fellow countrymen, but we've got business here... Go to hell. It's loaded! And you thought. We had a war here... and good luck to you... No, don't help...) we took the same slow drive down the same streets. Five minutes and there it was, the back door of the castle. So, what next? What did I come here for, I ask you?

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:12

"Sir Baron, what are we going to do?"

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:09

I'm not the only one who has such thoughts, I suppose. Capturing a castle with a squad of seven men!

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:14

This end of the bridge rested on a miniature semblance of a barbican. It must have once been a serious gate tower, closing the bridge passage, but time has seriously battered the structure, leaving something of a massive pergola. Tourists would simply walk through it to pay at a nearby cashier's desk and climb the three steps inside to reach a straight bridge. For us, though, those three steps were... our cannon and carriage weigh almost a ton! I started to look at the bridge itself, figuring it out, when suddenly something flashed through the loophole. The sound of an arrow striking the stones was dry and unserious and made everyone stand still for a moment before we all ran for cover in one fell swoop.

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:16

"They are shooting, Sir Baron."

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:17

"I see it!" I looked out from behind the pillar. It was impossible to see whether they were aiming at us or not. So they are.

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:18

I took another look around the inside of the barbican, the steps. There was certainly a wheelchair lift on one side. This is Europe. But the cannon obviously wouldn't go up it. We'll have to think of something. At least there was no turnstile!

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:47

My tense thoughts were distracted by the beeping of the buttons being pressed.

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:48

"Eggie, what are you doing?"

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:49

Von Schnitze Jr. looked away, frowned perplexedly, then explained cheerfully:

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:49

"This is an automatic ticket office, Sir Baron. Very handy, I worked here last year, and freelancers get a discount." He picked up the card with the picture on it. "I knew it would come in handy!"

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:51

"Eggie, what the hell are the tickets?! We're having an assault!"

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:52

"But Sir Baron, this is a museum, isn't it?" There was the sincerest incomprehension in his eyes. Waving my hand, I turned to Fisk. The guard regarded the steps with doubt.

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:52

"Shall we drag it in?"

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:53

With a perfectly international gesture of scratching the back of his head, the big man looked down at the cannon.

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:53

"Wouldn't it be easier to knock it out by hand? There's a crowbar in the car, and I have an axe."

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:54

"Eggie, is the door sturdy?"

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:54

"Authentic to the sixteenth century. The carvings were restored according to sketches of the..."

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 16:55

"So we won't."

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 17:02

"Er... Excuse me, Sir Baron, do you want to shoot the door off with a cannon?"

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 17:03

"Yes. We can only enter the castle from here. There's no time to get a ladder."

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 17:04

I was expecting cries of historical value, of that very restored carving, but once again, I was surprised:

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 17:04

"Then you have to shoot at the head level... mine. That's where the bolt is inside."

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 17:05

"Thank you, we'll take that into account. Did you hear that, Erdar?"

Camrad_RIP 15.02.23 в 17:05