Господин Барон / The Baron: 5

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That's not it. That's not it either. And this one looks like it came out of a farm hardware store...

Camrad_RIP 03.12.21 в 17:58

How about this? I shook the sword in my hand doubtfully. No, it doesn't fit the image; it's a seventeenth-century style, though it's new, and I need something older, for authority. The sword... I don't know what people see in that thing. It's a long, uncomfortable stabber, an overgrown knife. Not mine! An ax... hmm, it's a thing, though. Only, again, it doesn't fit in my hand. It's a bit long. What else?

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 11:44

And then I saw Her! The long handle, the handle's knob, the menacing shimmer of the tip.

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 11:44

I picked up the mace from the rack and took the weight and swung it crosswise... The thing! That's my kind of thing!

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 15:38

"Alexander? What happened?"

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 15:38

I automatically hid the mace behind my back and looked around at the ruined shelving unit. Wow, I was just a little bit on the corner of it.

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 15:39

It's all right, Egilbert. It just fell off for some reason.

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 15:40

The steward was frowning at the destruction, while I slipped past him into the door. I'd chosen my weapons, and now it was time to get dressed for the ceremony. It was getting light outside the window, and the doors of the castle chapel, where Ulfric son of Esar and Erraine son of Edgar had spent the night, were about to open. Supposedly in prayer, but I'd bet on a never-ending quarrel.

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 15:40

When the doors were closed last night, the two were arguing about how to repair the fence in the city garden that had been razed to the ground by rampaging barbarians (the mayor's version) and slightly scratched during patrols (the policeman's version). Since they were both local natives, it is unlikely that the dispute is already over; here everything is done thoroughly and from the bottom of heart.

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 15:51

"Your clothes, Mr. Baron."

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 15:52

"Thank you, Eggie."

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 15:52

The manager's youngest son, twenty-eight-year-old Egilbert Junior, or simply Eggy, nodded and dashed off down the stairs. Von Schnitze Sr. and I had given him the job of organizing the festivities and, more importantly, of covering the events, so he had plenty to do.

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 16:51

On second thought, I decided not to get involved in politics. These two are my "subjects," their elevation to knighthood can somehow be justified, but dreams of thick bundles of banknotes, which the millionaires, eager for the prefix "sir" to me, will remain dreams. Technically, before the council and the transfer of all rights back to the Esks, I'm some kind of "source of honor," only... The big guys might misunderstand such innuendos. I, on the other hand, can have both henchmen and squires for training, with certificates. The main thing is not to be impudent: here grabbed a penny, there farthing, here ore - you see, and accumulated something. True, according to the plan drawn up by von Schnitze, the restoration of the castle will take another twenty-three years to complete, and until then all the profits will go to this ancient pile of stones of historical significance, but... in fact, what is the hurry?

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 16:56

I picked up the two sheathed blades from the stand and moved into the courtyard.

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 17:12

The knight must be girded with a sword and fitted with golden spurs. According to the classic ceremony, he should immediately jump on a horse and prove that he is a brave rider... Yeah, right.

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 17:13

The mayor, Erraine Edgarovich, weighs a hundred and thirty kilograms, adding armor and jumping up only makes sense on a hippo because he would crush the horse. Ulfric Esarowicz, the policeman, on the contrary, is one of those little brisk fellows, who stop running around the walls and ceiling as lively as a gray-haired, decrepit old man. By the way, my knights aren't bad fighters; they happen to be local champions. In the past. They're both in their fifties, so there's not much of a hint of youth here.

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 17:14

But a lot of professionalism and life experience, and that's exactly what I need from them.

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 17:36

Nevertheless, I must gird them and give them swords. There were a couple of good blades in the castle's "knight's hall," where all the sharp, rusty iron that could be found in the area had been stolen for decoration, but I thought I'd give them something simpler. It would be too much, and the tourists have to stare at something with lust. So yesterday, before the doors of the chapel were locked behind the two contenders, I received the new models ordered from a catalog. For one, the sword would be too short, for the other too heavy, but who says it's easy to be a knight?

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 17:38

"Everything is ready, Mr. Baron."

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 18:01

"I see."

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 18:01

The courtyard, despite the early morning hours, was packed. A long red carpet was rolled out from the locked doors of the little church to the entrance to the donjon. On one side stood the officials, all in national costumes (hat, vest, round pants, wooden shoes), on the other dressed in full dress by the police. There were forty of them both, so I could get between them, but all the other disciplined subjects stood about a meter behind the guard of honor, not trying to get any closer, whispering and waving their flags, peeking at me, then at the chapel.

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 18:02

"Soon?"

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 18:02

"I think it's time, Mr. Baron."

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 18:03

The castle church, it turns out, is also a landmark.

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 18:03

There was a local saint who honored Baron Graveshtein, my predecessor, with his presence ten centuries ago. He worshipped him for three years in prison, overcame a great deal of discomfort, and finally died, for which reason he was immediately recognized as a saint - no other miracles were known to him. Nevertheless, St. Egbert was held in high esteem. The first dungeon was destroyed long ago, and a church was built in its place. Evil conquerors destroyed it, but the locals rebuilt it again, and so on six times - Esks are tenacious guys. As a result, the church is deservedly called a monument of architecture of the 12-18 centuries and looked appropriate.

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 18:36

By the way, it stood in the place where, according to legend, there was once a pagan altar.

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 18:37

Suddenly there was a nervous sneeze, and a wave of coughs went through the crowd.

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 19:03

I turned around and the head of the guard shrugged embarrassedly. "Isabel" appeared the next morning. The mustache was gorgeous, Marshal Budyonny would have been jealous! The glue was good, too. So I, trying to determine its firmness, almost lifted the poor Gascon into the air. Such rapidity both pleased and saddened at the same time - on the one hand, all my orders will be executed quickly and creatively, on the other hand, I wanted to handcuff this guy in advance. Well, I saw what I bought...

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 19:04

"Did you check the applicants?"

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 19:05

"Yes, Alexander Nikolayevich. Almost a hundred people, after lunch, as we were going to, we'll start the qualifying competitions."

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 19:06

"And don't forget to give the manager half of the money you take in bribes."

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 19:07

"Alexander Nikolaevich! How could you think that I would take..."

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 19:07

"If I thought you wouldn't take it, I would have fired you yesterday."

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 19:13

"You're slandering the poor..." he coughed. "Gascon."

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 19:14

"You're all poor when you come to the capital. D'Artagnan and you... Have you worked out the competition program?"

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 19:45

"I downloaded a typical scenario for a children's and youth party. Only instead of a box of chocolates and a pennant - an invitation to the personal henchmen of your grace."

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 19:45

"Participation Diplomas?"

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 19:46

"All done!"

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 19:50

I may have decided not to stamp sirs, but that's no reason for me not to earn extra money, is it? The applicants will get beautiful diplomas for their money and effort. So what if the diploma is two hundred times cheaper than the participant's spot? But it is nice. And with those who by cunning or force makes it to the finals, we can already work. I have a whole castle here, I need workers, preferably free. We'll have to recruit anyway, yesterday there were three full tours, and we could do one more. Egelbert was happy. Well, it's summer, it's vacation, why not recruit students? Hmm, or take those who can't run fast or whatever my head watchman is up to? Promise them not a squire place, but something else?

Camrad_RIP 04.12.21 в 19:54

The creak of the swinging gate interrupted my thoughts.

Camrad_RIP 05.12.21 в 16:32

I tried to imagine what these two were seeing now. Here they had spent all night arguing about that miserable fence and the occasional prayer. Here the door opens and Eggy steps aside, and behind him is a corridor of dense crowds and a red carpet. Police officers and officials are facing each other, a torch in each hand (the city fire inspector almost had a heart attack when he saw it), not too bright in the pre-dawn twilight, all silent, and a cool, light breeze sweeps through the courtyard. A horse is snarling, some kid quietly begging to be taken in his arms, or else he can't be seen. And at the other end of the courtyard, standing just a little (three steps, to be exact) above the crowd stands a strange type, their baron.

Camrad_RIP 05.12.21 в 16:33

A tall man, slightly unshaven, in an ancient but not local dress, wearing a high fur cap. And in his left hand, he had two swords.

Camrad_RIP 05.12.21 в 16:34

It's not right, though. The swords were supposed to be handed in by one of the guards. I just forgot to give them to him. Okay, we'll think of something.

Camrad_RIP 05.12.21 в 16:36

A tall, fat figure in a national costume and a small, thin figure in a uniform suddenly straightened up, put their chins up, and with a distinctive stamping of their step walked toward me under the admiring glances of their subordinates.

Camrad_RIP 05.12.21 в 16:42

"Did you even pray?"

Camrad_RIP 05.12.21 в 16:42

"Of course, Herr Baron! Every half hour, as it should be."

Camrad_RIP 05.12.21 в 20:15

The mayor sank to his knees, and the chamberlain did it much more gracefully. Both squinted jealously at their neighbor - the one I'm about to name will be the first knight of Eskenland in many, many years! Five minutes, maybe, but the first! I've asked, but the other barons haven't figured it out yet, and not everyone has even arrived yet.

Camrad_RIP 05.12.21 в 20:16

Erraine sniffed his nose sternly, Ulfric rubbed his cuffs nervously.

Camrad_RIP 05.12.21 в 20:17

Well, that's enough procrastination. I looked at the crowd for a second, and then I looked at my swords. There was nothing wrong with my coordination, and nowhere did it say that...

Camrad_RIP 05.12.21 в 20:17

Swords lay on the shoulders of the kneelers at the same time.

Camrad_RIP 05.12.21 в 20:18