Господин Барон / The Baron: 3

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"Deshtapto te romene!" The menacing and sad melody snapped me out of my sleep better than a kick. "Dean somnool chel de mo-arte!"

Camrad_RIP 18.11.21 в 21:44

Before I knew what was happening, I was on my feet, head-spinning to find the source of the sound and trying to untangle the bedspread I'd wrapped crosswise to escape the draft. The reason for my emergency awakening was found on the nightstand next to the bed.

Camrad_RIP 18.11.21 в 21:45

Alarm clock. Large, heavy, in a sturdy wooden case.

Camrad_RIP 18.11.21 в 21:46

With the Romanian anthem as the signal. The first line, "Wake up, Romanian, from your dead sleep" is very appropriate to the occasion, and the music is beautiful, but... The next line is about "barbarian tyrants", which is very ambiguous.

Camrad_RIP 18.11.21 в 21:52

Without deciding whether this was an elaborate mockery or a sincere attempt to flatter the national sense (one would expect from the locals, patriotism is in honor here), I decided that I would sleep no more. Especially since the great ancestors have nothing to be proud of. It's time to get down to business!

Camrad_RIP 18.11.21 в 21:53

First, I washed my face.

Camrad_RIP 18.11.21 в 22:10

It's hard to surprise a guy from a provincial Moldovan town with a basin and a jug of water, but the lack of proper plumbing... Although remembering how an acquaintance bought a two-story apartment with a view of the Kremlin and lived there for a month without a sewage system, I was happy: I had a pot. A big one, with a neat lid. I even hesitated, but the enclosed roll of modern toilet paper convinced me that it was meant to be.

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:03

When I had finished, I went to the window and looked out, leaning against the rugged stone of the ancient walls. Everything was just as von Schnitze had described - the view, the air, the beauty of the landscape. Except that the old crook had omitted certain details.

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:05

Yes, the castle stands on a rock, and the baron's chambers are also on the penultimate floor of the main building. This means that you have to go up and down five or six floors a hundred times every day. By the way - the smell of the sea is great, but in such quantities, it's called otherwise! The other side of the tower, according to the maps, overlooks a picturesque cove, where the local fishermen are based, but from here it is not visible - roofs, rooftops, roofs, lots of greenery, a piece of the castle wall, and an empty castle courtyard. It's so fucking interesting! And to top it all off - dank. For a heat-loving person like me, the local sixteen to seventeen degrees with high (the sea, after all!) humidity is a bit uncomfortable conditions.

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:07

But come on, I've had funnier situations. So, what do I have?

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:08

I am considered the baron and master of the castle, and no one is bothered by the fact that I have not been here for almost a quarter of a century. I have a steward, a rather shifty old man, a local historian. The castle is my property because I am of the noble family of Mogila, which, as I recall, has been extinct since the eighteenth century. These same noble now and then ruled, then fought with the rulers, the hell with them - how do I behave with the people? Considering that I am a savage from a distant country?

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:15

Well, first I have to look at the people.

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:17

Moldavia, Romania, Russia - hence the images merge, so to any inconsistency I simply say that this is the way we do things. Let them look for where this "we" is. In general, I only know about Romania, that there is a famous reserve of dragons. I remember from a book I read to my eldest at night. True, the book is for children, but here they may not know. Dracula is still a book character, but the historical person, so dragons may well be found. Are there any boyars? Yes, I am an example! Well, and with the rest of the mythical fauna as well. So a dragon on a personal emblem!

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:19

Mm-hmm, crawling out of a pit.

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:19

I will not impugn the real coat of arms of the Graves family - there is a standard "Moldovan bull" for our places. And life has taught me not to act like a bull. Well, I will say that in connection with the temporary occupation of Bessarabia, the family had to go into the shadows, and therefore a lot of knowledge is lost. I only remember the red field and the motto - "You can't take it!" or something like that, and then let them make it up for themselves.

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:23

Having come to terms with myself, I looked around the room with a master's eye.

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:24

The overall impression is that it's neat but poor. That is, in the local tradition. Kicking the door to the office where von Schnitze had excused himself yesterday, I took a big step forward and looked around at about two dozen people with cameras.

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:28

"God dag, Your Grace." After bowing and immediately turning his back to me, the old man continued his tour. "This is Mr. Baron himself. The noblemen of the Mogila family had a marked influence on south-eastern Europe in the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries, and we are glad that such an ancient family happened to own our place. Mr. Baron is permanently residing at the castle this summer, but he should not be disturbed.

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:29

The manager did not notice my stern look, apparently thinking that he had said everything correctly. A few of the ladies looked at me in an appraising way. Well, there was nothing to be embarrassed about, my belly wasn't hanging down, my underwear had no holes. I should have worn socks, but it's too late to be regretful.

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:30

"Goddag, Egelbert, as soon as you have finished, report to me immediately."

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:35

"Yes, Your Grace. If everyone will follow me, we're going to the refectory." The tourists obediently strode toward the exit, nodding affectionately at me. One lady, as she left, flipped her expensive camera lens up and down to try it on, and then snapped.

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:36

Judging by the direction of the scope, she was interested in my belly button.

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:37

It's a good thing I'm not in the habit of walking around naked after washing. Although it is unlikely that these can be surprised in such a way, they go for the impressions, and here - this! A living baron in his natural habitat!

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:37

By the way, I might as well go to the refectory. Or should I let the tourists feed me? Through the bars of the cage?

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:47

Von Schnitze returned when I was finishing another chapter of the "Self-Study for Beginning Feudal Lords," overcoming my hunger. And immediately he reported:

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:51

"The next tour is in three hours."

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:51

"How many tours per day?"

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 09:52

"Two on weekdays and three on weekends, but can be ordered separately."

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:03

"How much is Eskenland antiquity these days?"

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:03

"Five euros for an hour tour. In Eskeborg they charge ten, but the exhibits are much better preserved there."

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:04

The old man sighed dejectedly and shook his head.

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:04

"Is there a fee for lunch in the refectory?"

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:05

"Uh... we don't feed anybody there at all. It's been about eighty years."

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:08

"Souvenir Shop?"

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:09

"In the yard, next to the workshops." There was a new note in the manager's voice. "Do you have something to offer?"

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:09

"Let's go for breakfast... How long have you been up?"

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:10

"As always, since five in the morning."

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:12

Hard worker. It's okay, he's not asking for money, so let him work!

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:13

"Do we have national food?"

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:13

The old man was panting indignantly, but before he could answer, I interrupted:

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:17

"Great. The refectory sells breakfast for the road, consisting of local delicacies. Choose something scarier. They'll work up an appetite running up and down the stairs. So offer it for the road. Consider packaging so they can eat it on the bus."

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:19

"On the way back, when there is no point in claiming the original taste of the local delicacies. Although where is the variety here? Potatoes and fish, perhaps?"

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:20

"That's is. However, everything was fresh, so I was satisfied with my breakfast."

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:21

"Egelbert, why hasn't anyone in twenty years asked where the Baron is?"

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:21

"What for, your Grace?"

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:22

"Enough with the "Grace" already. In private, we are just Alexandr and Egelbert, okay?"

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:22

The old man bowed with dignity.

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:23

"Thank you, Alexander. Is that what for? I'm the manager, I got my orders, and I'm carrying them out. Why should anyone care how I got it? That would be interfering in someone else's life."

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:29

Blessed places. Practically the Garden of Eden! In my homeland, every janitor wants to know what you are, how you are, and why you are here. And point out what you're wrong about.

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:30

"In addition, of the twelve baronies of Esk land, only six remained in the hands of local natives, while the rest were bought by all sorts of people. Sometimes very busy, and therefore unable... ...or have no desire... to come here in person."

Camrad_RIP 19.11.21 в 10:31