Господин Барон / The Baron: 7

* * *
Grimacing, I twisted my neck, stretching it. Dan sighed noisily behind me, and the fighter accompanying von Welleschwarm looked at me with hatred and carefully shifted the spear from one hand to the other.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 07:45

The battle go on for the third hour.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 07:46

The enemy was experienced, ruthless, and knew exactly what he wanted. And he wanted my castle... I, accordingly, did not want to part with the castle, and therefore:

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 07:46

"All right. So you're saying that according to the Truth of Esks, you have the right to call in the militia?"

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 07:47

"I've said it five times."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 07:47

"Of course, I just want to clarify once more."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 07:48

"Yes, I do. So I suggest you," von Welleschwarm rummaged through the pile of papers in front of him and pulled out the right one. "Surrender immediately to avoid unnecessary bloodshed because your available forces are far inferior to mine. I'm willing to offer you quite honorable terms, but.."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 07:49

"But this question also needs to be discussed. Shall we continue?"

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 07:49

Dan sighed in a particularly heartbreaking way, and my baron colleague and I both pretended to smile in the same polite way and pulled our papers closer.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 07:50

I wouldn't let him leave after the declaration of war. This is no bookish romantic Von Windifrosch. I knew that if I let the enemy go now, tomorrow, I would really have to go to war, and I didn't want that. Things happen in war, you know, and I had had enough of "things" in my youth. So quickly sending Marty away with a far-fetched errand, I invited von Welleschwarm to the negotiations, with my honest name guaranteeing his safety. The old man doubted my word. So we argued for another five minutes about how many warriors he had the right to bring with him, settling on five outside the door and one beside each other. Then we locked ourselves in the library, piled our books on top of each other, and started the fight. We measured the size of the guards and the number of militiamen, threatened international sanctions and publicity, poured in solid numbers, and made up arguments.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 07:59

Von Welleschwarm had prepared quite well. For instance, he had sworn in not only the Police but also the Fire Brigade, so he could have more than a hundred men at a time. But there were only a few villages and tourist campsites in his barony, and I had the second largest city on the peninsula at my disposal, so if I gathered a militia, I had a better chance.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 08:08

Except I don't want to do that at all.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 08:18

I don't know what that stupid old man thinks he is, but I don't want to start a fight and spill blood. As soon as one bloody fighter falls, no matter which side, it'll be a different game with a different set of rules.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 08:22

Technically this old moron was in his right and acted absolutely legally, but I think he had little idea of the consequences. In his eyes everything looked quite logical: he decisively conquered my castle, becoming its de facto owner, and after voting and re-accession he confirmed the right to the "legally acquired property" de jure. I do not know what he expects to do with this historic ruin next, but the bloody moron wanted to realize himself in life!

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 08:30

And now I had to somehow turn him in a different direction, and that's why:

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 08:31

"I'm afraid, Ewald, you don't take into account all the subtleties." I slammed the dusty Codebook shut noisily. "It's not the number of men important, after all, it's the morale, the readiness, the armor. So..."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 08:33

The gaze of the old man sitting across from me wiggled a little, and I fell silent.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 08:33

And suddenly I realize.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 08:34

Sometimes it happens that you understand the thoughts and feelings of the person sitting across from you. It doesn't depend on how well you know the person, it's more like a kind of consonance. When I was young, I had a friend who used to work as a witch doctor, and he told the overly trusting about aura harmony, chakra cleansing, and all that. But we got to talking one day in the kitchen and he said something like, "There are moments when even the most cynical pragmatist starts to believe in magic, Shurik."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 08:40

I was ready to believe it now. Because I didn't read his mind but felt the way the retired social worker, who had suddenly become a baron, was desperately hoping that I would get him out of this strange situation. He just didn't seem to realize right away that it wasn't enough to have the right and the opportunity to lead live people into battle, risking their health and lives. He didn't want to be a castle owner at all, but he couldn't give up the chance because there was never going to be another one. And I was just as ready to swear that what he wanted most of all was to be in his usual place in his office, surrounded by simple and understandable things. And that he just couldn't take a step back because... everything was right.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 08:47

He is a baron. He has the right and must use it. It is legitimate and reasonable. Normal person does not miss such opportunities. But he is also an Eskenlander, who has lived his sixty years in this quiet and in his way comfortable place and he understands enough about life to imagine how this venture might end up for those whom he was used to seeing every day, with whom he greeted, discussed leisurely local news, walked the same streets.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 10:23

He wasn't ready. He was caught up in a wave and dragged somewhere he didn't want to go, and all his life's wits were enough to find a foothold in dusty books-a wrong foothold, really just a nudge toward something scary. This seems to have been glimpsed in Egelbert's eyes and Fisk's... many. A vague incomprehension of how they were in this strange position and an equally vague hope that if they took it for granted, everything would sooner or later return to normal. I remember going for a walk with Anna, and she persuaded me to rent these damn rollerskates. And so I stand on them for the first time in my life, trying not to move, and there is a slight slope, and I pick up speed, knowing that now I will get to the first hole and crash. I can do nothing because then I'm going to crash right now, and I can only hope I somehow manage to get around down there. And the slope gets steeper and steeper.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 10:25

Now there were two forces at work in that tall, gaunt man, and I just had to help one of them. I just had to choose the right words, and I had to do it now before he left. He wasn't a greedy fool at all, just an ordinary, elderly man who had worked all his life with the rules and by the rules, and who was now doing what he was supposed to do. He just couldn't figure out in time how it would end, and now all he could do was roll downhill, trying not to fall. As they say, "life didn't prepare him for that. But me...

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 10:37

"Ahem. So the war will be the war." The guard looked up in surprise at my tone. "So you're starting tomorrow?"

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 10:40

"Mr. Mogila, I've already told you about it..."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 10:41

Great. So, I agree! Tomorrow we start the siege. I think since I have fewer men, we'll stay within the castle walls. I suggest we make camp in the meadow near Miller's Grocery, Sir Erraine will send men to set up.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 10:42

"Um... It's reasonable."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 10:42

"Now and here, we barons will swear to use only those forces that are at our disposal at this moment."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 10:43

"Mmm...I agree."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 10:43

"All right, the castle chapel will do. Dan, rush over to Eggie's and have him set up the recording equipment. Ewald, you don't mind the publicity, do you?" I tried not to be too fussy but to speak as assertively as possible.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:02

"Not at all. I'm also..."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:02

Not letting him finish, I continued:

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:03

"We'll put the medical tent on the left, in the parking lot."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:04

"A medical tent?"

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:04

"With the status of immunity, for which my word and yours are the guarantor."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:05

"Hmm. Yes, it makes sense. But the laws about it, unfortunately..."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:05

"My dear neighbor, there are the laws here. I would put it this way - if there are no suitable laws, you can do anything that won't upset your mother. What would she say about such a tent?"

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:07

The old man was coming alive before my eyes.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:07

"She would agree! She had been head of the department at the local hospital for twenty years."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:19

"Then I'll give the order now, allocate your medic, and tomorrow morning we'll start fighting."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:19

"Why tomorrow?"

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:19

"I want to have time to install the bleachers for tourists. Profit from them - in half."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:45

"Hmm. I'm not sure that's consistent with knightly principles."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:45

"The war must feed itself!"

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:46

"Then you get a third, and I'll get the rest, according to the number of warriors!"

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:46

"Forty percent for you, the same for me, and twenty percent for medics, advertising, and extra guides. We'll have to keep a close eye on the tourists, and neither you nor I have any extra men."

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:51

"Interesting! You have half as many soldiers, and you have an equal share?"

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:52

"Of course. I have a castle, and the whole point of this whole thing is to take it away. Besides, I'll provide the main flow of spectators!"

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:52

"And you'll also take the cream off the increased sales from the city merchants!"

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:53

We yelled at each other quite vigorously, which paradoxically calmed both the Welshwarmers and Dan. True, there were a few peeks at the door from the hallway, but once we were sure that all we were doing was grabbing each other's hands and waving thick volumes of law around, we closed the door.

Camrad_RIP 13.01.23 в 11:54