Господин Барон / The Baron: Глава 9

Chapter 15

Camrad_RIP 23.01.23 в 09:49

Some people give too much meaning to appearance.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 09:31

In the morning, Egilbert once again attempted to dress me in the local national costume. After a heated discussion about tradition, which left us with our own opinions, we finally agreed that certain functions should be performed exclusively in the appropriate uniform for the occasion. Further attempts to dress me up in stockings and round "shorts" I rejected with indignation, which is why I was now sitting in my Romanian-Boyar cinematic attire, stroking the Ghoul lying on my lap, nervously twitching his ears.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 09:48

Circumstances drove me and the "poor cat" into that chair. With the cat, it is simple - he dared to trespass on one of Madame van Storre's creations, after which she vowed to shave him bald. And since she was not going to get away with it, the little predator was hiding behind my authority.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 09:49

With me it was much sadder.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 09:49

The laws of the Federation were used in the city, I even issued a special decree, but sometimes I had to get involved personally, resolving issues beyond the competence of the officials of the Magistrate and the Police. I couldn't get away from judicial functions. The flip side of any privilege is responsibility, so right after breakfast, they took the "throne chair" out of the knight's hall and into the courtyard. In the courtyard - because tourists and townspeople (in that order) have the right to observe the trial. The chair, by the way, is just phenomenally uncomfortable.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 09:54

During the week of the siege, small problems had accumulated. Nothing that Erraine and Ulfric could not solve, but how is it possible to appeal to a Higher Authority and not take advantage of it? That's not the way the Esks are! Especially if the baron had a free day.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 09:55

Yesterday, von Welleschwarm's troops revolted, demanding a proper two days off, since they don't get combat pay for doing their vassal duty. An explanation was simple - tonight Eskenland would die out.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 09:56

Stores close earlier than usual, cars disappear from the streets, and everyone locks themselves in their homes and sticks to the blue screens. Tonight, the track cycling qualifiers are broadcast.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 09:56

That's the second most important topic of discussion for the locals, after Eskenland's independence and before taxes.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 09:57

The only time my steward was seriously offended by me was after my careless remark that the cycle track was not too spectacular. The old man was not even indignant; he simply said, in an icy tone, that I did not understand anything and thought very loudly that only an ignorant barbarian who did not understand the delicate Eskenland soul could speak such nonsense. I had to apologize.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 09:59

But come on, we all have our shortcomings. For example, the baron's rank - the need to judge the disputes of subjects. It seems to be nothing to worry about, just sitting in a chair and listening, but I managed to curse everything in the last half an hour.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 10:00

I knew a guy once, a simple guy, who came up from the working class and owned a small factory, and he once said that all these "celebrities" actually get money for what they got from their moms and dads, do not even work, just enjoy themselves, but whine as if they do not run on stage for an hour a day, but waving a pickaxe all day long.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 10:01

So we had a bet.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 10:01

We broke into a producer's office, traded for an aspiring trainee girl, and made a deal - she was practicing her dance, and a work guy was walking on a treadmill; she was practicing her vocals, and he was reading aloud in the next room; she was rehearsing - he was walking around the room; she was dancing at night - he was stomping from foot to foot in the alley. He made it through four days out of the agreed ten, then brought me the bottle I had won, and bought the girl the most pompous bouquet and the biggest chocolate bar he could find.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 10:04

I have the same problem - I don't seem to be doing anything specific. I'm sitting, despite a fairly tangible breeze, pouring sweat, stroking the cat, and looking at the sky, but I wouldn't wish my place even for an enemy.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 10:05

Unless it's a really frightening enemy.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 10:06

Screw them. I'm sick of them! For the third time, they start repeating arguments over and over!

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 12:58

"That's enough talk. Let the duel decide from here on!"

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 12:58

"Excuse me, Your Grace?"

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 12:59

"Write the law, Egilbert - from now on, any citizen of the barony has the right to settle a dispute in a legal match. The contest will be in the subject matter, and the one who proves to be the best professional will win."

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 12:59

"But such a hedge must be grown for at least three years, right?"

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:00

"That's the point, Egilbert, that's the point."

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:00

"I see. You want them to be able to figure out exactly whether this kind of plant height is necessary in the meantime, plus they'll both gain additional knowledge and be able to visually support their arguments. Very wise, Alexander, very wise!"

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:08

I didn't say anything about them just not coming to see me again. Anyway, when they got back together in three years, they would start arguing again.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:08

"Next!"

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:08

"Your Grace, Baron! I call upon you to cleanse the city of foreigners who do not honor the privileges of the natives!"

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:09

My gloomy look made the speaker gasp and tone down, but he quickly came to his senses and explained what he meant.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:31

It turned out that there had once been a bakers' guild in the city, and unlike everyone else, the bakers had been given their guild charter in a brief moment of independence. Now, this sturdy, red-breasted old man wanted me, "honoring privilege," to command his rival's store to be closed.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:33

"According to this law, I, as the sole representative of the bakers' guild, have the exclusive right to bake bread in the city. If Mr. Pressler wants to continue his illegal activities, he must first be trained and then have the guild test his compliance with the guild standard!"

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:33

I looked at him in silence. I don't like slyasses like that, no matter what they say.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:35

The baker began to deflate under my gaze, like disturbed dough, and only put a neat folder with a copy of an ancient document in front of him as a shield.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:36

The people fell silent, perplexed. On the one hand, of course, he's right, but on the other...

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:37

Well, I think you should be rewarded for your loyalty to tradition. Egilbert, write a decree stating that from now on I allow, as before, the guild master Pantier to use the same ingredients in baking bread," I reached into my binder and pulled out a book and peered into it: "Ground bones, wood chaff, and clay exactly as it was done before, and to produce bread without regard to the requirements of foreign, read federal, quality laws. Baker Pressler, as a non-member of the guild and with no proper reputation, is allowed to use only the freshest and cleanest products. It is also his responsibility to send samples to the castle kitchen every day, and the castle cook will personally determine his qualifications."

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:40

It got to the zealot of guilds rights before I was finished:

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:41

"But... Mr. Baron, my family has been baking the finest..."

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:42

I stood up sharply, causing Ghoul to plop down with a disgruntled purr:

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:43

It is the guilds' duty to the city to guard the quality of their goods and services, which is why they are privileged! As a tool, you are given the right to recruit apprentices and draw up trials, but woe to anyone who considers himself chosen! I saw nothing in your store that Pressler could not replicate.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:45

----Besides, you're trying to cover yourself with a piece of paper about privileges, and meanwhile, no guild presentations have been made, no special skills of guild members specified, no proof that you are indeed a master, the best at what you do!" The pathos made my cheekbones tingle, but I held on. "You have three days before the Magistrate's Committee to prove with a masterpiece that you are a true master. I've never seen anyone from Gravshtayn repeat it, either," I thought for a moment, remembering. "The vanilla bagels that Pressler is so good at and that I haven't seen in your store. If the Gravshain Bakers Guild is demanding privileges by failing to provide the good citizens with everything they require, then it should not be about protection, but about a fine evenly shared among all members of the guild!"

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:47

Actually, I was naturally meddling in someone else's business, it is not proper for a feudal lord to control professional associations, even with the hands of his vassal's subordinates, but for former-future citizens of the Federation, it seemed natural that everything should go in order, under the supervision of appointed persons.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:52

Pretending to gradually calm down, I sat down, dragged the cat out from under the chair by the scruff of the neck, and laying him on my lap, I "peacefully" looked around the crowd:

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:53

"Well, who else here wants ethnic privilege? You'd better not lead us to sin! Otherwise, I'll make laws for you. So you'll have a hard time complying with them."

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:54

Two or three people started to barrel out of the surrounding crowd, but the rest of us were rather pleased. The show goes on, the baron gets a little angry, and the sassy (though good at baking traditional bread and nuts) baker is put in his place.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:54

People like to see authority working.

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:55

"Mr. Baron! I demand justice!"

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:56

Another one came out of the crowd... I'd say "pretender," but who am I?

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:58

He was an ordinary man, but his attire reminded him of a "Swedish ambassador". Well, is he going to demand "kemsku volost"?

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:57

"I am a representative of a law firm that oversees the rights of..."

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:57

"Shorter."

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:56

"A pirate has settled in your castle!"

Camrad_RIP 24.01.23 в 13:56